Super confused?!?!

I'm a bit confused as to what is happening with my girlfriend and me, so I'll explain what's gone off recently in chronological order and then explain what's puzzling me...

Me (33) and my girlfriend (31) have been going out for just over three years. She's always been territorial as far as I'm concerned (she questions every female I encounter) and deep down she's always known I've been loyal and respectful (which I have 100%). However, she's always felt resentment towards my ex wife who is also the mum of my kids (girls 9, boy 8) as my ex is a little too conversational towards me and contacts me about things that aren't necessary. I'll stress that whilst my girlfriend didn't like this, neither did I and I've always kept it as brief as possible without being rude. Anyway, my girlfriend has always been quite passionate with her feelings of discontent when she's narked at me and like everyone else we have the odd argument about silly things that goes too far and something OTT gets said. We had one of these arguments in mid-March and my girlfriend said after that she wanted a bit of timeout to be on her own so I agreed, thinking she meant a day or two, but it ended up being two weeks (we texted and rung each other everyday so it was pretty pointless). I did some thinking, so did she, we both missed each other like mad and she's pretty honest so she told me that whilst we were apart that she was meeting someone and had sex with this guy and assured me it was just a 'quick fix' and she was sorry etc... Now, I love her and told her I'd never hate her for it choose how much it killed me inside, we met two days later and although I was a bit sore we got back together and I accepted my part in making her feel a bit unwanted (she wasn't but I had took my foot off the gas) and she explained that spending more time together doing couple stuff is all she really wanted. Now, I was a bit too curious and looked at her Facebook inbox, saw messages from the guy she'd slept with and the first was logged on February 28th. I think she was unhappy and lined up the replacement before chucking me in.

Fast forward to now. Everything has been fab, better than before, but she's not as territorial over me anymore and doesn't like me posting things on social media of us two doing things or photos (she deleted him from everything without me asking her to). We go out places, for dinner, I'm more affectionate and I enjoy being this way as I never was before all this, but we've slept together once and she seems distant in an intimate way. If I try and initiate sex, she flinches and says im either annoying her or she feels poorly etc..

I'm laid in bed at night wondering if she just doesn't fancy me or love me like she thinks she does. It's possible to love somebody and not be in love with them, right? But she would rather not be alone?

Help!

She has no kids right? Unfortunately she sounds a little immature/selfish to be dating a responsible single dad.

That's why "breaks" suck, they are often a pass to screw around or take a test drive with someone. Has the cold shoulder been since then?

she's always felt resentment towards my ex wife who is also the mum of my kids. whilst we were apart that she was meeting someone and had sex with this guy. I think she was unhappy and lined up the replacement before chucking me in.

First step would be talking to her about it in a non confrontational way. See if you can resolve things that way. If not suggest counseling. A lot of times(maybe most of times) it's beyond the couples ability to resolve these things on their own without a professional third party to guide them.

She has no kids right? Unfortunately she sounds a little immature/selfish to be dating a responsible single dad.

 

That's why "breaks" suck, they are often a pass to screw around or take a test drive with someone. Has the cold shoulder been since then?

She has no kids, she's never really liked me being around her family as she says being an only child means all the focus is on her and people judge. I get what she means as I'm in the same boat and I tell my family very little if I can help it. It crossed my mind that we hit a point where a commitment issue was in progress.

She's been cold with me since then, but we just slept together once and not since then.

Are you completely sure it's over with this guy? As far as the other stuff, she's not ready for a guy with kids.

She has no kids, she says being an only child means all the focus is on her. She's been cold with me since then, but we just slept together once and not since then.

First step would be talking to her about it in a non confrontational way. See if you can resolve things that way. If not suggest counseling. A lot of times(maybe most of times) it's beyond the couples ability to resolve these things on their own without a professional third party to guide them.

In my head, I'd love to talk to her. She is very defensive and assumed the worst first, then I have to assure her I'm not being aggressive in what I'm saying. I've resorted to dropping hints like "oops sorry I brushed past you, you don't like me touching you, do you?" So I'm partly to blame, but I don't feel approaching her will do any good at the minute. I've hoped to just sit it out and carry on being the thoughtful boyfriend and just hope she comes round.

Are you completely sure it's over with this guy? As far as the other stuff, she's not ready for a guy with kids.

I'm adamant it's over with the guy she slept with, that I am sure of as we live in a town that is small and I know a lot about him. Pretty sure he was just a one-hit wonder who made her feel good for the time I didn't. If she's just switched her attention to another guy, then my guess is as good as yours, but I have to admire her honesty as I wouldn't have known had she not said anything. She approached me with it and didn't have to.

In my head, I'd love to talk to her. She is very defensive and assumed the worst first, then I have to assure her I'm not being aggressive in what I'm saying. I've resorted to dropping hints like "oops sorry I brushed past you, you don't like me touching you, do you?" So I'm partly to blame, but I don't feel approaching her will do any good at the minute. I've hoped to just sit it out and carry on being the thoughtful boyfriend and just hope she comes round.

If you can't talk about problems, your relationship is doomed no matter what. Pussie footing around hoping things will change never accomplished anything.

I know, but I just think at this stage I may ruin everything just as she's turning the corner. That's what's stopping me, so thought I'd gather some thoughts on here first and hope that like-minded people could offer a different perspective. It's all pretty new to me, as me and my ex wife parted mutually and amicably.

The fact that she slept with a man in a two week break whilst still speaking to you every day says to me that she lined him up beforehand. It speaks volumes. She sounds very immature to me. I would not take someone back if they slept with someone else in a small two week break that was supposedly to get their head together. But that's me.

The fact that she slept with a man in a two week break whilst still speaking to you every day says to me that she lined him up beforehand. It speaks volumes. She sounds very immature to me. I would not take someone back if they slept with someone else in a small two week break that was supposedly to get their head together. But that's me.

That was my initial reaction and I said to her "If you think he can make you happy then you have to see if it'll work out" as I love her enough to want her to be happy even if it means it isn't with me. What upset her was that I'd been great about it all and she said "why can't you be an ass like most people?!" Which basically is like saying I am not making it easy for her to justify it to herself. She claimed she just wanted to feel wanted by somebody and I'd shut off prior to all this. I was just really busy with work and had a lot on my mind at the time.

There is still no excuse for her to cheat on you. It clearly wasn't a break because you still spoke every day so yeah, it was technically cheating. My ex ended up with a friend of mine very soon after he left me and I was really angry but in the end I was calm and told him goodbye and kept my dignity. I have never seen or spoken to him since and I do not want to be his friend.

If she doesn't want to have sex with you anymore there is a problem. If you want to sort this out you will need to maybe get some counselling together. if you don't the lack of intimacy will just push you further apart.

Anyone else got any thoughts? Thanks for the opinions so far, it's appreciated greatly.