20 years and i'm heartbroken

I was 14 years old and my sisters cat had kittens, the next day I went round to see them and they were these tiny hairless little things with their eyes closed and I decided I wanted one.

I spent the next few weeks trying to convince my parents to let me have one when they were old enough and they just refused, we had 2 cats as it was and to them that was too many. As the kittens grew I got fond of a small black and white one and even named him Harry in the hope that my parents would let me take him home but they were adamant that we weren't going to have him.

Then 1 day I was coming home from school and as I got to my house my mum was standing in the window holding him and making him wave to me with his paw, I ran in doors and was instantly in love with him.

From that moment onwards we were inseparable, he lived in my room and slept on my bed with me every night, he tried to follow me to school most mornings and I had to run out the door when he wasn't looking just so he wouldn't do it and he was always there for me. No matter what happened during the day I would go home and he would be there to love me and sit with me.

I didn't leave home till I was 29 to move in with my now wife and I left him at my parents house, he was getting on abit by then and his best days were behind him and it didn't seem fair to move him into a flat with no garden as he had always been an outdoors cat, every Sunday I would go to visit my parents and he would meow when he saw me and be all over me, eventually curling up on my lap and having a nap while I coached him.

When I had children he accepted him and was very tolerant of them, even tho they were young and liked to grab his tail or touch his paws (2 things he never liked) he would still be affectionate towards them.

But since Christmas he had been getting worse, he started to lose alot of weight and he was having problems balancing on his back legs, we took him to the vets and they gave him various medication but nothing seemed to help him, he only seemed to get worse.

Then the day came I had been dreading, I got a phone call from my mum at 9pm last night saying they had booked him into an emergency vet as his back leg had collapsed and he had fallen over and couldn't walk, I rushed round there and jumped in their car and we headed to the vets, after waiting an hour or so we saw a someone and he examined Harry and told us he was very concerned about how depressed he was and that the muscles in his backlegs were wasting away.

We had 2 options, one involved various tests and medications and him staying in the vets for nights being observed and the other was him being put to sleep, my mum just looked at me and said "he's your cat you need to make a decision" and I decided it was best to let him go, he was 20 at this point and he was just skin and bones, he couldn't walk and it just didn't seem fair to try and keep him alive when his quality of life would be so poor.

I picked him up and cuddled and kissed him and told him how much I loved him and how much he had meant to me over the years and I was crying my eyes out, then they put something in his leg and he laid down so peacefully while they injected him and he just drifted off. I was a complete mess by this point, this was best friend for 20 years and it was the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye to him, but I had to be there with him, I couldn't let him go without me being there.

Now I am so heartbroken and I miss him so much, i've never had any animal as long as i've had him and I grew from a teenager into a man with him by my side the whole way, and in some ways I feel so guilty for making this choice to end his life, I know it was the right thing to do but it was the hardest decision i've ever had to make.

My mum was in tears and when I got home and broke the news to my wife she broke down into tears, she had known him for 11 years and she loved him to bits as well.

I don't know what I expect from this, I just feel like I need to get this out of my head, I just can't stop thinking about his little lifeless body laying there afterwards and I cry everytime it enters my head.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]11074[/ATTACH]

Aw. I sympathise fully.

Time heals. To a certain extent anyway. Allow yourself this grief. It's really difficult when it comes to animals. If you gave this little critter a good life, then think about how lucky it was compared to a lot of mistreated etc. animals.

Remember fondly. And be proud that you gave it a good life, and yes you probably made the right decision.

This is so sad. My condolences on your loss. You definitely made the best choice for him. 20 years with a beloved pet is amazing; I'm so glad you had all that time with him.

I am sorry about the loss of your cat. Yes ,you definitely made the right choice. 20 years is extremely long for a cat . Sometimes people keep pets around to avoid hurting their own feelings and the poor animal has no quality-of-life or is in horrible pain .

I can't think of a more fitting eulogy for a 20-year furry friend.

I'm a cat lover as well, and I'm so sorry for your loss. He was lucky to have you. I hope you can find peace and comfort through your memories.

My hugs and condolences to you. He knew he was loved, you gave that cat the best life ever. It's all I can tell you and I'm sorry I can't do more, but man that kitty was loved and he loved you.

I think that means you've both had a very good life together. He'll live on in your hearts always. (Wipes away the tears)

Longview.

So so sorry to hear about your beloved cat. I am a cat person and I can only imagine how heart-breaking it was to make that decision. Your puss-cat had a good long life with you. They do become part of the family.....

I was 14 years old and my sisters cat had kittens, the next day I went round to see them and they were these tiny hairless little things with their eyes closed and I decided I wanted one.

 

I spent the next few weeks trying to convince my parents to let me have one when they were old enough and they just refused, we had 2 cats as it was and to them that was too many. As the kittens grew I got fond of a small black and white one and even named him Harry in the hope that my parents would let me take him home but they were adamant that we weren't going to have him.

 

Then 1 day I was coming home from school and as I got to my house my mum was standing in the window holding him and making him wave to me with his paw, I ran in doors and was instantly in love with him.

 

From that moment onwards we were inseparable, he lived in my room and slept on my bed with me every night, he tried to follow me to school most mornings and I had to run out the door when he wasn't looking just so he wouldn't do it and he was always there for me. No matter what happened during the day I would go home and he would be there to love me and sit with me.

 

I didn't leave home till I was 29 to move in with my now wife and I left him at my parents house, he was getting on abit by then and his best days were behind him and it didn't seem fair to move him into a flat with no garden as he had always been an outdoors cat, every Sunday I would go to visit my parents and he would meow when he saw me and be all over me, eventually curling up on my lap and having a nap while I coached him.

 

When I had children he accepted him and was very tolerant of them, even tho they were young and liked to grab his tail or touch his paws (2 things he never liked) he would still be affectionate towards them.

 

But since Christmas he had been getting worse, he started to lose alot of weight and he was having problems balancing on his back legs, we took him to the vets and they gave him various medication but nothing seemed to help him, he only seemed to get worse.

 

Then the day came I had been dreading, I got a phone call from my mum at 9pm last night saying they had booked him into an emergency vet as his back leg had collapsed and he had fallen over and couldn't walk, I rushed round there and jumped in their car and we headed to the vets, after waiting an hour or so we saw a someone and he examined Harry and told us he was very concerned about how depressed he was and that the muscles in his backlegs were wasting away.

 

We had 2 options, one involved various tests and medications and him staying in the vets for nights being observed and the other was him being put to sleep, my mum just looked at me and said "he's your cat you need to make a decision" and I decided it was best to let him go, he was 20 at this point and he was just skin and bones, he couldn't walk and it just didn't seem fair to try and keep him alive when his quality of life would be so poor.

 

I picked him up and cuddled and kissed him and told him how much I loved him and how much he had meant to me over the years and I was crying my eyes out, then they put something in his leg and he laid down so peacefully while they injected him and he just drifted off. I was a complete mess by this point, this was best friend for 20 years and it was the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye to him, but I had to be there with him, I couldn't let him go without me being there.

 

Now I am so heartbroken and I miss him so much, i've never had any animal as long as i've had him and I grew from a teenager into a man with him by my side the whole way, and in some ways I feel so guilty for making this choice to end his life, I know it was the right thing to do but it was the hardest decision i've ever had to make.

 

My mum was in tears and when I got home and broke the news to my wife she broke down into tears, she had known him for 11 years and she loved him to bits as well.

 

I don't know what I expect from this, I just feel like I need to get this out of my head, I just can't stop thinking about his little lifeless body laying there afterwards and I cry everytime it enters my head.

 

[ATTACH=CONFIG]11074[/ATTACH]

I get where you're coming from... It's a personal grievance, so you're allowed to feel what you feel.

But when you're over the personal connection... I find it helps to realize that this cat's life was no more valuable than the life of any animal you would eat without hesitation on most days... You fed this cat the flesh of dead animals for most of its life... The only difference being you saw this cat before it was prepared into an indistinguishable slab of meat...

I mostly handle small animals, and due to their delicate nature and small size, the humane action is often to euthanize them before a vet has a chance to see them. Often times they show no symptoms until it's too late to help them because they retain survival instincts and hide illnesses well.

It bothers me a lot every time, but honestly life moves on... So... Put this one cat's life into perspective of all the other human and animal lives that are being lost constantly with less consideration given towards their wellbeing... It doesn't make it hurt less, but maybe it gives you a perspective to better appreciate the animals you eat, the animals you keep, the people in your life, and where your life stands in the bulk of unfortunate realities...

Longview,

I teared up reading your wonderful eulogy. My heart goes out to you.

I'm sorry for your loss. Just know you made the right decision to end your cats suffering.

Pixels, this man didn't need your harsh post. He feels bad enough already!

I am so sorry for your loss, pets are part of the family and losing them is heart wrenching and leaves a terrible void.

I hope you can find some solace in the fact that you guys gave this cat an awesome, long life, and lots of love.

Fur Babies are such gifts. I've been there, and I just want you to know I really feel for you! I never underestimate the loss of a pet. It's such a hefty burden, but heals in time. Be good to yourself. Take care of yourself. ❤️

Thank you all for the kind words, it has helped me feel so much better...except for Pixels...that reply didn't do much for me and I have a had time imagining a Chicken being as affectionate as a Cat or Dog...

Been thinking about good things today, remembering why I loved him so much and how much I enjoyed his company, thats how I want to remember him rather than his last few days

Aw, what a beautiful loving post and tribute to your beloved cat. They most definitely knew they were well loved by you and you by them...sorry for the loss of your friend/kitty.