Not sure what's going to happen with this threesome

I'm pansexual (attracted to all genders), and due to that have very often received offers of threesomes. I do enjoy having threesomes and have had a fair few. Recently on an online dating site, a guy contacted me saying that him and his female sexual partner are looking for another female to join them in a threesome. I was curious so responded and the guy and I exchanged some photos (some nude, but I didn't have my face in the photos). From my understanding, the guy and the woman are not in a monogamous relationship or maybe not in a relationship at all, they are pretty much just casual sexual partners. The guy sent me some "sexy" photos of the woman also and of them having sex. The guy asked if he could show my photos to the lady and I said "yes".

Then the guy asked when I could meet just him and if all goes well, do I want to invite him to my place and have sex with him? I said I wasn't sure and I would need to see how things go when we actually meet. I asked does his lady friend want to meet with us also? The guy said she can meet me later and that he will tell her how everything goes with me first, e.g. the sex. I started feeling a bit weird about the whole thing because if the idea was to have a threesome, then why can't I meet him as well as the woman together? Also he's controlling the whole situation and says I should have sex with him first? The thing is that I don't really want to have sex just with the guy on his own, I get many of those offers and I usually turn them down. This time I only responded because I want to have a threesome specifically.

I'm not sure if the guy is actually being a jerk or whether I just haven't made myself clear enough that I'm interested in the threesome only? Like, he might think that I just want to sleep with just anyone? Also, because the woman's not coming to meet me but just him, how do I know there even is a woman? He could be sending me sexy photos of anyone, or of his sexual partner, who doesn't even know he's sending the photos. Just because he has sexy pictures of a woman doesn't mean anything. Does this sound dodgy or is it maybe just that he thinks I'm willing to have sex with anybody and that's why he said those things? Like, that I would want to have sex just with him as well?

I thik he's playing with you. I would be very put off by the fact he wants you to invite him to your place. That implies to me that he can't take you to his place.

To me it sounds like maybe he is in a relationship with this woman and is using her to attract pansexual women. Chances are, she doesn't even know he's initiating threesomes and that seems to be the reason why he's wanting to meet with you only. Be careful girly, sounds off to me and I would be very cautious to whom you meet up with! Especially online dating!

I thik he's playing with you. I would be very put off by the fact he wants you to invite him to your place. That implies to me that he can't take you to his place.

Well he said something that he has kids...? I mean that would be OK if he was a single Dad but I'm just really not sure what the situation is...I'm just finding it a bit odd that he's saying I should meet him by himself first and have sex with him. If there really is a woman then why can't she come along as well? He says he will tell her how everything went but that makes no sense as she should be the one to meet me in person and see if she likes me?

To me that's a huge red flag tbh. The three of you meeting up for coffee to see if you click would be one thing, but him asking for a sample... nope nope nope.

You want to have a threesome, he's getting wierd about it... I would just move on.

Did you ever see any photos of this lady? I suspect she's a figment.

If you "don't want to have sex with the guy on his own" then why haven't you just told him "no." You don't know this man, you don't owe him a thing and frankly to have to come to a forum board (even though you are a regular) to ask opinions on this makes me gasp.

You are not feeling comfortable with his lead so you take your power back from him and YOU run it the way you want and if he doesn't want to comply then find a new set who will.

To me that's a huge red flag tbh. The three of you meeting up for coffee to see if you click would be one thing, but him asking for a sample... nope nope nope.

 

You want to have a threesome, he's getting wierd about it... I would just move on.

 

 

Did you ever see any photos of this lady? I suspect she's a figment.

Well he did send photos of a woman in a few sexy outfits and even face ones and her giving "him" a blow job, but really it just looked like some guy's head....He sent all the sexy pictures showing the woman's face but only ones of his penis of himself. Also on his online dating profile he didn't even include any face photos of himself but yet he was sending face photos of his supposed lady friend? Sounds like maybe he just found some random pictures of a woman online or maybe sending some of his FWB without permission?

If you "don't want to have sex with the guy on his own" then why haven't you just told him "no." You don't know this man, you don't owe him a thing and frankly to have to come to a forum board (even though you are a regular) to ask opinions on this makes me gasp.

 

You are not feeling comfortable with his lead so you take your power back from him and YOU run it the way you want and if he doesn't want to comply then find a new set who will.

Well I haven't given him any of my contact info or sent any nude photos of my face in them or anything....The reason why I posted here is because I was feeling weird about it and seeing as this isn't something I'm going to talk to my friends and family about due to being very private, I guess I just needed some other opinions.

Well I haven't given him any of my contact info or sent any nude photos of my face in them or anything....The reason why I posted here is because I was feeling weird about it and seeing as this isn't something I'm going to talk to my friends and family about due to being very private, I guess I just needed some other opinions.

That bolded part is the point of my whole post. You shouldn't need other peoples opinions. You should automatically rule out anyone (never mind a complete stranger) who is not doing what you want to do. You are the boss of you. It's called having personal boundaries and love of self. No need to question this at all. He's obviously making you feel uncomfortable if you have started a thread about him so block and delete the creep and continue on looking for something with someone(s) that don't cause your flight response to kick in. Simple!

That bolded part is the point of my whole post. You shouldn't need other peoples opinions. You should automatically rule out anyone (never mind a complete stranger) who is not doing what you want to do. You are the boss of you. It's called having personal boundaries and love of self. No need to question this at all. He's obviously making you feel uncomfortable if you have started a thread about him so block and delete the creep and continue on looking for something with someone(s) that don't cause your flight response to kick in. Simple!

Yes good point but I am technically interested in the threesome so maybe I'll just say that I will only meet both him and the woman at the same time? I mean there is also the chance that it's not that he's hiding something but just he wants to get laid just by himself as well?

Yes good point but I am technically interested in the threesome so maybe I'll just say that I will only meet both him and the woman at the same time? I mean there is also the chance that it's not that he's hiding something but just he wants to get laid just by himself as well?

Like I said ~ You are the boss of you so be a good employee (lol) and direct yourself the way you want your company run.

Like I said ~ You are the boss of you so be a good employee (lol) and direct yourself the way you want your company run.

 

Ha ha OK point taken

It sounds like a scam and ceasing contact may be best rather than meeting this guy for random sex. Move on to more reputable ads that involve talking to everyone involved...before meeting up.

I think that when meeting for a threesome, all parties should be present. I would also be highly suspect of someone who sends nude photos of someone else with their faces showing. Photos of this nature should only come directly from the source.

I think that when meeting for a threesome, all parties should be present. I would also be highly suspect of someone who sends nude photos of someone else with their faces showing. Photos of this nature should only come directly from the source.

Excellent point. The guys over-stepping the lines of discreet decorum. I'd not trust him past "hello."

Excellent point. The guys over-stepping the lines of discreet decorum. I'd not trust him past "hello."

Yeah I think that his "lady friend", if she even exists, would not appreciate him sending sexy photos with her face showing very clearly. Which makes me wonder if maybe he just found some sexy pictures online and is pretending that's her?

Yeah I think that his "lady friend", if she even exists, would not appreciate him sending sexy photos with her face showing very clearly. Which makes me wonder if maybe he just found some sexy pictures online and is pretending that's her?

What does that matter? Just next him. You know you should otherwise you'd have just met up with him and did your thing? He's not what you want to be getting yourself involved in. Just say "Bubye" I'm sure you're not so desperate for FMF action that you'd risk having anything to do with a suspect stranger.

What does that matter? Just next him. You know you should otherwise you'd have just met up with him and did your thing? He's not what you want to be getting yourself involved in. Just say "Bubye" I'm sure you're not so desperate for FMF action that you'd risk having anything to do with a suspect stranger.

Lol No I'm not too desperate, I've actually experienced that plenty before in the past. The other odd thing was that basically at the same time some other guy messaged me about a threesome thing too and was basically the same age and also no photos... Could just be a coincidence but I don't know....

Yeah I think that his "lady friend", if she even exists, would not appreciate him sending sexy photos with her face showing very clearly. Which makes me wonder if maybe he just found some sexy pictures online and is pretending that's her?

Whether it is a girlfriend or someone else, this action is really out of line and speaks to his character. He is not willing to show his face but has no problem parading someone else's? DODGY.

There are lots of couples online looking for a third, I would take a pass on this guy and explore other options.

Well he did send photos of a woman in a few sexy outfits and even face ones and her giving "him" a blow job, but really it just looked like some guy's head....He sent all the sexy pictures showing the woman's face but only ones of his penis of himself. Also on his online dating profile he didn't even include any face photos of himself but yet he was sending face photos of his supposed lady friend? Sounds like maybe he just found some random pictures of a woman online or maybe sending some of his FWB without permission?

Yeah, he's definitely not right.

If you are excited to meet a couple for a threesome I would suggest going to a swing club instead of looking for folks on the internet. You meet both people right away and you can tell if you are interested, and if both people are interested. And single women at swing clubs are like cat nip for couples who want a FFM threesome. And it's a safe place, that is somewhat public that has rules and culture around consent.

It's risky to meet strangers for sex off the internet. If you do it that way make sure someone knows where you are supposed to be and is expecting a check up call/text from you.

Don't EVER have sex, especially a threesome, if your feeling unsure about it in any way. Its just not worth your well being and safety. You can find other people out there who aren't as weird and more trustworthy.

I'd ditch this guy and the potential threesome tbh...too many question marks for something that should be straight forward and simple.

You know exactly what you want (a threesome), so don't complicate things and only accept to chat/meet those who can give you that. The moment things start looking sketchy abort mission, it's not worth the trouble.

To me that's a huge red flag tbh. The three of you meeting up for coffee to see if you click would be one thing, but him asking for a sample... nope nope nope.

 

You want to have a threesome, he's getting wierd about it... I would just move on.

 

 

Did you ever see any photos of this lady? I suspect she's a figment.

Yep. For all we know he's Jeffrey Dahmer. The OP needs to move on and use common sense