How do you chose a great cat for a pet?

Hello, fellow eNotAlone community members.

I've been struggling with finding a pet cat, and thought I would ask advice from anyone who has a great cat and can suggest how I could select one for myself?

I am looking for an older cat that is friendly, likes to be pet, and does not run away from anyone new who enters the room. Preferably, the cat purrs. Also preferable the cat does not scratch when you pick it up, and might even sit on your lap for a while.

My approach so far has been to look at local humane society locations and animal shelters. I've gone online to Petfinder.com where they include write-ups of the cat's personality traits. However, each time I go, the cat is not as they were described, not social at all. I've experienced the cats remaining inside their enclosure after it is opened for me to meet them, hiding under chairs when they do walk out, squirming to be let down if I pick them up, and one even bit me when I was petting it's cheek. Note - my hand did not bleed, and the bite fortunately did not break the skin. Anyway, I am now educating myself on cat behavior so I can be a good cat-mom.

I found one cute kitty last month, so I submitted the application to the related organization called "PAAWS". They contacted me and told me my application was approved. After a few days, they emailed me that the cat had already been adopted by someone else, and to keep checking for others. Possibly poor processing on this organization's part, so my search continues.

Does anyone tips on what to look for in a cat to ensure you are choosing a social cat accepting of human companionship?

Thanks for your advice.

Someone gave me a great tip once. Whether it's a puppy or kitten, turn it on it's back (still holding it safely) and see how it responds.

I have used this and it works really well.

Timid ones will fight you and ones that are trusting in nature with a good disposition will allow you do it.

One of my cats purred when I turned her upside down and just laid there. Keeper!! She's a sweet heart.

It's not the only thing to look for naturally, but I think it's a great tool.

A friend of mine who is really good with cats wanted a new one. She went to a shelter and while taking her time with the cats, one of them laying near her placed his paw on her foot. She prefers to think he picked her and not the other way around!

"Jack" is a pretty special boy.

It's just a sense and a connection . . much like dating! You just kinda know

You have to understand that cats take a while to warm up to people. Cats take a while to form a trust bond with people. Cats also remember what has happened in their life and have a good long memory some say up to about 10 years. Cats are also easily stressed by new environments. So a few days is not going to give you the true personality of a cat. You need to give a cat an adequate amount of time to flourish . Some cats do not like to be picked up but they don't mind being pet. Some cats don't like visitors but enjoy their " person". You're not going to find all the qualities that you want in one cat. Pick a few that are your absolute top qualities.

Also if you own a cat you are going to get scratched a few times that's just going to happen. This should not upset or worry you.

I have had cats all my life and currently own three.

I think PAAWS is a good place to start because you are getting a cat that has been in foster care. I would think the foster home would have a better idea of the cat's personality as opposed to one that is kept in a shelter cage. Can you tell them what you are looking for and ask to be put on a waiting list?

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These are two that I adopted from my vet three years ago. My vet also does animal rescue. They are a pair of polydactyly twin brothers. One is very cheeky brash gets into a lot of trouble because he's too curious for his own good. The other is very shy timid and only loves mama.

I have two cats now and have had many over the years. They are aloof by nature, most dont come up to you looking to be picked up. They need to check you out and get a vibe from you as to what kind of person you are, just like you are checking them out to see what they are like. If you do come across one that's instantly friendly, that's great, but also not too common. I applaud you for wanting an older cat, but remember it knows what it's past is, and you dont. Dont dismiss a cat quickly if it doesnt appear friendly right away. It takes time.

I have two cats now and have had many over the years. They are aloof by nature, most dont come up to you looking to be picked up. They need to check you out and get a vibe from you as to what kind of person you are, just like you are checking them out to see what they are like. If you do come across one that's instantly friendly, that's great, but also not too common. I applaud you for wanting an older cat, but remember it knows what it's past is, and you dont. Dont dismiss a cat quickly if it doesnt appear friendly right away. It takes time.

Exactly I would take an older cat again. We adopted an eight-year-old cat from the Humane Society and he turned out to be the best cat we've ever had. He was surrendered because his family couldn't handle his medical bills but he was just the most outstanding cat anybody could ever have. He was half Maine coon and I think that's why he was so outstanding. Older cats do have a hard time being rehomed.

And yes , cats do need time to form a trust bond.

Cats are not the same as dogs. Just love those cats!! Always been a cat person.

On seeing you for first time of course those poor cats hid. Normal reaction. They take a while to get used to new owner not to mention new home.

Once when we moved house the cat hid for three days in the airing cupboard, and refused to come out lol.

Don't bother with the online searches. Just stop by shelters and look at the cats they have. Lucky for you, you actually want a grown cat. Not only are there a ton of them who are perfectly social but needed to be surrendered, but they're typically free to adopt as well. The cat my girlfriend got wasn't listed online for the ASPCA, but we found her when we went in. She's what I like to call an "idiot fart face," but she's got her quirks. She's 6 years old but still looks kinda like a kitty. Meet Comanche:

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And if you don't find a cat you click with, make a few different trips at different times. Especially with it being kitty season, you're getting a lot of cats and kittens coming in pretty routinely. Also, try to go in earlier during the day. The cats usually are emotionally exhausted by the afternoon, so they're not as friendly nor their normal selves.

Yes, cats are not dogs. They are much more subtle.

Aww. What a lovely cat, JMan. Sweeeet.

My cat (who was SUPPOSED to be my kids' cat but somehow ended up with me ) was (and is) very timid. She hid from everyone at the adoption event. Except, when my son approached her cage she went up to him and rubbed her chin on his hand. So, I too think she "chose" him. And he fell in love with her.

She has very gradually warmed up. She now climbs into my lap, but it took about 4 years before she'd do that! She is less timid and more trusting. And for some reason she loves repairmen. Flirts shamelessly with them, although she hides when other company comes over.

So yes, cats can take a while to warm up. But while they are not as social or typically "loyal" the way dogs are, they love their people and tend to want to spend time cuddling with their companions.

Neutered male. Go to a shelter and play with the kittens. Let one choose you.

No such thing as a great cat. Get a dog instead.

Personally I prefer male cats. Neutered male cats are very loving I have found. Like I said I have three neutered male cats and they all get along very well.

The thing about cats is that it's almost impossible to know in advance how they will behave, once in your home. They are pretty fragile creatures really, they need time to adapt to places/people and trust, very few cats would just come out of their kennel and rub themselves off people they don't know.

I have had cats all my life, and have a couple currently, and I have never had a cat I didn't get along with. I never got to choose any of them, I either found them abandoned in boxes as kittens (ranging from one day old to 2-3 weeks old), or they chose me (one of my current cats showed up in my back yard 4 years ago and forced himself in my house, giving me no choice but to adopt him lol).

Barring a few exceptions, like the cats you see on "My Cat from Hell", most cats are great, they have their own unique personalities and given time, they are easy to work with and love. Some will love being handled and held and will be all over you no matter what you do, some will be more stand offish, some will purr more, some less, some will bite, some won't, but I don't think there is a way to know what's going to be until you have lived with the cat for a while. It's the luck of the draw really

"The Tiger in the Parlour".

A great documentary about or dear domestic moggies.....

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Xena, Warrior Princess

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Macy (Peepers)

Personally I prefer male cats. Neutered male cats are very loving I have found. Like I said I have three neutered male cats and they all get along very well.

I prefer males too. The ones I've known are quirky and confident.

I have two girls right now. They lean more to the timid, neurotic side

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These are two that I adopted from my vet three years ago. My vet also does animal rescue. They are a pair of polydactyly twin brothers. One is very cheeky brash gets into a lot of trouble because he's too curious for his own good. The other is very shy timid and only loves mama.

I think I can tell which is which. So cute!

I think I can tell which is which. So cute!

Hahah my mama soppee is the one who has turned to the side. He often looks at me adoringly.

My cream tabby, well he is a talker. Every night when we turn out the lights he needs " invited" to get into his bed or he will " talk" until that happens. He also chirps when pet.

My two black cats if anybody comes over they will run for the basement but after a while they will slowly creep up to take a look. My cream cat he will just stay up and rub himself all over people. But the only person who can pick him up is me. If anybody else tries to pick him up he will tear them apart.

And the other black cat he opens clothes cupboards and dressers and throws the clothes all over the floor. He opens food cupboards and throws out dishes and food. All simply because he would like to know what is at the back of the cupboard. He also runs under your feet on stairs and grab that your legs from under the bed.

OP, your post comes across a bit like a shopping list, which concerns me. No animal is ever going to fit a shopping list of your wants, needs, and preferences. You are getting a living breathing creature with a mind and a will of its own. That means that they won't always act how you envision, want to be petted when you want to pet them, and each relationship is going to be unique and different. When you take on a pet, any pet, you take on whatever quirks and personality traits they bring with them.

Having said that, the best connection is going to be the one where the pet picks you. Let the animal come to you rather than you rushing to them. Often in adoption situations, people come in excited and come at the cat/dog and that will cause them to back away. You are breaching their personal space without an invitation and just like you would be taken aback if a person did this to you, animals will also react negatively. They will either run away or even retaliate with a bite, hiss, scratch, etc. They see your excited approach as aggression and bad manners. So when first meeting a potential pet, be sure that you are in a calm state of mind, enter the room quietly and then let them come to you. Be patient. A critter who likes you will approach faster than one who doesn't. When the cat does approach, make sure that you stay quiet and patient, don't reach down to immediately pick him up or pet him. You are still strangers so give him time to smell, introduce himself and kind of invite more contact. If you pick them up prematurely, you can get scratched or bitten or both. Even the boldest cat will bolt if you breach what animals consider proper manners and a breach of their personal space and boundaries. So be calm, be patient, let them come to you and then be patient and polite and let them invite more contact.

OP, your post comes across a bit like a shopping list, which concerns me. No animal is ever going to fit a shopping list of your wants, needs, and preferences. You are getting a living breathing creature with a mind and a will of its own. That means that they won't always act how you envision, want to be petted when you want to pet them, and each relationship is going to be unique and different. When you take on a pet, any pet, you take on whatever quirks and personality traits they bring with them.

 

Having said that, the best connection is going to be the one where the pet picks you. Let the animal come to you rather than you rushing to them. Often in adoption situations, people come in excited and come at the cat/dog and that will cause them to back away. You are breaching their personal space without an invitation and just like you would be taken aback if a person did this to you, animals will also react negatively. They will either run away or even retaliate with a bite, hiss, scratch, etc. They see your excited approach as aggression and bad manners. So when first meeting a potential pet, be sure that you are in a calm state of mind, enter the room quietly and then let them come to you. Be patient. A critter who likes you will approach faster than one who doesn't. When the cat does approach, make sure that you stay quiet and patient, don't reach down to immediately pick him up or pet him. You are still strangers so give him time to smell, introduce himself and kind of invite more contact. If you pick them up prematurely, you can get scratched or bitten or both. Even the boldest cat will bolt if you breach what animals consider proper manners and a breach of their personal space and boundaries. So be calm, be patient, let them come to you and then be patient and polite and let them invite more contact.

I have to say that's true our cream cat picked us at the Humane Society. He was purring ,sticking his feet out of the cage miaowing. Doing everything to say pick me pick me pick me. And that's the one that my husband loved.

And when he got home into the basement he went for a week before he would come up. He was very nervous. We also found out a bit of his history he had three other owners by the time he was 11 months old and also had spent time as a stray. And to this day he does carry anxiety. Because as a very very young kitten he was returned to the society three times and had spent a few months as a stray all before he was a-year-old. So he does have some situational anxiety and separation anxiety. But at the same time he's an incredibly loving cat.

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This is Stevie (I hope this worked lol).

We got her from friends that we used to house sit for. She was about 3 when we got her and we THOUGHT we knew her personality. Every time we house sat, she was very aloof and non social. She kind of did her own thing and occasionally approached us for petting. We figured she would fit our lifestyle as we are both busy people and maybe wouldn't be able to devote as much time to a needy cat.

She seemed perfect.

Then we took her home lol.

She is SO SO SO needy and affectionate. She is friendly and CONSTANTLY wants to be pet, purrs, and sits on laps. We joke that we got the wrong cat because she is completely different in our home than she was in theirs (and we have known these people for a while and house sat for them often).

We don't mind that she's super friendly. We love our kitty but you have to keep in mind that the pet you see might not be the pet you get. Environment is a huge factor. Stevie was aloof in the other home because they had two other cats and a dog for her to contend with. Here it's just us (and now a baby).

Sometimes you need to take a risk. I wouldn't trade Stevie for anything.