is he into me or nah?

Hello,

I got single 7 months ago and ended my contact with my ex for good 4 months ago, it ended very badly and my ex turned out to be a complete psycho underneath his perfect surface and I had to leave. I didn't think I would fall in love ever again in a very long time, especially since he was my first real boyfriend, but then I got to know this guy.. turns out he's pretty complicated, and mysterious though. But hopefully not a psycho like my ex lol.

I was on this dating website just for fun and got contact with this guy, we share so many common interests and he is really handsome and funny but I don't quite "get" him.. We talked a lot in the beginning and he wanted to meet so I said sure and told him I was going out that very same day and he asked me if I wanted to meet up, otherwise he would probably just go do something else and in the end we didn't decide anything but I said that maybe we'll see each other around + told him where I was going but he didn't show up.. I kinda took it as though he wasn't very interested and didn't speak to him the next day when he wrote me and a week passed I guess and then I took up our contact again since I just couldn't find anyone else I felt any emotions at all for other than disinterest and I realized how much I liked this guy, not sure why though. I even noticed that I wasn't missing my ex anymore.. We spoke an entire night, eventually we skyped a few times and he is ALWAYS so short in text and mostly sound pretty grumpy or careless but when I saw him on cam he looked so happy to see me (which happily surprised me) and we talked for hours everytime, we got such a great connection that I felt like never hanging up although I usually have huge problems talking on skype, I can barely relax enough to speak to a good friend on cam for more than 5 minutes lol. With other words I feel really relaxed with this guy.

One day I didn't hear from him at all since I didn't start any convo because I wanted to see if he was going to say something first which barely ever happens, the day after that he told me that he was going to stay off social media for a while and just spend time out in the nature like he often does and that he thought I might wanna know that and then he said he was tired (although it wasn't very late) and then logged off after saying he's not sure when we'll talk again but that we will. He returns online after about a week and I am the one who says hello first I guess in a fear that he wouldn't which would make me feel really dissed and saddened (it was probably a bad idea though..), we talk for a bit and I try to show my interest as usual, giving some compliments even and he kinda goes oh wow how flattering haha.. and then he just stays quiet until he says "i'm gonna go, see ya" and logs off again before I even get a chance to answer. And I am so confused now???? Is he interested at all or nah?? Is he just shy or does he not care?? Because he does seem as though he likes me (+he was actually the one who started our contact) but at the same time he's just acting so weird, almost as though he's avoiding me? I was thinking that maybe he prefers talking in person which he actually told me he does once but then said it's up to me when I am available but now it doesn't feel right to ask if he still wants to meet up since he's been gone so much lately.. I don't wanna seem pushy..

I need to know because that's just who I am, I won't be able to let it go until I know for sure how HE feels. Maybe I should just ask him? Ask if he wants to get to know me more or nah.. And if he doesn't know I suppose that that is a no.. and in that case i'll let go. But I just need to know, I don't know how though. If only I could get a chance to meet him face to face.. I could see how he acts and see if we get along as much as we do online. I'm sorry if I sound obsessive, I probably am since wow I have feels for someone again lol..

Well, so yeash some advice would be greatly apprecieted since I kind of don't have anyone to talk to about this kinda stuff.. Thanks!

He's not into you. You may never know why. Move on, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

One more vote for not into you. Except from those first times, you've been the one doing all the initiating..and, no, he's not shy. He had no problem saying he wanted to meet you when he did.

Alright, if you say so! Pfft. He's not given me a chance though and i'm getting my date. Then we'll see. . And Miss Marple, i've pretty much always intiaited contact, from the beginning so yeah. We still talked for hours and had fun.

Thanks for the feedback though guyss!

And Miss Marple, i've pretty much always intiaited contact, from the beginning so yeah. We still talked for hours and had fun.

You might have been to one to have initiated contact at first but he was the one who asked you to meet first. That's what I meant.

Aha yeahyeah that's true, he said he prefers talking in real life and then told me to tell him when i'm available because he is available anytime. But I figured, since he didn't show up when I told him where I was going to be that day, that he didn't mean it and then we didn't speak for a while so you know.. I totally get why he hasn't brought it back up. It's my turn now lol, he took the first step or whatever you call it. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding, he thinks i'm not interested in meeting him because I haven't brought it up ? Idk, and um I didn't talk to him the day after he brought it up, it was after that day I stopped talking to him for a while so.. Therefore I was thinking of maybe bringing it up again but in a casual way to not make it sound like a "date" in case he for some reason isn't ready to date or whatever, neither of us were on the dating website for a relationship after all, just chatting and making new friendships. And I totally get him in that case because I got single so recently myself y'know.. Anyways if we're ever gonna meet it'll probably be up to me, like he said back then. You can't know if someone is worth your time anyways until you've seen how well you go together irl so like why not, it's not a big deal, we live in the same town so it's not like someone has to travel a long way or something lol.

Unfortunately it sounds like he is wasting your time and dating others. He never actually asked you out on a date .

it doesn't feel right to ask if he still wants to meet up since he's been gone so much lately.

Unfortunately it sounds like he is wasting your time and dating others. He never actually asked you out on a date .

Lol sorry but it's obvious you don't know him at all. He's kind of a loner, just like me, he doesn't even like being in the city and he hates parties and that kind of stuff. He's not dating around, it's possible that he's met somebody else though but in that case I will find out soon and that's OK, I totally get that. He doesn't like social media, that's kinda odd but y'know I like that so yeah.

And I know he didn't ask me on a date, like I wrote neither of us are looking for a relationship right now it seems but I know that if I find somebody I like I am prepared to invest in a relationship, if he is idk.

If you honestly believe he's into you but won't meet you...enjoy the cyber-contact.

I know he didn't ask me on a date

Ugh, everything doesn't have to be a "date", WISEMAN. Two people can hang out together without calling it a "DATE", I don't like that word either and i'm a casual person and date sounds wayy too fancy or whatever anyways. But just hanging out together, talking like 2 friends that's cool. It could turn into more than friendship, or it could stay a friendship. Whatever y'know.

Does he even ask to do this?

just hanging out together, talking like 2 friends that's cool.

Yeeeah he have, he wanted to but he wanted me to tell him when, I guess because he took the first step so now he wants me to take the next onee. It was like 3 weeks ago though, I stopped talking to him when he didn't show up that one time when I told him that maybe we'd see each other around that day and we didn't and I don't know how he took that because I kinda ignored his hello the next day so yeah... if he's shy or insecure or something then maybe he just didn't get it. Idk, i'm gonna ask him if he's still interested in meeting up and hopefully he's honest y'know.. I can take rejection, i'd take that anydaaay over another liar. And if he says yes then i'll just make as much of a good first impression I can and then hope for the best lol. But if I notice too much disinterest i'll leave him alone after that unless he contiunes making any kind of effort to keep our contact. I mean, couldn't hurt to ask him right ? We're like friends by now so..

That's the only way to find out.

I mean, couldn't hurt to ask him right ?

Great! I just don't wanna be pushy you know lol, but i've been afraid of that my entire life and that has brought me literally nowhere so i'm planning on changing my ways. I like this guy for some reason so yeah, i'm gonna ask him! Even if he says no I will know.. and then I can let it go so that's great..

Great! I just don't wanna be pushy you know lol, but i've been afraid of that my entire life and that has brought me literally nowhere so i'm planning on changing my ways. I like this guy for some reason so yeah, i'm gonna ask him! Even if he says no I will know.. and then I can let it go so that's great..

He's not into you. All you would be pushy for is friendship so it's not a big deal.

UPDATE: FYI: anyone who said he's not into me was WRRROOONG. We're dating now, seriously, and he is super into me, he was just really shy!

Thanks for the help guyysss.