Specifically for the male dumpers

I just need some male perspective

Did you ever leave what was quite possibly the best girlfriend (at least on paper) that you've ever had?

Did you regret it? If so, how soon afterwards?

Did you still love her?

Would you avoid them at all costs? And if so, why?

I know you are searching the tea leaves for answers, but I really hope you aren't wondering why your druggie/moocher ex cut off contact.

Did you ever leave what was quite possibly the best girlfriend (at least on paper) that you've ever had?

Definitely

Did you regret it? If so, how soon afterwards?

I did, it took until my next relationship was on the rocks to realise.

Did you still love her?

I guess I realised I still had feelings for her, but I'm not sure I loved her as much as she deserved.

Would you avoid them at all costs? And if so, why?

No, I'd have no reason to avoid them. She lives far away from me now, so it's not an issue

Yeah, most definitely. The problem for me was that I met her too young (I was 14, we stayed together until we were 23) and I'd never been good to her. I put her through hell, and she still stayed put. I met the next girl while I was still with her, and fell deeply in love and knew that I couldn't keep treating my current partner in that way. When the next girl left me, I realised what I'd lost in the first one. I don't want to get back with her, but I hate that she's no longer a part of my life, and I wish I could go back in time and do it all differently but, alas, I can't. Just keep on keeping on. If you gave it your all, you did the right thing, no matter how that manifested itself. Be lucky!

I know you are searching the tea leaves for answers, but I really hope you aren't wondering why your druggie/moocher ex cut off contact.

Unfortunately... It just really messed with my self worth. I have been doing ok-ish but yesterday I went to the bus stop to go downtown at the worst possible time because he was across the street at his dad's apartment. He saw my friend and I and than his dad came up to bum a cigarette and said "yeah 'J' said he wasn't going to come over here because he saw you." Like what have I ever done so terrible to him?

Like what have I ever done so terrible to him?

Nothing. It's because seeing you makes him feel guilty. He is avoiding you in order to avoid feeling guilty.

Did you ever leave what was quite possibly the best girlfriend (at least on paper) that you've ever had?

Yes. My first girlfriend. Guess she was the best at the time by default.

Did you regret it? If so, how soon afterwards?

No.

Did you still love her?

No more than any other friend.

Would you avoid them at all costs? And if so, why?

No, because I was over it. If they were the type to make a scene I might.

No because drugs and an addicted dysfunctional family have never been part of my life that would take precedence over that

Did you ever leave what was quite possibly the best girlfriend that you've ever had?

No because drugs and an addicted dysfunctional family have never been part of my life that would take precedence over that

Yeah Wiseman, my ex was also a drug addict and he said that he would never find someone better than me...what happened was that he broke up with me, so it seems that it doesn't matter if you are the best they can have.

so it seems that it doesn't matter if you are the best they can have.

Of course it doesn't matter to them, they don't even care about themselves and their well being, they are too depressed to do so. Most likely, the more good you are for them, the more they will try to get you out of their lives.

Dani i'm so sorry you are still feeling like this. I know that soon you will understand that he is not good for you. It's hard, but hang in there! Take a deep breath and stick to no contact!! Meanwhile focus on loving yourself! Think about what YOU want in your life, regardless if he is in it!!

Hugs!!

The dad sounds like a divisive troublemaker...just like the rest of the gang. Unfortunately the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

his dad came up to bum a cigarette and said "yeah 'J' said he wasn't going to come over here because he saw you."

They want you to apologize and bust out your wallet and start handing out cash.

Nothing's changed, but that's no surprise.

You're well rid of the whole lot of them.

I think the only time I was outright the dumper was in high school. Definitely not a good girlfriend, no regrets, no feelings of love, and didn't avoid them but made no attempt to keep in touch. The rest of the times were either getting dumped, mutual, and one who pulled the break bs.