Reconnecting after many years with highschool flame

I need advice on how to rekindle things.

 

I recently found my high school bf on Facebook. I had found him b4..but he was married. He accepted my friend request.i didn't message him. He sent me a message a week later and we have been chatting.

 

It's mostly what do you do for work...how us your family. He hasn't written anything personal except diud say how smart and motivated I always was.

 

BTW...

It was not a bad break up...I moved away.

 

How do I break the ice and get on the subject...we live in different states...so a casual meeting would be weird.

 

I am new to Facebook and I don't really know how to broach the subject with him without it seeming weird....like hey did you ever think we could get another chance...etc..lol.

 

Thank you

 

PS= he has been divorced 4 + years...same as me. I looked him up between then...but thought he was still married.

How long has he been divorced

Why not ask if anyone has heard of a reunion or suggest gathering up some people for a reunion. Is he still married?

I recently found my high school bf on Facebook. I had found him b4..but he was married.....like hey did you ever think we could get another chance...etc..lol.

First, I would verify that he doesn't have a significant other.

 

After that,you can start flirting with him. "I can't believe how great you look after all these years!", for example. See if he reciprocates. Start asking more personal questions about his life. Your questions will show him your interest and will help you to gauge his at the same time. You could also ask if he has plans to come home for a visit any time soon and offer to meet up for a drink.

 

I wouldn't jump into asking him for another chance without some build up first. That would be awkward.

 

As a woman now dating her former high school flame after many, many years, I'm rooting for you!

How do I break the ice and get on the subject...we live in different states...so a casual meeting would be weird.

This makes me wonder why you are afraid of commitment. Why would you even want to start something up with someone that is too far away from you to nurture anything serious. If you're not able or willing to relocate then all that it will ever be is a casual meeting wherein you'll more likely then not, be back on here (if you continue on and it gets sexual) wondering what he's up to, why he's not as attentive, where you stand, why he's not online with you every minute he's free etc.

 

I've read so much of these types of situations that it just makes sense that those who are not ready to be in something serious and ongoing would even pursue anything with someone long distance and through "wastebook."

 

If you are ready to date again, why not go to a reputable online dating site (not POF or Tinder) and only allow men within a short car drive/public transit ride to contact you? Better yet, join a coed sports team or some other hobby that will introduce you to men in person that live where you do?

I wouldn't bring up wanting to rekindle something. He is a different person now and you are in love with the person he used to be. I wouldn't make a move unless you meet again in person at a reunion, or if you plan to be in that town. If you don't follow this idea, I think that he would disappoint you by rejecting you, or you would have a long distance emotional affair that would block you from meeting a guy you have a chance of an in person relationship with.

This makes me wonder why you are afraid of commitment. Why would you even want to start something up with someone that is too far away from you to nurture anything serious. If you're not able or willing to relocate then all that it will ever be is a casual meeting wherein you'll more likely then not, be back on here (if you continue on and it gets sexual) wondering what he's up to, why he's not as attentive, where you stand, why he's not online with you every minute he's free etc.

 

I've read so much of these types of situations that it just makes sense that those who are not ready to be in something serious and ongoing would even pursue anything with someone long distance and through "wastebook."

 

If you are ready to date again, why not go to a reputable online dating site (not POF or Tinder) and only allow men within a short car drive/public transit ride to contact you? Better yet, join a coed sports team or some other hobby that will introduce you to men in person that live where you do?

A casual meeting isn't reasonable..meaning we can't meet for coffee casually...etc. Nothing to with commitment...lol.

I assumed he doesn't have anyone...as he didn't mention it...but you're right. I guess just flat out ask?????

A casual meeting isn't reasonable..meaning we can't meet for coffee casually...etc. Nothing to with commitment...lol.

 

What ThatWasThen means - i think - is you are pursuing a man who is not reasonable to date due to distance. It is the perfect set up for someone who is afraid of commitment - only go after unavailable men.

Sure, why not?...Do you really want to go further if he is with someone?

I assumed he doesn't have anyone...as he didn't mention it...but you're right. I guess just flat out ask?????

I actually wanted to marry him. It's complicated. We were each others firsts in lots of ways. Another guy proposed to me...my high school sweetheart knew...and was too afraid. I was married twenty years...hths

How long has he been divorced?

 

Asking again because it's relevant. He's long distance. He was married last time you looked him up. He may be unreliable right now.

 

Just go slow. Ask questions.

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