midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 When I was 17, I did some research on autism. I saw some of the characteristics in myself, and began to suspect that Perhaps I had it. My counselor at the time, of course, made it clear that I did NOT have autism. My suspicions turned out to be correct, as most of you know. I was thinking about that former counselor and how she had tried to shoot down the idea that I was autistic; so today I called her office and left her a voicemail telling her about how I'm a former client of hers, and how a few years ago I was diagnosed with autism. Ugh, now I feel like that was a foolish thing to do. But I really felt that she should know, since I turned out to be right about it. I have a hunch she'll just call me back and say something like, "it was nice hearing from u and that u have found out about your condition." I'll keep you posted on what happens next. Any feedback is welcome. Link to comment
Snny Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 How about you let it go? A guidance counselor isn't going to have the tools to diagnose a person with a disability- that is up to the school psychologist. So really, you can stop blaming the school counselor and just go with the current person you have. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 When I was 17, I have a hunch she'll just call me back and say something like, "it was nice hearing from u and that u have found out about your condition." Just be prepared not to receive any response from her at all as fourteen years have passed and she may not even remember you. She's probably had several hundred, if not over a thousand clients in those 14 years, hard to remember every single person she's ever seen. Probably doesn't even have your records anymore either. What did you hope to achieve? Link to comment
musicman777 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I too don't understand what you were trying to accomplish with this. [-( It took you till 31 years old to get a proper diagnosis on this? This isn't your counselors fault... you've been a grown up a long time, if you thought you had some kind of mental disorder a all, you should have sought professional help a long time ago. Of course, maybe we're not getting the full story. Maybe this conversation was deeply implanted in your head and you had many conversations with this person and they judged/criticized for your decisions. Regardless, I agree with everyone else. Screw this counselor. Forget about her, the past is the past. I just hope you find peace with your condition and get proper help for it. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I think you probably would've felt you would have changed or done things differently if you were diagnosed earlier. Because you were told no, you were looking for other answers why you felt a way, etc.. during those times when you thought it was something besides being autistic. For some reason, that memory popped up again and you wanted to know "why did SHE say no to me?" "What did she SEE in me that I didn't feel?". It's just emotions. I get it. But let it go. People aren't always correct. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I get the urge, but if i went and called back everyone from the past just to say duh-uh i was right, then I'd be very busy. This was 14 years ago! Let it go, it's not her fault that you got a late diagnosis......my ex was 36 when he got the diagnosis asperger's and i know how that affected him. But really, would you're life have been any different if you had known early on? Maybe you mentioned some traits to her and she doubted it, and because you were just so young you didn't mention the bigger ones. Or maybe she didn't want to give you that label, it wasn't her place to diagnose you, she isn't a psychologist. I doubt this phone call will have a lot of result, if she remembers you at all, maybe a polite response and then she shrugs it off if that at all..... Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Oh and if this happened 14 years ago, autism was still a new thing. I get this same feeling about the "bully" campaigns. I was bullied all my childhood. Why do these kids seem so special and not my story? Damn, my stories may have made national headlines how mean they were to me. Getting bashed in the ball with a bat , girls calling my house pretending to be a girl I had a crush on just because... , etc.. Yeah. I feel you. But tryng to bring those situations up to these same people and asking them to say "sorry" won't make a difference. It's just your current emotion. You'll be fine next week. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 14 years ago people who were more on the mild end of the spectrum were not really being diagnosed, especially girls. As everyone has said counsellors are not allowed to diagnose. Don't bother with a campaign of na na boo boo when she could not have diagnosed you anyway. Be happy and feel validated that you got a diagnosis and move towards the future. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 How about you let it go? A guidance counselor isn't going to have the tools to diagnose a person with a disability- that is up to the school psychologist.. She was not a school guidance counselor. She was a social worker I saw outside of school. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 I too don't understand what you were trying to accomplish with this. [-( It was on my mind, and I wanted some closure. I suppose I also felt that by telling her, I was making peace with the past. Regardless, I agree with everyone else. Screw this counselor. Forget about her, the past is the past. I just hope you find peace with your condition and get proper help for it. I agree, although it's tough to just "let go" of the past. Especially with my huge memory and autism. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Just be prepared not to receive any response from her at all as fourteen years have passed and she may not even remember you. She's probably had several hundred, if not over a thousand clients in those 14 years, hard to remember every single person she's ever seen. Probably doesn't even have your records anymore either. What did you hope to achieve? I actually ran into her at Rite Aid (where I was working) in 2013. I told her who I was and said she would look through my files to remember me. (lol, she had a horrible memory...I probably could've said the same exact thing, word for word, for every single session, and it'd be like I was saying it new everytime. Well ok, that' s a bit severe. But you know what I mean.) Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 But really, would you're life have been any different if you had known early on? I truly feel it would have. I feel like I wasted a lot of time and energy attending schools and doing stuff that ended up being pretty pointless for me in the end. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 You are wasting a lot of energy right now worried about things you can't change. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Since it was a professional relationship, if you want to discuss anything with her, can you make an appointment to see her?I actually ran into her at Rite Aid Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Tulip, my 3 year old nearly slipped through the cracks this past year. Even now with all the Autism awareness and early intervention and everything. I am not at all surprised to know you slipped through the cracks over a decade ago. Sometimes I still have specialists go "Really, they diagnosed him with ASD?" the first time we visit them. People don't 'see it' without spending significant time with him. For example, his speech pathologist and OT spend a lot of time with him and they don't ask me that stuff. So really, it's not at all unusual that you slipped through the cracks then. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 So did my son. He slipped through the cracks and was not diagnosed until he was 17. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 "It was on my mind, and I wanted some closure. I suppose I also felt that by telling her, I was making peace with the past." Next time I would also consider how the other person might feel receiving a call like this. In two sentences you had four "I" statements and not one even reference to whether your choice might not be appropriate for the other person. Link to comment
Snny Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 She was not a school guidance counselor. She was a social worker I saw outside of school. You said counselor. Big difference here. Please make sure you are giving correct information so people can respond to you with accurate advice to follow. Also, a social worker does not diagnose people for disabilities. That is a psychologist's job. There's no fight here. Let it go. Good luck. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 So really, it's not at all unusual that you slipped through the cracks then. What do you mean by "slip through the cracks"? What does that mean? Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 You said counselor. Big difference here. Please make sure you are giving correct information so people can respond to you with accurate advice to follow. If someone says they "get counseling" no one really thinks of a school guidance counselor, right? Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 "It was on my mind, and I wanted some closure. I suppose I also felt that by telling her, I was making peace with the past." Next time I would also consider how the other person might feel receiving a call like this. In two sentences you had four "I" statements and not one even reference to whether your choice might not be appropriate for the other person. I don't understand many social cues. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 To the OP, you feel like you missed out on things or you would have done things differently if you were diagnosed back then. I agree that you would change your ways. But all we have to do is continue to grind it out. It's like when someone goes, "I would have dated you if you had made a move on the 2nd date but you didn't".. Then you get all upset because now you feel regretful. Try to focus on something else. You are making yourself crazy thinking about it. You are fine. Just be you. 😀 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 To the OP, you feel like you missed out on things or you would have done things differently if you were diagnosed back then. I agree that you would change your ways. But all we have to do is continue to grind it out. It's like when someone goes, "I would have dated you if you had made a move on the 2nd date but you didn't".. Then you get all upset because now you feel regretful. Try to focus on something else. You are making yourself crazy thinking about it. You are fine. Just be you. 😀 Exactly, just be you, and you are fine. Link to comment
midnightdeirdre Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 It's Tuesday late afternoon. I called the counselor and left the voicemail on Sunday. Unless she's on vacation, I guess I won't hear from her. Link to comment
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