Advice needed on friend-stealer

Hey guys.Thanks for reading this in advance.I would really like to hear your advice or exprience if you had ever been through the same situation as I. You see, I have quite a few close and amazing friends with whom I have bonded deeply with over the years. And among them are two whom I am very grateful for being on such good friends with them, let's call them A and B.

Firstly, only late did I slowly realized I have a friend-stealer called C and I don't what to do. It's driving me crazy. I've known her for one year and a few months but we got along well despite all. We met last year and got close quickly due to some incidents. I could easily tell she was a kind person and it's why I have stayed with her until now. C comforted me when I cried and always stood up for my depressed self last year. However, as time went on and I got cheery once again, I started to notice her true personality.

It happened a few months after I introduced her to one of my best friends A. At that time C told me she wanted to make friends with A and when she asked me to introduced them, I happily agreed. After all, the more the merrier, right? And I felt like I owned her for always being with me. However, that was the problems started. She and A's relationship got strained a few months later and C came crying to me.

She kept saying about knowing the true A and how she cried so hard for her. At first I was puzzled since they barely know each other but still tried my best to comfort her. C then started spamming my phone, sending me emo pictures and kept texting me that she wanted to go die. Once she even showed me a picture of her scarred arm which she took a picture of. I was utterly taken aback and started to have second thoughts about her. I didn't know the bubbly and funny person could be this suicidal and...needy.

Since then, C gradually got better but always acted cold and distant towards A whenever I would mention my best friend. But what slowly annoyed me is that although C acted cold towards A in front of me, she'd already formed a separate friendship with A behind my back. She hangs out with A and talks with her almost everyday on the phone. Yet, she still has the nerve to act so indifferently in front of me.

She has a fun personality, but I honestly feel she has a narcissistic personality disorder, and I'm not trying to be mean. Now, since she's in the same class as B, my other best friend and god...It's happening all again. What really pissed me off was that B and C played a prank on me telling me that they have gotten into an argument again (like A and C last year) They kept it for a week and even tried to argue in front of me, making me believe it was all real. During the whole week C had the nerve to message me asking me how to deal with B. She even said that she wanted to go jump off a building because B ignored her calls, texts and eye contract. So, you could probably know angry I was when they both got together with A to tell me it was a joke. The excuse was because they wanted to see what my reactions were, cuz I was very worried and even shed a few tears over C and A's fight last year.

I don't like being played around to begin with, and the fact that B and C had gotten so close to play a prank together on me made me completely frustrated and annoyed. Anyways, they apologize to me many times after that I forgave them, though I was still sour on the inside. I feel like C is just friends with me to be close to A and B. Even now, she will still deny it whenever I made remarks about her being close friends with A and B.

I feel really childish for taking issue so far but I just couldn't handle it. We recently got a slight fall out because I started to ignore her and reply to her texts less, but agreed to have a cooling period. However, the period didn't last much long and she asked to be friends again. Things started to get a bit sour and I started having thoughts of unfriending with her. All my other close friends whom I talked with also advised me to cut ties with her. It also didn't help that my interactions with A and B have lessened drastically since me and C's fall out. This whole mess with them caused me to fall into mild depression and if it wasn't for my other good friends' support, I was sure I would break down any moment. I seriously considered cutting ties with someone who had made my life so wonderful, yet like it was hell on earth a year later.

Now, C's profile pictures on social media include her selfies with both A and B, as if she's silently mocking me and claiming her vcitory for spending more time with my so-called best friends.

Did you want help on strategies to stop being so possessive with your friends and just have fun with all of them?

If that's the case, start by putting a photo up of all four of you on facebook and then forget any paranoia you may have regarding them ganging up against you and try to chillax.

Have you spoken to A and B about this?

Can you arrange to meet A and B without C to discuss?

It sounds to me like C is very jealous of you. And she was only happy being your friend when you were down almost like she got pleasure out of the fact that your life wasn't perfect as she seemed to think. But as you got better , then her jealousy took over again.

She sounds toxic and yes I would consider unfriending her completely. This may cause a rift between you , A and B, but I am sure they will eventually see her true colours and it sounds like you have enough real friends apart from the 3 of them to get you through a rift.

A and B haven't exactly been good to you through this either so perhaps it's best to ease back on those friendships too. They might be easily led by C or may be unaware of some of the things C has said to you.

I got rid of all the friend-stealers I ever had. Problem solved.

Oh yeah, I've had "friends" like these before. Trust me, your enemies are a whole lot more honest than people like this. At least they openly declare they don't like you.

You need to cut ties with C for good and if anyone brings it up a simple, "We are not friends anymore, too much trouble, topic done" is all you should say. C is not a friend stealer per se, she's a sh** stirrer who likes to pit people against each other and glom on to weaknesses in people to make herself feel better. Hence the whole being your friend when you were down, something I'm sure she bragged about to other people, "I am such a saint for being this woman's friend," to paint herself in a better light.

The problem with people like this though is they live for drama and it's a very much a control issue. And C sees your niceness and constant willingness to be friends with her and keep giving her chances as a weakness. So she's exploiting that and you for all it's worth and will continue to do so as long as you give her access of any sort.

If it were me, and it has been, I'd unfriend C for good, then tell A and B that while you are not going to control who they are friends with you want nothing more to do with C and if they are going to have a problem with that then you're sorry, but you're done with the drama."

And then really be, once and for all. And that means not opening the door to people who are emotional vampires, period. No matter how hard they cry and play the pity card--actually doubly so when they do that. It usually means they're really getting ready to plant a knife in your back.

Get her gone, you do not need the drama and it will only stop when she is not in your life and not able to create it. And if A and B don't want to give up her friendship then let them find out why you cut her out. My guess is soon enough they'd come around to why you are no longer her friend. And in the meantime hang out with those friends not so hungry for control and boosting their own flagging self-esteem at the expense of those close to them.

Hi Billie28 and thanks for replying I have already planned to cut ties with her and now it is the problem of talking about it to C. I also asked A to meet up with me first tomorrow, since she is more close with me, but will talk to B about it after I am done with A. I wanted to let them two know what I am going through first before openly declare that me and C are over.The problem is how I express my problems with C openly to them and still remain rational. Any tips?

Thanks ParisPaulette for your assuring reply. I understand your words and felt better after reading you and the others reply Still it is a bit painful to cut someone off whom you used to be such in good terms with but I am willing to do it. As I mention above, the only problem is how to discuss my problems with A and B and still sound rational about my decision. I know me and C cannot continue like this or we would just continue to hurt and dislike each other more. Would love to hear your reply, and I hope I can sucessfully solve this problem.

Hello greta28, thanks for your short but sweet reply. Will try to do as you adviced, thanks

Hi ThatwasThen. Honestly, I had already tried it before but C just seems so uninterested in going out with the three of us. When we did go out, she would always look so bored and was so quiet that it made me awkward also. Maybe it was because I was there. Who knows. Thanks for your reply though!

I am a little perplexed at this thread, so excuse while I try to decipher.

It sounds to me that you are all doing things and saying things to each other and I couldn't help but notice you actually put owned in one part of your thread.

A true friendship is based on honesty, trust and respect. I can't see any of these attributes being used in any one of your friends. I am sorry, I honestly know this sounds harsh and I don't mean to.

If you want to stop talking to C, then sit down like the friends you once we're and tell her your feeling and that you feel you have reached a precepise and can't carry on like it. Maybe you will be able to move passed it.

Sit down with A and then b and express separately about your friendship with a and b and how you feel about it.

What I would never do is talk to one friend about another as that doesn't show respect, for the individual friend, but can come across as a ganging up affect and can damage or cause more damage, to an already fractured situation.

None of us own any other human being and friends should be cherished. None of us are perfect, we all have our exentricities, and thats what makes us unique.

I hope this makes a little sense and I don't want you to feel upset or offended, it's only my opinion on what I have read.

Hope you manage to sort this out, with the outcome, where are happy!

Christina