Debt in a relationship?

My boyfriend took me into his apartment and let me live with him and fed me after I got in a really bad car accident and had nothing; no car, no money, no job, no food, nothing. He knew I had nothing and offered to help me get back on my feet and asked me to live with him, even though I had another friend I could have gone to live with after the accident. I didn’t pay rent the first month I was there, and he fed me with the food already in his cabinets.

Fast forward a little over three months and I had to move out after our conflicts started getting violent. We are still together but still hashing out the same issues that we have always fought about, money being a big one. I paid rent for the second month I was there, and paid for a third month that I wasn’t even staying for, which he proceeded to spend that rent money on drugs. He now says I owe him $1500 for food and rent and other expenses that he gave to me while I was trying to get on my feet.

It hurts my feelings that he’s kept score like this. In a relationship, I feel like it should be in a way that we both help each other out when it’s needed and when we can. Thoughts?

......he is a drug addict and he needs to fund his habit and right now he is looking at you for that. You don't really have a relationship. What he saw is a vulnerable victim that he can milk later through guilt and manipulation or outright demands of an iou, which is exactly what he is doing.

You need to dig up your common sense, dump him for good, block him out of your life and never ever look back or have any contact with him again. Stop deluding yourself that this is a relationship. Yeah it is in a way, just not the relationship as you think of relationships. Also, how is things started to get violent not a clue for you to run? What are you clinging to here exactly? Oh he took care of me...see above paragraph for what motivated him..... and RUN!

My thoughts are you should break up with him. You're in the best situation to do so (living away from him). It will be a much easier and because of the physical violence, safer as well.

Unless he had you sign some sort of contract and has a record of the expenses you owe him, he can pretty much kiss that money goodbye. He agreed to let you stay with him for free. It doesn't sound as if there was even any sort of verbal contract.

My ex had promised me throughout the course of our relationship (and said even if we brole up) he would pay back all the expenses he exhausted from me and my credit cards. I had to cover his half of everything because he couldn't hold down a job and when he did have one he'd spend it all on himself. It's all my savings plus $13 000 in credit cards he owes me but I'll never see it and I've accepted that. I learned a (very expensive) lesson.

Get this guy out of your life he's toxic.

Don't ever date an addict. It's all fun and games untill it's time for sobriety and seriousness.

Cut your losses. He's wrong, he invited you in under the circumstances of 'getting on your feet after an accident' so legally that was a gift. Run, he's telling you this to buy drugs. Stop contacting him, block him from everything.

I had to move out after our conflicts started getting violent.I paid rent for the second month I was there, and paid for a third month that I wasn’t even staying for, which he proceeded to spend that rent money on drugs. He now says I owe him $1500.

I would pay him for that first month of rent and break up with him. Violence has no place in a relationship.

In what way did these arguments get violent?

Personally, I'd pay the first month's rent. That's just my own sense of pride speaking. But if he didn't ever say you need to pay him back, I doubt you're under any sort of legal obligation to do so.

In a relationship, I feel like it should be in a way that we both help each other out when it’s needed and when we can. Thoughts?

He's a drug addict. You can't depend on him to help anyone but himself. Even this thing that seemed to be out of the goodness of his heart, and sense of obligation to his partner has come with strings attached.

I was going to say pay him back for the rent, but you already paid for a month that you weren't even staying with him. I bet if you gave him $1500 (how did he arrive at that number?) he would soon come up with other things you owe him for.

I see the logic behind paying the first month's rent: small price to get out of a bad situation.

Here are my concerns:

I think that paying the first month's rent may indicate to a judge that you intended to pay all of the living expenses that you incurred during that first month, since the circumstances were the same for all of the expenses. I could be wrong about this, but I'd check into it before I paid.

If he is able to intimidate you into paying the rent that you never agreed to paying, it may encourage him to use this tactic to get you pay for other things.

Bingo! yes. Do not pay him, when you 'repay' someone you are implying that it was a loan not a gift. He's trying to trick you by claiming you 'owe' him for his kindness.

He offered to take you in you already paid a couple months and got out. Go no contact block him. You don't 'owe' a decent bf for being kind after an accident.

I think that paying the first month's rent may indicate to a judge that you intended to pay all of the living expenses that you incurred during that first month

Look...you are not responsible for his rent or anything else. Period. Full stop. Him trying to claim that you owe him anything is nonsense. It would be the same as if a friend of yours invited you to their summer house for a few weeks and then told you that since you accepted the offer, you now need to pay their mortgage on the place. It's absurd and I hope you realize that. You owe him nothing, not a single cent either monetarily or in any other way shape or form. This guy is literally trying to shake you down. Don't be a fool and just disappear from his life.

The relationship is violent, but you're sticking around to split hairs over money?

Skip that. Get rid of the guy, and if he wants to take you to court, let him.

I want my account deleted. Thanks!

I want my account deleted. Thanks!

We don't delete accounts. Are you the OP? Not sure why you posted this in this particular thread?