The double standard of jealousy and control

Just venting here but I've noticed a huge double standard when it comes to jealousy and control in relationships. My personal opinion on relationships and what is okay to do in one has to be looked at on a relationship to relationship basis. You can't say this is how every relationship needs to be, and this is what everyone in a relationship needs to be okay with and that be the end of the story. What I mean by this is certain boundaries and expectations should be agreed on by both people before things get serious. Things such as talking to exes, flirting, hanging out with the opposite sex alone, ect.. Once you figure out and agree on what you expect from one another then you should base your relationship off of these and live by them. I have seen so many times when a guy says he doesn't talk to exes and expects his girlfriend not to either, the guy gets blasted and labeled as a controlling jerk. I've also seen so many times a girl saying my boyfriend wants to know who I'm with and what I'm doing when I'm out with friends . Then the boyfriend once again gets s*** thrown on his name and called a stalker. Women are so quick to say a man is controlling and that he will eventually turn violent if you don't run away as soon as you can. Yet when I see these same situations flipped and I read about girls exhibiting the same behavior, the majority of responses are sympathetic towards the female. It seems that most of the time when a girlfriend shows jealousy or controlling behavior it is shrugged off and people more often than not accuse and ask what the man did to make her behave this way. I have seen a lot of "is he controlling" articles shared and I have to say most of the "signs" seem ridiculous. Some of the major ones being him not wanting you to talk to exes or wanting to know what you are doing and who you're with. To me talking to exes is a no Brainer. You shouldn't do it and it is a deal breaker to me. But again if it's agreed on before hand that you are friends with exes and you want to still keep in touch with them then that is your right to do so. The worst one to me is the getting upset and calling your boyfriend controlling for asking what you're doing and who you're with. This is more of a respect thing whether it's the boyfriend or girlfriend. Let them know what's going on so they don't worry. Why is it so bad to want to know what your girlfriend is out doing. I'm not saying every second 24-7 but why is it a problem to want to know how her night is going when you aren't around? Why would you want to make your boyfriend worry by ignoring texts as long as it isn't 20 texts in an hour asking the same question. I see nothing wrong with a couple texts throughout the night. Especially when I see women do the same thing and it gets shrugged off as caring. These are just a few short and generic examples. Just want to see if anyone else noticed this and thinks it's wrong?

Women get the insecure/jealous label for this stuff. Isn't this more about a power struggle and who's right and who's rules will be followed?

I'm not saying they don't get the label. I'm saying it isn't taken as as serious of a problem when it's the woman. Men get labeled and ridiculed much more harshly. As for a power struggle I'm not sure what you mean. If something is agreed on before hand Noone should be called controlling male or female for expecting the other to hold up their end.

I am of the belief that two people mold and train their long term partners into what works best for them. If this doesn't happen, the relationship fails. Relationships are all about respect, compromise, and deferred wishes for the greater good of the relationship. Some people do that well, some don't.

Could be, men may have to toe the line more so they aren't labeled creepy

Men get labeled and ridiculed much more harshly.

I'm not saying they don't get the label. I'm saying it isn't taken as as serious of a problem when it's the woman. Men get labeled and ridiculed much more harshly.

I don't know where you've been reading to come to that conclusion. I base my response on the circumstances of the situation and it really doesn't matter what the sex of the person happens to be.

Personally, I don't really care - or even feel a need - to worry about things like this. I have enough on my plate like my own marriage, my job and doing things which my wife and I enjoy in our free time.

Personally, I don't really care - or even feel a need - to worry about things like this. I have enough on my plate like my own marriage, my job and doing things which my wife and I enjoy in our free time.

But you had time to read my long venting post and also took the time to comment how little time you have for stuff like this....lol. Don't let your actions contradict your words there guy. Go ahead and put that advice towards your marriage too...