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Teacher/Doctor May be hitting on me???


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A lot of intense spiritual coincidences have happened between us but I've realized that, over time, some of his comments have been slightly impulsive/sexual in passing.

 

I'm in my mid twenties and he's in his late thirties. We formed a great teacher/student bond so I trusted him enough to adjust my spine as my doctor. However, I can see that he has changed over the past few months. He made a comment during my first professional visit with him that my hips were flexible "but I bet I hear that everyday." (He's a DO and was assessing me) then during the adjustment my hand hit his belt buckle when he was adjusting my arm. I had a body/mind/spirit emotional release during the session. He told me I was perfect just the way I was. He had said (the following week) we could talk after class about spiritual stuff. I agreed and we wound up talking about my daughter's father/my ex harassing me about a new custody arrangement instead. I cried. That's it. I went to share his hand in thanks but he said "no we give hugs here". We hugged. I made it quick.

 

Nothing strange was said again aside from when in class we were finding SCM muscles and he looked at me, made eye contact, then looked around the class and said "we have some beautiful SCM's in the classroom... But I bet you hear that all the time." Then it was pretty casual/normal. We talked about music and a few other spiritual topics/school stuff during subsequent visits.

 

Then, a few days ago I came in for a follow up. I tell him I had a cold and I'm sorry if I have to sneeze/cough during the adjustment. He then proceeded to tell me of his weekend brush with a tick in a "very personal area" I immediately blurted out something about Lyme disease and he explained the difference between various ticks. I ignored this strange of-topic comment and proceeded to choose him for my faculty massage this summer. We conversed through email. He accepted immediately.

 

It's so strange cause I feel he's quietly and subliminally been hinting at a romantic pass. Maybe he wants attention. It just seems with that most recent remark that something may be going on because of the (obvious) boundary crossing. Either way I know he means no harm to me, but it's... Strange!

 

I love him very much and respect him and want him to be happy.

 

Please help!

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You say he's a teacher/doctor. Can you specify? What was his field of studies. Does he have any diploma's or any other accreditation from licenced institutions? Does he have any supervisors who monitor him? Who taught him what he knows and what is this based on? Is there any theoretical background to his 'treatment'? I'm going to assume the answer to most of these questions will not paint a positive picture.

 

From my experience, anyone who calls himself a teacher or doctor of any kind, but lacks the education and background to justify his claims, is a fraud and possibly a predator. Your story shows him crossing some serious boundaries and ignoring clear guidelines on appropriate conduct for a professional. It makes me feel uncomfortable to read it. I'd advise you to find some other mentor, but this time to do a more thorough background check.

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It sounds like you are way to emotionally attached to him because he showed some compassion and you are looking at him to fill emotional needs, be a therapist, a professor, a healer and now a love interest. Google and read up on: Transference.

I love him very much
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Yes I have heard of transference and counter transference. I'm in the healthcare field as well.

 

I had a talk with another professional and we agreed that it's possible he's having a midlife crisis. I'm not looking for him to fulfil any need - I love him just as I love all my other teachers/mentors. I'm a highly living spiritual being as most here on this campus are - we love freely and without expectation so that is why his comments bother me. I worry for him as a human being.

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Maybe he is into this as well, hence all the hugs and spiritual, emotional stuff coming from him. But that is beside the point, you have a crush on him right? so all this "spiritual love that everyone gives so freely on this campus", may be misinterpreted as the feelings being mutual.

I'm a highly living spiritual being as most here on this campus are - we love freely and without expectation
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You say he's a teacher/doctor. Can you specify? What was his field of studies. Does he have any diploma's or any other accreditation from licenced institutions? Does he have any supervisors who monitor him? Who taught him what he knows and what is this based on? Is there any theoretical background to his 'treatment'? I'm going to assume the answer to most of these questions will not paint a positive picture.

 

From my experience, anyone who calls himself a teacher or doctor of any kind, but lacks the education and background to justify his claims, is a fraud and possibly a predator. Your story shows him crossing some serious boundaries and ignoring clear guidelines on appropriate conduct for a professional. It makes me feel uncomfortable to read it. I'd advise you to find some other mentor, but this time to do a more thorough background check.

 

He's a DO, doctor of osteopathy. Not sure if you have them in your country but here in the US, they much similar to traditional MDs. They go to osteopathic schools for the same length of time, learn a lot of the same stuff, and also do residency. They have the exact same privileges. So he's a medical dr.

 

OP, I think he's using his position of power to get close to you. It sounds a little predatory but you're eating it all up.

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should I confront him then? I don't want trouble.

 

No need to make things awkward. I would just keep it professional. Don't go to him after class to talk about personal/spiritual things. Remain polite but don't respond to him if he makes a joke about your body parts being beautiful or whatever.

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Spiritual topics and practices can be great and it makes me angry when people use them as a way to be perverted. Look at weird cults and how they justified child marriages, molestation, and even rape with their own form of "spirituality". Always be careful when someone ties in spirituality with sensuality and intimacy, especially someone that you're not in a secure, trusting committed relationship with.

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Excellent. It may just be boundaries issues, but given the touchy-feely vibe on campus this is probably best.

I canceled my future appointment. I think maybe I'm over analyzing but just to be sure... I'm nipping it in the bud before anymore limbs arise.
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