Got dumped by my girlfriend two days ago. Advice?

Basically we were together for 3 months. She had no prior relationships for a year and half before we met. She was a single mother and was struggling to make ends meet, busy all of the time, and was always stressed out.

She really liked me and I know this because she was always asking about me to mutual friends and even my own friends. She would keep tabs on me so on so forth. One night after intercourse she told me how much she was starting to care for me and that she's scared I won't love her. To that response I told her well I love her but it's way too early for me to be in love with you. And she told me she loved me too. The reason I'm giving you all of this information is just so you know that even though it was 3 months, there was a lot of attraction coming from her side.

I started to become needy near the end of our relationship which pushed her away. When she broke up with me I told her a lot of things about myself that I wasn't really proud of. She told me she needed time to think so I gave her space and two days later she broke up with me saying

"My life is really hectic right now, I'm moving, and I'm not saying that this can never work out but I don't expect you to wait on me either, I appreciate everything you've done for me and my child, see you around"

I knew that this wasn't the real reason and I expressed that to her and she said well you don't have to believe me but I know the truth.

I sent a few texts frustrated in the moment. Nothing too awful just saying my peace before I left her all together. The last text I sent ended with me saying "this is the last thing I will say to you" and so far I've stuck to that. I have not texted her nor called her since the break up and I plan on sticking to that.

Around 11:30pm she sent me a text pissed off and irritated and just blowing up on me. Which showed me she still cared to an extent. I didn't reply and that;s the last thing I've heard from her.

It is now two days later, and today was better than yesterday. However, I want to get back with her. Eventually once all of this blows over. We had a real connection and that was undeniable.

I should also add that I uploaded a picture last night of me, my buddy, and a girl with my arm around her drinking at a party. Don't know if she's seen it yet. But I figured a little jealousy and mystery could help my case a little bit.

So since we broke up two days ago, and my ultimate goal is to better myself but still get back together, is there any advice you can give me?

Thanks so much if you read.

-Kyl

I'm sorry to tell you this because you really seem to sincerely like her, but you couldn't push her any further away than you already have, with this additional stuff.

she sent me a text pissed off and irritated and just blowing up on me. Which showed me she still cared to an extent.

 

I should also add that I uploaded a picture last night of me, my buddy, and a girl with my arm around her drinking at a party. Don't know if she's seen it yet. But I figured a little jealousy and mystery could help my case a little bit.

I'm sorry to tell you this because you really seem to sincerely like her, but you couldn't push her any further away than you already have, with this additional stuff.

I mean, I don't want her to think that I'm just sitting around in my house moping over our break up. That's why I uploaded the picture. To show her that I'm desired by other women. Because the girl in the photo really does like me. But I'm way too into my ex girl to do anything about it.

I should also add that I uploaded a picture last night of me, my buddy, and a girl with my arm around her drinking at a party. Don't know if she's seen it yet. But I figured a little jealousy and mystery could help my case a little bit.

When ever at a loss of what to do. . resist being manipulative and playing games.

When in doubt, take the high road.

If she smells what you are up to, you've just further pushed her away.

Resist doing things in the moment you might later regret.

I mean, I don't want her to think that I'm just sitting around in my house moping over our break up. That's why I uploaded the picture. To show her that I'm desired by other women. Because the girl in the photo really does like me. But I'm way too into my ex girl to do anything about it.

Well, this won't do anything but make her hate you even more.

After a breakup, the less you do the better. The less talking, the less begging, the less game playing etc.

If you don't communicate, you can't screw it up worse than it already is. It gives them a chance to miss you and reassess what life will be like without you. Constant communication and begging or game playing just pushes them farther away and reaffirms their decision.

Best thing to do after a breakup is to shut your pie hole and move on.

Sorry but, if she's is even bothering to look at your social media, she'll see this and think "what a jerk", not "what a stud"

To show her that I'm desired by other women.

Well, this won't do anything but make her hate you even more.

 

After a breakup, the less you do the better. The less talking, the less begging, the less game playing etc.

 

If you don't communicate, you can't screw it up worse than it already is. It gives them a chance to miss you and reassess what life will be like without you. Constant communication and begging or game playing just pushes them farther away and reaffirms their decision.

 

Best thing to do after a breakup is to shut your pie hole and move on.

Fair enough but the picture is already uploaded so. I just know if I saw her upload a picture of another dude and her I would be pissed off yes but it'd make me more attracted to her in a weird way. Jealousy is a .

And I have cut all contact. Like I said in my post I haven't replied to her last message and haven't said since.

Fair enough but the picture is already uploaded so. I just know if I saw her upload a picture of another dude and her I would be pissed off yes but it'd make me more attracted to her in a weird way. Jealousy is a .

 

And I have cut all contact. Like I said in my post I haven't replied to her last message and haven't said since.

What's done is done. Just don't do anything more.

What's done is done. Just don't do anything more.

Do you think she will come back based on what she said and if I continue the no contact?

I know that's a stretch and you don't know the entire situation but I know she still cares.

I'm just really messed up over this. I really cared about her and her daughter.

Fair enough but the picture is already uploaded so. I just know if I saw her upload a picture of another dude and her I would be pissed off yes but it'd make me more attracted to her in a weird way. Jealousy is a .

^

The above statement may work while in Jr High School, yet in the adult world one would be able to see right through this, and view it as being pathetic.

The bottom line is, if she wants to get back together, she knows where to find you. And to throw in some food for thought, "skip the games."

^

The above statement may work while in Jr High School, yet in the adult world one would be able to see right through this, and view it as being pathetic.

 

The bottom line is, if she wants to get back together, she knows where to find you. And to throw in some food for thought, "skip the games."

Alright it won't happen again. The only reason I did it was to show that I'm enjoying my time without her instead of crying. I mean yeah I cried but I just don't want her to think she won.

Is it a war or a relationship you're after?

I just don't want her to think she won.

Is it a war or a relationship you're after?

A relationship. I had so much I wanted to give to this girl and her little one.

I'm just having a lot of conflicting feelings right now to due this wound being so fresh. I don't want a war though. I want us to work things out. But I know begging and pleading will get me nowhere. So I just figured jealousy and no contact would help idk I'm lost man

Ok well lay low for now. That sends a better message. Give her time to cool off and think, but stop doing stuff just to get her attention, in a bad way.

I had so much I wanted to give to this girl and her little one

Ok well lay low for now. That sends a better message. Give her time to cool off and think, but stop doing stuff just to get her attention, in a bad way.

Definitely the best thing. Thank you for helping me think clearly. I guess I'm just afraid she's going to forget me or if she's even thinking about me at all.

So an update for you someone convinced me to text her and apologize but not plead for her back because the way I left things and the photo I uploaded were just going to push her farther away. So what I sent was this

Look, I've had time to think about some things and why you might've left me and I really don't know the reason but I'll trust you and take your word for the explanation you gave me. I just want to let you know I'm sorry for what I did. I know I smothered you with all my problems and insecurity and leaned on you too much when you already have so much to deal with. I understand you being a single Mom and I know how busy you are. No I'm not a single Mom but I know you're busy as all hell. So I'm sorry for being needy and clingy with you and for all the hurtful things I said when I was frustrated. I don't want to leave things how they are right now because that's not the last memory I want you to have of me.

I'm not interested in being friends though. I told you that if we ever broke up I just cannot do that with you. So please never request that from me. I will only want you as my girlfriend. I understand that we may never get back together and I accept that. Take the time you need to, to do whatever to make yourself happy. I support your decision and I support you. Don't feel obligated to reply to me. It's really fine and I'll be okay. Just don't remember me for the negatives. I really do care.

Bad idea? Good idea?

I've read a million of these letters on this board and several others and the truth is they never work. Better to accept its over. She's made a decision and you can't change it..she has to come back on her own. Some do..most don't. Just live your life.

I've read a million of these letters on this board and several others and the truth is they never work. Better to accept its over. She's made a decision and you can't change it..she has to come back on her own. Some do..most don't. Just live your life.

I assume you're speaking about the message I sent to her?

You just don't get it. All this communication is just making things worse. There is absolutely NOTHING you can say at this stage to change her mind. Sappy letters just make you look weak and desperate. They only work in movies.

Suck it up, accept that it's over and move on. Let the future take care of itself. If she ever contacts you again, deal with it then.

What's done is done...see what happens. Is this the same someone who thought posting a pic to make her jealous would work?

someone convinced me to text her and apologize

take the picture down. not even for her , for yourself because you know the reason you posted it.

when you do this, they can see through it, you look bad and they actually dont miss you , they might get jealous and angry but that wont bring them back.

go and live your life normal.

What's done is done...see what happens. Is this the same someone who thought posting a pic to make her jealous would work?

No. That was my own stupid idea. She didn't reply to the message I sent but I honest felt better after sending it although now, I wish I would have worded it better. Yeah I did owe her an apology but I basically apologized for wanting her. Yeah I expressed that through neediness and insecurity but ultimately, I wanted her and I apologized for that which I don't owe her that right. I did owe an apology however, for all the hurtful things I said when I was frustrated.

What was your personal opinion on what I sent her?

It said what you wanted to say, so see what happens. It wasn't nasty or whiny so it seems ok.

What was your personal opinion on what I sent her?

It said what you wanted to say, so see what happens. It wasn't nasty or whiny so it seems ok.

Just wanna personally thank you for listening and replying to me.