How do you not doubt yourself?

My ex shattered my confidence and I lost a sense of myself. I always second guess myself now. Who I am, My strengths , my opinions, even my beliefs. He is influenced me so much with his close minded and selfish thoughts and beliefs and I hate it.

How do I stop second guessing myself and go back to sticking to my personal values?

It is completely normal to feel like this after a breakup. When you are in a relationship with someone, it is very easy to lose yourself and start incorporating your SO's likes, interests, and habits into your own; but unfortunately this is where a lot of people screw up when they do this in a relationship. A relationship is meant for two WHOLE people who have their own sets of values, beliefs, and interests; and the other person compliments you and is just a happy addition to your life. So from what this sounds, your relationship was unhealthy. I was in the same exact spot as you, and it is scary once you leave a relationship and suddenly you have to pick up the pieces and regain the person you once were before you met your ex.

Was this breakup recent? If yes, then take this time to grieve and just let your emotions out. Every time you second guess yourself, just remember this pain is temporary. Break-ups are meant to be an important phase on regaining clarity and bettering yourself. Take all the time you need to fix your personal demons and issues, and don't feel any rush to get yourself into another relationship.

Go back to doing the things you loved doing before meeting your ex. Go to the spa, go pamper and spoil yourself. You deserve it. Spend time with friends and family, they will give you all the input and reassurance you need. Also, you can ask them what they love and find special about you. While this sounds a bit silly, it really does help and it gives you a clearer perspective about yourself and a little positive motivation to go back to where you first started.

Once you find yourself, always remember that you are your own person when you are in a relationship. When you depend on someone for your own identity and values, you completely lose sight of yourself and that just spells disaster in the end. To find your own confidence, you must believe that you are valuable and beautiful no matter the circumstance, and you are! Love yourself everyday, and I guarantee that you will find yourself quicker than you think.

Enjoy being single and enjoy what life offers you. Once you develop these healthy, positive mentalities; you will attract positive people and the person who is meant to be for you! Good luck and hugs.

I am in the same vote i always second guess myself..i always feel as though im not good enough..i cant seem to drop my barrier due to getting hurt again...my kids always ask when im coming home and it kills me and i dont know what say to them for hurting them to..my confidence has gone..i feel like my lifes a mess..i cant see where i wanna be only with her and my kids..im a shy person anyway this just makes it harder to meet new women or or even think about a relationship..

I have struggles. I trust in God. He will and foes see me through. Case in point. I'm facing legal stuff a trial coming up. Totally stressed out life ending stress. Well yesterday I learned my job offers as part of their benefits package legal services and identity theft recovery/protection. A weight has suddenly lifted. The light at the end of the tunnel.

To answer your question. God he sees me through my darkest of moments my darkest of days.

Focus more on what you can do than what you can't do. Focus on the things you know, even if there is a lot that you don't. When I go through difficult trials (like I did recently when I lost my job), I remember that I am more than what I do, more than what other people think of me, and that I have more potential than I am now realizing. I am a caterpillar in the process of becoming a butterfly, and sometimes the process of change HURTS. I find myself metaphorically bleeding on the floor, but even in those moments I know I have value. I know I have gifts. I know I am here on this planet for a reason. I know I have something to offer. Hold a child. Pet a cat. Grow a plant. Leave your mark, make an impact. Get curious about everything life has to offer. I suspect somewhere deep inside you still believe in yourself. Find that feeling and nurture it. Go back to your childhood if you have to. I promise it's there. The human spirit is remarkably resilient. You may feel broken to the core, but there is a part of you that cannot be broken. Not by anyone.