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Thread: Is there a name for this guy's behavior? And why is he doing it?

  1. #261
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by Rockchick26
    But everyone in HERE looks down on him, you're all wondering why I dated him, stayed with him, defended him.
    I have not seen a shred of that here - I am surprised you are interpreting what is written like that. I do see a lot of people questioning why you would choose to be involved romantically with someone with all those issues. That's not looking down at him in the least -simply observing that it's often a bad idea to get romantically involved with someone who has that lifestyle/situation. As opposed to being a supportive friend who helps that individual locate resources to assist him (if that individual asks/is willing).

    I think it's much easier to be with someone romantically who you believe "needs" your presence in his life to be a better person -that way you get to feel needed but on the other hand since you are in this more parental role you do not have to do the harder work of being an equal partner in a romantic relationship. And when that person stops "needing" you in that parental role, he will feel stronger and go on to find someone who he can be in a more balanced romantic relationship with -or be on his own. That "you need me to help you be a better person" is a short term thing most often and is most often unhealthy.

  2. #262
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    A mere 4 month relationship has resulted in 14 pages of disection Op I think you are reading the wrong books. Try reading all you can on codependecy.

  3. #263
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    Originally Posted by Rockchick26
    But everyone in HERE looks down on him, you're all wondering why I dated him, stayed with him, defended him.
    OP, we are going by the info YOU provided.

    No one is looking down on this guy, but we are questioning your choices in men - especially since it has been so long since the last relationship.

    He is not a good choice. He is not stable in any area of his life - he's a mess. That is why we suggest you seek therapy to understand your poor choices, and co dependency, but I know this is falling on deaf ears.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 07-02-2016 at 11:18 AM.

  4. #264
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    Speechless!

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