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Who is in the wrong?


skater9

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This person isn't really a "friend" she is 24+ years older than me. I have a feeling I'm getting taken advantage of because of my age. I started working for her in March so almost 2 months long. I babysit for her for 11 hours a week and she gives me $70 for that. I know this isn't my business(but she had mentioned it, I've never brought it up). Her husband works 12 hours each day and gets $30 an hour, they don't live in a huge house or anything, just a medium sized one. Well she hasn't worked in 12 years(she told me) she has been in college for those 12 years. I babysit for her, she has a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I also have to make them food and clean up for her I never just "sit there, while I'm watching them I constantly interact with them because they both never sit still. She is starting back up with school again taking 3 to 4 classes, so now she wants me 25 to 30 hours a week, she had asked me how much I want I said "Well for 25-30 hours, I need at least $160." She then told me "Oh, couldn't you do like $90 to $100 instead?" I never chose $70 for when I started doing 11 hours for her. I told her, "No I can't do that." She also told me she spends $170 on getting her hair cut every 2 weeks(again, I didn't ask any of that she had just brought it up). The other thing is she really wants a job after she is done with her college(she told me) she was supposed to have an interview today, but she told me she texted the person and said "I refuse to work for you if you don't give me $15 an hour." Who is in the wrong?

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Neither of you.

You are entitled to request the amount of money you desire for your services.

Her personal finances and lifestyle are not really your business. I am not sure why you know so much about it.

She made you a counter offer which is within her right. It's up to you to decide whether it's fair or not.

And you are correct. She is not your friend, she is your employer.

 

What are you going to decide?

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Ever heard of a piss match? Trying to figure out who is wrong or right = piss match. It's irrelevant and pointless, it often causes further conflict and stains ANY relationship.

 

What you need to focus on is how you work together to put out the fire, resolve the problem and the main focus, GET ALONG.

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Look online what the going rate is for that in your area. Stick to your price, it doesn't matter what she makes, does, spends on etc. Negotiate from the position of what you are offering, providing and worth, not what she can afford.

"Well for 25-30 hours, I need at least $160."
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Neither of you.

You are entitled to request the amount of money you desire for your services.

Her personal finances and lifestyle are not really your business. I am not sure why you know so much about it.

She made you a counter offer which is within her right. It's up to you to decide whether it's fair or not.

And you are correct. She is not your friend, she is your employer.

 

What are you going to decide?

 

 

I know so much about her, because she is constantly talking about it/ and telling me. Without me even asking her questions such as that.

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Umm... why does it matter, you already have your answer? She told you how much she's willing to pay, and its not enough for you. That's that.

 

It matters because in the contract/ when I started in March/ she said it would ALWAYS be at $8.50 an hour. So it does kind of matter....

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The going rate is $13.00 in my area, I said to her I'd be fine with $9.00 hourly or what was in the contract/ $8.50/ when I had first started. But she hasn't really been following through with her contract we signed in the beginning....

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I know so much about her, because she is constantly talking about it/ and telling me. Without me even asking her questions such as that.

 

Well then to answer your original question, Who's right or wrong? Neither. It's just a difference of opinion.

Are the negotiations closed or are you still trying to work on a compromise. She is asking you to work more than twice the hours.

More than twice the pay is reasonable.

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Ever heard of a piss match? Trying to figure out who is wrong or right = piss match. It's irrelevant and pointless, it often causes further conflict and stains ANY relationship.

 

What you need to focus on is how you work together to put out the fire, resolve the problem and the main focus, GET ALONG.

 

In what way would you suggest doing that? In the written contract when I first started with her in March, said she would pay $8.50 hourly but she hasn't followed through. I have brought this up with her, but she quickly changes the conversation. Happened 4 times with her already.

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What is going rate for babysitting in your area? What is your age? Are you using this as an income or live with parents? What training do you have? What they make at their jobs and how much she pays to get her hair done is totally irrelevant.

 

The going rate in my area is $13.00 but I had told her/ a few times already/ that I'd be perfectly fine with $9.00 an hour or the original $8.50 an hour which was in our written contract in March. I'm a teen. And no, just using this money for things I have to have money for. I have been babysitting for 4 years. Well, I agree but she was the one who kept saying all of that to me. Like she keeps talking about personal info such as that with me, without me even bringing it up.

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In what way would you suggest doing that? In the written contract when I first started with her in March, said she would pay $8.50 hourly but she hasn't followed through. I have brought this up with her, but she quickly changes the conversation. Happened 4 times with her already.

 

She does it because she can. You need to tell her to honor your agreement or you will need to find another job.

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Well then to answer your original question, Who's right or wrong? Neither. It's just a difference of opinion.

Are the negotiations closed or are you still trying to work on a compromise. She is asking you to work more than twice the hours.

More than twice the pay is reasonable.

 

I've been trying to. I even said I would have to cut down on some hours for only $90 a week. She told me she wasn't sure now, she also said just now "I'm only using you because day care is too expensive." She told me her oldest son got kicked out of daycare because she wasn't giving them the full amount. How much more would you say is reasonable? Negotiations aren't closed yet she said she will think it over.

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The going rate in my area is $13.00 but I had told her/ a few times already/ that I'd be perfectly fine with $9.00 an hour or the original $8.50 an hour which was in our written contract in March. I'm a teen. And no, just using this money for things I have to have money for. I have been babysitting for 4 years. Well, I agree but she was the one who kept saying all of that to me. Like she keeps talking about personal info such as that with me, without me even bringing it up.

OK ,but you have training to bring to the table? CPR , First Aid, Home Alone course.., things like that.

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Put your conditions on paper and give it her.

She'll either take it or not.

My guess is she'll have a hard time to find a babysitter for that price. . especially one that she already trusts and has a relationship with.

 

Will try that. Apparently before she found me as a sitter, her oldest son was in daycare. She told me he got kicked out because she kept refusing to pay them the full amount/ or would pay them later than when they needed it/.

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Will try that. Apparently before she found me as a sitter, her oldest son was in daycare. She told me he got kicked out because she kept refusing to pay them the full amount/ or would pay them later than when they needed it/.

 

Her non payment and not honoring agreements seem to be a pattern with not only you, but family and daycares.

I imagine you can probably find a better arrangement with more pay if you looked around.

She doesn't sound like someone you can trust.

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Look online what the going rate is for that in your area. Stick to your price, it doesn't matter what she makes, does, spends on etc. Negotiate from the position of what you are offering, providing and worth, not what she can afford.

 

Going rate for my town, is $13.00 an hour. I told her I could do $9.00 an hour or stick with the $8.50 an hour which was in the contract originally when I first started. The contract has not changed she just hasn't been sticking to it. How much more would you negotiate if you were in my situation?

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Going rate for my town, is $13.00 an hour. I told her I could do $9.00 an hour or stick with the $8.50 an hour which was in the contract originally when I first started. The contract has not changed she just hasn't been sticking to it. How much more would you negotiate if you were in my situation?

 

By the looks of it, you can ask for whatever you want and she may even agree. But if she has a pattern of not honoring her agreements she'll likely continue to take advantage of you.

I'd look for work else where.

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By the looks of it, you can ask for whatever you want and she may even agree. But if she has a pattern of not honoring her agreements she'll likely continue to take advantage of you.

I'd look for work else where.

 

Alright. I'll try that

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