Minnimouse Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Hi guys, Right, I have been on 2 dates with a guy I really like him. He makes me laugh and we get on really well. The only thing is I'm not sure he sees me as girlfriend material. I know it's only been 2 dates but I usually know when someone likes me. He has been divorced and has a son. Which I thought would bother me but it isn't so far. I know he is attracted to me as he says so and I catch him looking at me all the time, he says he loves my face. We have kissed and he likes to put his arm around me. The thing is.... He talks A LOT!!! I am kinda a bit quieter and I seem to know more about him than he does about me. He doesn't tend to ask me questions about myself but I ask him things. Is he just nervous? Is it a way of "showing off" to me? The 2nd date I went to his flat and we played a board game as we both love board games. Later on he said I should maybe leave some clothes here (at his flat). I said that seems like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He replied with yeah we can discuss that another time. He asked when he can see me again which I replied with I'm not sure, when we are both free but I would like to see you again. He doesn't text me much I am the one that texts him first and he calls me when he knows I'm up sometimes. We met online and he still goes on the site frequently. Am I being over paranoid? Does he like me and I just need to chill out a bit? Advice would be great thanks x Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Have you talked about being exclusive? He seems keen on sleep-overs but not about getting off dating sites.I have been on 2 dates with a guy I really like him. The 2nd date I went to his flat and we played a board game. I should maybe leave some clothes here at his flat. We met online and he still goes on the site frequently. Link to comment
Asb682 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Sounds like it's going fine thus far. If you guys progress, he should start logging on to the site less often, if at all. He sounds like a guy I dated a year ago, however he stopped logging on to the site after our first date. After a month of dating, he broke it off with me claiming he had gotten back together with his ex gf. So I guess the logging on isn't as a big a deal as we make it out to be. Link to comment
Minnimouse Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 Have you talked about being exclusive? He seems keen on sleep-overs but not about getting off dating sites. He asked me at the end of the 1st date if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend, I said maybe but I would like to meet again. He agreed. Link to comment
Asb682 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 He asked me at the end of the 1st date if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend, I said maybe but I would like to meet again. He agreed. That's an odd thing to ask after a first date, I'd be leery of him. How old are you guys? Link to comment
Minnimouse Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 He is 31 and I am 30. Link to comment
missmarple Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 31? Nope, he's not serious. If I were you, I would keep our dates public from now on. Link to comment
Minnimouse Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 31? Nope, he's not serious. If I were you, I would keep our dates public from now on. What makes you say he is not serious? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Wait... how are you bf/gf while he is still on dating sites? Are you sure he didn't just say this and the other hint about future sleep overs to have sex?He asked me at the end of the 1st date if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend Link to comment
missmarple Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 What makes you say he is not serious? Because no one in their '30s would ask a girl if she wants to be his gf after just one date and mean it. If he was 16, maybe. Link to comment
Asb682 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 What makes you say he is not serious? Because no 31 year old man would ask a girl to be his girlfriend after one date, and mean it. If you guys were in high school Id say maybe. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 He is still on dating sites.What makes you say he is not serious? Link to comment
Asb682 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Because no one in their '30s would ask a girl if she wants to be his gf after just one date and mean it. If he was 16, maybe. Haha I wrote a 16 year old boy might, but then deleted it and said high school! Link to comment
missmarple Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Haha I wrote a 16 year old boy might, but then deleted it and said high school! Get out of my head =P~ Link to comment
Minnimouse Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 I'm on a dating site too but I don't talk to anyone. Should I maybe talk to him about this? To both come off them. Link to comment
saluk Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Still being on dating sites isn't much of a sign of anything. Especially as you turned down his overeager intent to put a label on it. But his asking to be his gf so soon, 2nd date being at his house, and his suggestion to leave clothes there (that seems like a super weird way to invite someone to sleep over to me...) are kind of red flags. It doesn't seem too bad though, I would keep seeing where it's going and keep some distance until you get a better read on him, and until you feel like he knows you as well as you know him. If you can't ever get a word in you might just be mismatched anyway. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 The 2nd date I went to his flat and we played a board game as we both love board games. Later on he said I should maybe leave some clothes here (at his flat). ^ My guess is he was testing your reaction when he invited you to his flat. This, in turn gave him the green light to mention leaving some of your clothes there, which likely gave him an answer to what he's potentially looking for. I could be off base, but agreeing to go to his place on a second date didn't help your case...so to speak. Either way, I would proceed with extreme caution. Just my .02. Link to comment
greta96 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 He's looking for casual. "The 2nd date I went to his flat and we played a board game as we both love board games. Later on he said I should maybe leave some clothes here (at his flat). I said that seems like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He replied with yeah we can discuss that another time." He told you to leave clothes at his place on the second "date"?? First of all, that was not a date, at least not a proper one, it was the kind of date a lazy person would have, or someone who doesn't want to invest much in you (and I'm not talking only about money). Then, he refused to discuss the boyfriend/girlfriend thing (not surprisingly, because it was too soon, but considering he didn't think it was too soon to bring up you leaving personal stuff at his place, he can't blame his reluctance to discuss commitment on how soon it was). Last but not least, he's still fishing for dates. I highly doubt he's serious about you, but hey, stranger things have happened. I think that until you figure this out, you'd be smart to keep the dates on neutral territory and watch his actions over a period of time. If he willingly deletes his profile and starts actually planning dates with you and discussing exclusivity, then you can consider staying the night and leaving clothes there. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Don't you want to know if he is dating, meeting or sleeping with others?I'm on a dating site too but I don't talk to anyone. Should I maybe talk to him about this? To both come off them. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 First date he asks you if you can be boyfriend/girlfriend and the second date he asks you to leave some clothes at his flat??? You don't even know each other just yet! Where is the getting to know each other phase? He goes to quickly and pretty much any time a guy moves that fast it's a red flag. Be careful! Best case scenario he's in it for the Sex but there are worse things that can happen when a guy moves this fast. What's the 3rd date? Marriage? No i think he isn't as much interested in you as in getting his little head some action. Sorry! I think it's best to not get too invested Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 It's hard for anyone to know what it is he is wants after just two dates. There's not much to go on .... and until you've had a few more dates and the "exclusivity" talk I don't think that he's doing anything that reflects negatively on you at this moment in time. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 First date he asks you if you can be boyfriend/girlfriend Oh I missed that! Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 he does seem odd. To mention you leave your clothes there and you two have hardly even started anything!? I don't feel this is going anywhere. Re: being online. Don't bother with that. So many remain on those sites. rarely will they actually STAY offline. I think to some it's almost addicting. And curiosity rules. (also like a pick me up.. gives them satisfaction). Link to comment
SoulTaker Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Hi guys, Right, I have been on 2 dates with a guy I really like him. He makes me laugh and we get on really well. The only thing is I'm not sure he sees me as girlfriend material. I know it's only been 2 dates but I usually know when someone likes me. He has been divorced and has a son. Which I thought would bother me but it isn't so far. I know he is attracted to me as he says so and I catch him looking at me all the time, he says he loves my face. We have kissed and he likes to put his arm around me. The thing is.... He talks A LOT!!! I am kinda a bit quieter and I seem to know more about him than he does about me. He doesn't tend to ask me questions about myself but I ask him things. Is he just nervous? Is it a way of "showing off" to me? The 2nd date I went to his flat and we played a board game as we both love board games. Later on he said I should maybe leave some clothes here (at his flat). I said that seems like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He replied with yeah we can discuss that another time. He asked when he can see me again which I replied with I'm not sure, when we are both free but I would like to see you again. He doesn't text me much I am the one that texts him first and he calls me when he knows I'm up sometimes. We met online and he still goes on the site frequently. Am I being over paranoid? Does he like me and I just need to chill out a bit? Advice would be great thanks x Minni, first things first. What are you looking for (casual, exclusive, relationship,...)? What is he looking for? Since, you have been at his house already (much too soon), you should know the answers. If you are just looking to hang out with someone (casual), then there's no problems here. If you, or/and him are looking for a relationship, and beyond, then you have a big problem on your hands. Also, did he introduce you to his son? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.