Ex is acting weird..

Me and my ex broke up around three weeks ago. We have two children aged two and five. We hadn’t been getting along for a while, and both of us wert happy. Her problem with me was I haven’t been able to get a job since I’ve left university, id gotten into a bit of a rut, and my mood wasn’t great a lot of the time. My problem with her was she put her social life in front of her family life. She would go out with friend, and come back basically whenever she felt like it, while I was left with the children that night, and usually the next day when she wasn’t fit to look after them.

So we broke up and I moved out. The first couple of days we were still talking, but I decided to go no contact, or as much no contact as possible with two kids involved. It was difficult because I get the kids more or less every day for at least a few hours. So over the last few days we have started talking again, not about are relationship, just general chit chat. The thing is, she keeps asking me to come over, and she wants me to sit in the house with the children rather than taking them with me. She seem to be up to something, but I cant figure out what it is. I don’t know if she wants me around because she is missing me, or if she is looking to set up an opportunity to talk to me, or if it’s for some other reason.

I still love her, and I miss her but any time we have fallen out in the past it has always been me that starts the ‘peace talks’. If I didn’t it would go on forever because she will do anything, or say anything to avoid conflict, or even to avoid getting into a situation where there’s a possibility of conflict. So this time, I’m not doing it, if she wants to talk to me she needs to step up. I’m willing to let her go if she can’t, because if I keep doing it then I don’t know if it’s really what she wants or if its just because I cleared the air. Also I think if we ever do get back together she needs to know how to sit down and talk about issues.

I don’t know.. I’m confused and not thinking clearly at the minute. Would love an outside perspective. Any thoughts??

They're your kids you're the father. If you want to take them out, it's up to you. What does she want to talk about while you're there? General chit-chat? The kids? Agree that visiting/picking up your kids should not be seen by her as a round-about way to talk with you about things. it cuts into time with your kids and it's adult talk not kids talk.

she wants me to sit in the house with the children rather than taking them with me. I think if we ever do get back together she needs to know how to sit down and talk about issues.

Me and my ex broke up around three weeks ago. We have two children aged two and five. We hadn’t been getting along for a while, and both of us wert happy. Her problem with me was I haven’t been able to get a job since I’ve left university, id gotten into a bit of a rut, and my mood wasn’t great a lot of the time. My problem with her was she put her social life in front of her family life. She would go out with friend, and come back basically whenever she felt like it, while I was left with the children that night, and usually the next day when she wasn’t fit to look after them.

I'm confused here. What's wrong with being left with the children sometimes? You are their dad, not a babysitter. Plus, you weren't working. You make it sound like you were put out taking care of your kids.

Of course her drinking to getting drunk isn't good but I just found that part a little odd.

I think you should focus on getting work before even considering getting back together.

The problem was it wasn’t ‘sometimes’, it was all the time. I didn’t mind her going out every once in a while, but we have two young children and they went her priority. She would also come in very drunk, falling and breaking things in the house including a shower door once, and passing out wherever she could make it to, the stairs the floor, wherever.

Have a talk just tell her you'd Talk her back if she slowdown/stop drinking and parting. Or ask her if she has or when is she planing on stopping or give her some kinda clue that you don't like it also get her interested in you more buy getting a job. Maybe there was some reasons why she did that.