I'm 31 and attracted to guys in their early 20s. Is this a red flag?

I mean, I can find men of any age attractive after I've gotten to know them, but I've noticed that I'm mostly drawn to guys in their early 20s. Sometimes it bothers me because, as I'm getting older, I can't always tell if someone is 21 or 16. Also, my instinct is to call them "boys." It felt OK when I was younger to refer to anyone my age as "boy," but now I wonder if there's a creepy insinuation behind my choice of word.

I think I'm attracted to younger guys because men my age or older tend to be more confident and experienced, which I find intimidating. I also reject the stereotype that guys in their 20s only want sex, but at the same time they're not in a hurry to get married, which is my preference because I'm also trying to gain some experience without stepping in too deep (see my first thread for details).

Is this something most people will consider a red flag though? Obviously I have issues and not someone a parent would recommend, but guys in their 20s themselves: if you were to find out the older woman you've been seeing exclusively dates someone your age would that freak you out?

Obviously I have issues and not someone a parent would recommend, but guys in their 20s themselves: if you were to find out the older woman you've been seeing exclusively dates someone your age would that freak you out?

I don't think it's weird... I mean, I'm 31 and I'm also attracted to girls in their 20s. (though, not solely) Do you also look young? I get mistaken for early 20's a lot... It's not so obvious if that's the case (win-win for you). Though, I'm used to women looking for older. It's okay to have preferences! I think "boy" is only creepy if you are purposely pointing out how much younger they are when using it.

Do what you like.

You'll find it harder to get one than one that's your age, but if you're happy with that then I wish you the best in luck.

Although it sounds a bit blunt, it's the same from a man's point of view - younger women are perfectly possible, but perhaps slightly trickier because you have to find one to whom age also doesn't matter. She has to appreciate the age gap, rather than resenting it.

You'll be grand. If someone considers it a red flag then they aren't suitable anyway.

I haven't read your previous thread so my answer is solely based on what I read in this one. To me it reflects your own maturity level in that department and that goes regardless of whether it is a man or woman being the older one. However, unfortunately you may also come upon a social double standard, where people might judge you and not bash an eyelash when it's the other way around. If you have a thick skin and are not in a hurry to get married then it's probably not much of a problem. However, it might be useful to reflect on what kind of experiences you are looking to gain. Guys in that age group usually have a very fun carefree outlook but they are unlikely to help in getting experience about what a 'mature', 'grown up' relationship is like. So overall, same as when it's the other way around but I would say that it would be a good idea to reflect on your long term life/ relationship goals from time to time. P.S. You always need to make sure that they are not minors and that you do not misrepresent yourself. That IS always creepy no matter who is involved.

as I'm getting older, I can't always tell if someone is 21 or 16. Also, my instinct is to call them "boys."

I guess that's where you have to be careful and you should always make sure you know exactly what their age is. You don't want to be crossing any lines here. As an adult, it will be YOUR responsibility to make sure you're not messing with a teen.

ETA: Also, according to your previous thread, you say something about not mentioning your real age. Please do NOT do that. Deceiving someone from the get-go will never lead to a successful relationship, (imo).

As Capricorn has said make sure your 100% sure of their age as its hard to tell these days. Can't see a problem I prefer younger men as well although I'm older than you so I go for men your age lol

I wouldn't say it's red flag for you to be attracted to someone aged 21/22/23, but I do think you need to be realistic. A lot of these young men are not necessarily interested in anything long-term, though that's not true for all of them. As long as you're on the same page with each other and there is no dishonesty, it is what it is. I am 27 and have a 5 year each way age limit, so 22 is the lowest age range I'll go to and 32 is the oldest age range. It works quite well but in my experience people in their early twenties lack the same maturity I do and have less life experience and that can present great challenges.

My friend was around 21 when he married his older wife around your age. They've been together 5 or 6 years now. I think it worked because not only was he quite mature for his age, but she was very sure about what she wanted. They both believed in it, and were the right people for each other without a doubt. I don't know that you will have the same luck in your pool. When you are choosing people for their age or attractiveness, which is NOT what happened in the case of my friend (they were friends, and then found that they were compatible, and laughed about the age difference), it might be a good idea to consider the reasons you are picking a specific age range and whether those reasons are actually sound and actually match what you think you want. Phew, that was a mouthful

TL;DR, don't worry about whether it's a red flag or not, but introspect and see if you are helping or harming your future prospects by initially being drawn mostly to a certain younger age group.

I'm in my early 20's and couldnt care less about ages, and most of my friends think the same.

I know a guy that married girl about 10 years older, they got divorced though.

I also had pretty good friend that was 30, great and fun girl.

And I think that girls are the hottest around their 30th year.

As long as you're certain they are not minors then I don't see what the big deal is.

I think I'm attracted to younger guys because men my age or older tend to be more confident and experienced, which I find intimidating. I also reject the stereotype that guys in their 20s only want sex, but at the same time they're not in a hurry to get married, which is my preference because I'm also trying to gain some experience without stepping in too deep (see my first thread for details).

I don't see the attraction as a problem, but your reasoning for it is. You don't feel good about yourself so you're using younger guys to give yourself an ego / confidence boost?

Are you upfront with these guys about your lack of emotional availability before you get involved? Is it an equitable exchange....sex for sex or are you leading them to believe there's more and then running when things start toward serious?

People shouldn't be like jobs....you don't get a starter boyfriend to get a little experience and then work your way up to management.

I'd suggest you find a better way to address your confidence / esteem issues.

I'm dating a woman who is nine years older. Her last boyfriend before me was her age. For some strange reason it would kind of creep me out and turn me off if she only went for or dated younger guys. I really haven't the slightest idea why, but it would. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a woman who is only interested in younger guys per se, but that trait would bother me in my girlfriend. Again, no clue why.

Let me clarify: I guess I'm not really going after younger guys specifically, but the two guys I've found myself really attracted to recently (as in, I could stare at them all day long) are in their early 20s, and they have similar physical features and make me wonder if part of my "type" is a youthful face.

Unfortunately you are attracted to a power differential so you feel as if you have the upper hand.

my instinct is to call them "boys." I'm attracted to younger guys because men my age or older tend to be more confident and experienced, which I find intimidating.

Unfortunately you are attracted to a power differential so you feel as if you have the upper hand.

Could work out qutie well for the young man, you know "dominant MILF" and all that. I know I liked them when I was 20. Everyone's a winner.