A Break up text message :(

I'm planning to break up with my bf..... The situation is complicated, but he's been disrespectful, distant, and I'm devastated but I can't do this (read previous post for details). I've had enough..... Trying to get my point across without sounding like an ass, I wrote down what I'm going to say, but need advice. I can tell that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, and begged and pleaded – but we decided to take space (not break up) but I am still on an emotional roller coaster, he speaks to me with no emotion, like an acquaintance. I feel like he picks me up and put me down at his convenience. contacting him make me more miserable.

"I've taken some time to think about what I need in my life and in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm alone. I deserve someone who will be there for me emotionally, whether he is physically here with me or 3000 miles away. I deserve consistency, care, and consideration through the good times and the bad. I've been thinking about what you said last week, about having to be selfish to make yourself happy. I agree that everyone is entitled to happiness, and what would make me happy is consistency, authenticity, being treated with mutual respect, and clear and honest communication about feelings and issues impacting the relationship. With that being said, I'm unhappy, and I need to make a decision for myself. At this point, what's best for me is for us to take a break. "

Thoughts please.

If you want to break up instead of break at the end put break up because aren't you already taking space? Which is a break?

He might read that last part and not get that it's over and done.

I think you conducted the message really well.

It was mature, thoughtful and straight to the point.

Lisa

Thats exactly how i felt with the girl i was with. And i shouldve sent a text like this long ago. I dragged the relationship along and she ended up breaking up with me. ITs best you send it.

The only change I would make is "take a break" to a more decisive

"What's best for me is to end whatever this is and continue to move on."

So, you agreed to a break suggested by him and now you want to be in control and decide to tell him you want a break?

That doesn't make sense.

On off relationships always end when one finally has the courage to end it, rather than be in limbo.

Your previous post suggested that you were very unhappy with his communication re breaking up via text. It's gutless , I agree, so why are you now behaving the same?

The relationship is over and has been for a long time. At least have the courage to break up in person or if distance prevents that, at least a phone call.

I do wonder if you are texting merely in hope that by you taking control and breaking up, that he will change and come running to you. It won't happen or if it does, it will again be temporary.

An exbf taught to use my actions first. To Billies point, withhold text if you intend to maintain any sort of contact thereafter.

Otoh, using text is fine in this instance. No need to overthink it. Just close the door, delete or archive all leftovers, and open a new door.

It would not send this. I would simply call and tell him it's over because things aren't working and to not contact you. Pouring your heart about what you deserve or how hurt you are is wasted on someone who has given up.

It would not send this. I would simply call and tell him it's over because things aren't working and to not contact you. Pouring your heart about what you deserve or how hurt you are is wasted on someone who has given up.

I agree, I wouldn't bother. It's good that you wrote this to clarify where you stand for yourself, but you wouldn't run after someone on the street who's already walked away to tell him that you're walking away now.