Roommate is being Tricky.. Would love your Advice/Opinion!

My roommate and I have been friends for almost 2 years now, we met at school and became great friends. We also chose to room together because we both saw we were equally as clean and had similiar living habits.. there is now other friend I could honestly live with.. were my thoughts in the beginning.

 

As time went on, it's been so good so far, she never complained to me about absolutely anything, whenever i see a few dishes of hers I did them, and vice versa she'd do the same for me. She's home 80% percent of the day because she works from home, however I have a 9-6 job, that after I come home to.. I change and go to the gym and get back and shower and go to sleep.. I'm gone as you can imagine for most of the day. HOWEVER, I take of the trash and recycling as often as I can..

I mostly clean the kitchen and such, but she mostly cleans the bathroom floor with bleach (which idk how to do) but thats her preference so I let her do that, and I clean what I know how to clean.

 

My room has a door and no one ever goes in there except me, and It's not the cleanest..

but i keep the rest of the apt pretty damn clean and help out as much as I can.

 

This year we've had several dinner parties/parties/get-togethers and she's a drinker. Which, I respect. I'm however not like that, I only drink on weekends, and even sometimes every other weekend, once. She drinks wine on wednesdays... and twice every weekend usually. I notice when she drinks she gets very verbally aggressive with me.

Once, in front of our friends she offered me wine and she ed at me and asked me why not? and then brought up my diet and said that other things I eat are bad for me too so she didnt understand why i was turning down the wine. Again, Infront of our friends..

 

We had a party last weekend, and while it was great.. someone had broken something of hers and she took out all her anger out on me and caused a scene again infront of all of our friends, I knew she was drunk so I didnt say anything to her in return... and just let her yell, I went and sat on the couch and spoke to someone else. She then proceed to call her ex-bf the rest of the party and infront of our friends AGAIN started talking badly about me, about how she has to clean up all the time all she does is clean "i even clean up after my roommate" "i'm the maid around here etc." which SSCHOCKED me. Out of no where this is the first time I hear this, and not once did she ever mention anything. She also complained about how she wants to travel back home and my two bestfriends were in my room, heard everything amongst me and were in shock that she had the audacity to speak about that infront of everyone.

 

I confronted her politely and told her the next day when she was sobered up, that I didnt appreciate her taking out her anger out at everytime something happeneds to her. She denied what i was talking about and said "Im sorry.. but youre also not perfect". The conversation didnt end super when she apologized but then starting throwing back handed comments at me... didnt fully take responsibility for what she did 100% and instead listed things that she thinks Ive done. She said.. "Youre clean, but you don't bleach the bathroom floors like I do.."

 

 

ANYWAY, She is leaving in the smack middle of may, and she found a roommate to sublease for the summer. She posted the listing at a price she thought was reasonable and even made up the security deposit amount, which we never discussed at all.. when i asked her if she had taken pictures of the place yet to help put them up on websites because we agreed to do it together she said "i already found someone" and said she already put them up herself.....

In fact I have NEVER seen the listings myself, and while the girl we found is kind and I've already set her up to move in the day after my current rommate lives,

 

 

I think it's so unfair that TODAY my current roommate decided to text me, instead of communicating with me yesterday

or when I get home about this.. That she's wondering what I owe her now because she's expecting money from the rent we are charging the girl for the summer since we are subleasing a little higher (due to the place being furnished).

 

Side note: I paid for all the living room furniture since this place is under my name (not hers), the only think

the girl would use is a desk and a bed.... I've supplied the couch.. and everything in a kitchen/bathroom you could possibly need.

 

Current roommate is supposed to be coming back for the fall but honestly I'm so upset about all of this that I dont even think it's fair to be giving half of the profit that I make, because essentially she never communicated to me that she was expecting the other half and secondly, im letting her keep all of her stuff here for FREE, she would have had to pay a storage unit that costs her $100/m with all her stuff.

 

So she's already texting me while Im at work, deducting me what we would be making extra from this girl from the money she owes me for the half of May.

 

Does ANYONE reading my situation think this is fair or reasonable? Please advise, comments are so much appreciated.

There are two separate transactions here:

 

1) Between and your roommate. She owes you whatever is agreed upon for the entirety of the agreement.

 

2) Between your roommate and the woman she's subletting to. So long as your deal with your roommate is still being honored and you're receiving what your roommate agreed to originally give you, your roommate is free to pocket whatever extra she works out with the woman she's subletting to.

 

You're not actually entitled to anything extra that's been worked out between them unless a signed agreement between you and your roommate says otherwise. Conditions on subletting should have been spelled out in your initial agreement with your roommate.

Live by yourself if you can. I'm so glad I'm done with the roommate phase of my life.

 

And I say that knowing I was also a bad roommate at times. Very rarely do you have a situation where people are perfect roommates for the entirety of the lease. It's better to just avoid it altogether.

Actually I am, because my father is the landlord and my name is on the lease..

also, there was no contract/written statement agreeing to the fact that I owe her money from this girl subleasing...

 

My current roommate is not on the lease, I am. Just me..

I would If i could, TRUST ME. hahah, but where I live it costs a fortune to live by yourself, I'm talking $2,000+ per month

Actually I am, because my father is the landlord and my name is on the lease..

also, there was no contract/written statement agreeing to the fact that I owe her money from this girl subleasing...

 

My current roommate is not on the lease, I am. Just me..

So the new roommate is paying you instead of her? Typically the sublettor (your roommate in this case) will take the money from the person they sublet to and in turn make the obligated payment themselves. Similar to I'm sure how your roommate provided you the check and you in turn provided the consolidated rent payment to your father.

 

Your roommate has basically entrusted you with the extra money she's making from her agreement with the sublettee. Individual state laws may come into play here, so I'd tread very carefully if you're thinking on keeping any part of the excess payment for yourself. Your roommate only owes you what you two originally agreed upon her owing regardless of however much the sublettee and her agreed to.

 

Basically, if the sublettee and your roommate agreed to less than what your roommate has been paying, your roommate would have to make up the difference. If the sublettee and your roommate agreed to more than what your roommate has been paying, then your roommate would, in principle, get all of the extra payment.

 

While her rushing this all on you is a bit iffy, she appears to have been pretty fair as far as the financials go by offering you half of the surcharge she negotiated. I think the basic decent human being thing to do would be to go ahead and credit your roommate for the half of the surcharge.

 

Theoretically, I suppose you could just pocket it all without consequence as I'm sure it wouldn't add up to enough money to make it worth her filing a civil claim. But that'd be kinda ****ty.

 

This is why you write and sign detailed contracts. To alleviate the drama and the bull****.

If your current roommate is not on the current lease AT ALL then she is entitled to nothing. Including subletting to the new roommate. You cannot sublet a lease that you're not even on. YOU can sublet, and YOU can choose your own roommate. And honestly, you being the only one on the lease makes you the only one legally or financially responsible for anything, so if I were you, the current roommate would be out the door with no information about whether or not I'm subletting or to whom or for how much $$. You don't sign the paper, you don't make decisions.

While her rushing this all on you is a bit iffy, she appears to have been pretty fair as far as the financials go by offering you half of the surcharge she negotiated. I think the basic decent human being thing to do would be to go ahead and credit your roommate for the half of the surcharge.

 

Roommate shouldn't be negotiating a d a m n thing. She's not on the lease. She has ZERO responsibility.

Roommate shouldn't be negotiating a d a m n thing. She's not on the lease. She has ZERO responsibility.

That's subject to state law, the conditions of the primary lease itself, and whatever agreements between the OP and her roommate.

 

Here in NYC, it's not uncommon to have sublettees subletting from subleasees subleasing from leasees, each agreement being legally enforceable. Whether or not roommate is on the lease doesn't negate any contractual obligation between the OP and the roommate.

 

I can't speak absolutely to the legality of the OP pocketing all of the surcharge her roommate negotiated, but I'd be careful about accepting extra money from a sublettee paying on behalf of the of the subletter in any excess to what your roommate is obligated to pay.

Typically the sublettor (your roommate in this case) will take the money from the person they sublet to and in turn make the obligated payment themselves. Similar to I'm sure how your roommate provided you the check and you in turn provided the consolidated rent payment to your father.

 

Thanks for your opinion, But i've never ever... actually heard of such a thing.. She's not involved in recieving money from the person they sublet too because she's technically considered as "occupant" in my building. She was never on the lease... Again. I'm on the lease, not her. I'm the one living in the summer with the person Im subleasing too.... not her..."

Thanks for your opinion, But i've never ever... actually heard of such a thing.. She's not involved in recieving money from the person they sublet too because she's technically considered as "occupant" in my building. She was never on the lease... Again. I'm on the lease, not her. I'm the one living in the summer with the person Im subleasing too.... not her..."

I'm speaking to a chain of responsibility. The hierarchy from top to bottom would be:

 

1. You are the sole name on the lease, and as such, you are the only one legally obligated to provide the entirety of the rent to the lessor (your father or his representing firm).

2. You and your roommate have entered into a subleasing agreement. She is not responsible to the lessor, but she is legally responsible for providing you what you two agreed upon.

3. Your roommate has entered into a sub-subleasing agreement with this woman for the amount your roommate currently owes you in addition to a furniture surcharge. The sub-sublessee is responsible only for paying your roommate what they've agreed upon. The sub-sublettee paying you directly doesn't change that.

 

Your roommate's presence on the lease itself is irrelevant to the obligations each of you has to fulfill whatever personal agreements you've all reached. That's not my opinion, that's the law in most states, if not every one.

 

Again, I'd be careful about accepting and pocketing more money on behalf of your roommate than you two previously agreed to, if not for the sake of decency, then (potentially) legality.

 

...I dont even think it's fair to be giving half of the profit that I make, because essentially she never communicated to me that she was expecting the other half and secondly, im letting her keep all of her stuff here for FREE, she would have had to pay a storage unit that costs her $100/m with all her stuff.

 

What does "essentially" mean in this context? She either did or she didn't communicate this, and it sounds like she did.

Will the new roommate be using any of the old roommate's stuff that she's leaving? Does the stuff impede on your living in any way?

 

I think overall you asked if it was fair, but you really believe that your view is fair and in that case, nothing anyone says here will change that.

 

You could just scrap the whole new subletter situation and find your own. But it sounds as though your old roommate saved you some work.

 

I also think that all the stuff you wrote previously to what I quoted here is irrelevant to what's happening with the financial situation. If you're that unhappy with her as a roommate and don't want her to come back, then establish that now.

Since dad owns the property, its not the same as a third party landlord - if you are on the lease - you should choose who lives with you. Personally, I would terminate the agreement with the roommate. I would in the future not sublease over the summer unless its someone YOU want. I would either set new groundrules that there are NO parties at your place at all. With a new roommate you might have better luck if you tell them upfront you are looking for someone who does not have parties, no smoking,etc. I could put up with a few dishes in the sink over being verbally abused!

Actually I am, because my father is the landlord and my name is on the lease..

also, there was no contract/written statement agreeing to the fact that I owe her money from this girl subleasing...

 

My current roommate is not on the lease, I am. Just me..

Then why are you even having a dilemma about this? You dictate to HER what will be happening and then end the conversation.

[got too lazy]

I don't think I've ever heard of "friends" making good roommates.

 

In EVERY situation, the people end up not being friends anymore.

 

You can't know how someone is day to day unless you live together. And lots of times (most of the time?) you see things you don't like and can't live with.

 

As for the sublease, I agree with j.man in that your roommate only owes you the amount you two agreed on. Nothing more.

 

If you don't want her keeping her things there for free, insist she move them out and put them in storage. Problem solved.

3. Your roommate has entered into a sub-subleasing agreement with this woman for the amount your roommate currently owes you in addition to a furniture surcharge. The sub-sublessee is responsible only for paying your roommate what they've agreed upon. The sub-sublettee paying you directly doesn't change that.

 

Jman - In the OP's post ahead of your post I am quoting, the OP seems to clarify that while the roommate found the sublettor, the OP is actually the one subletting...even though it also sounds like the roommate also negotiated terms...which is odd.

Jman - In the OP's post ahead of your post I am quoting, the OP seems to clarify that while the roommate found the sublettor, the OP is actually the one subletting...even though it also sounds like the roommate also negotiated terms...which is odd.

I'm going off the basis of her saying "we are subleasing to her at a higher rate." Depending on whether she meant that formally or informally, you may be right. It's all very convoluted. Between the multi-tiered occupancies and the partying, I could see daddy coming along and "simplifying" things.

Any "agreement" between you and your current roommate doesn't mean anything unless it's written on paper and signed. Verbal agreements are nothing but "he said she said" that no one really cares about.

I don't think I've ever heard of "friends" making good roommates.

 

In EVERY situation, the people end up not being friends anymore.

 

You can't know how someone is day to day unless you live together. And lots of times (most of the time?) you see things you don't like and can't live with.

 

Actually, I've lived with friends most of my life and it's worked out rather well. The very few challenging roommate situations I had were with two people I didn't know.

 

Being able to live with anyone (siblings, parents, friends, spouses, etc.) takes compromise. Unless one plans to live alone forever, it's probably a good idea to learn how to live with others peacefully.

I could see daddy coming along and "simplifying" things.

 

Honestly j.man stop being such a girl, when someone doesnt agree with you.

I'm still a person with a situation going on, and I don't appreciate your ridiculous sass on the internet.

Honestly j.man stop being such a girl, when someone doesnt agree with you.

I'm still a person with a situation going on, and I don't appreciate your ridiculous sass on the internet.

 

Oh for goodness sakes. His response(s) have nothing to do with being agree or disagreed with. The jist of the situation is:

 

You have complete power in this situation and you aren't able to handle it on your own of with the help of your landlord father so you have come here for differing opinions and advise (and insights like the one you are offended with) Surely you are going to get some that you don't agree with its the nature of the beast

 

Thing is if she were to take you to court, she would only be made to pay you what you and she agreed to everything else she was able to negotiate with the sublease would be hers. However, the LANDLORD would have to approve who was and wasn't able to take over. Just have your father disprove the new sub let and be done with your "roomy" for good. Even if there is no written lease yours and her actions have implied that there is a tenant/landlord agreement in place... that's just as good as any paper it is written on where I live.

 

Edited to add...

Any "agreement" between you and your current roommate doesn't mean anything unless it's written on paper and signed. Verbal agreements are nothing but "he said she said" that no one really cares about.

 

Definitely not necessarily true when there has been money exchanged for housing which in this case there appears to be "implied consent"

 

"Implied consent is consent which is not expressly granted by a person, but rather implicitly granted by a person's actions and the facts and circumstances of a particular situation (or in some cases, by a person's silence or inaction)."

Honestly j.man stop being such a girl, when someone doesnt agree with you.

I'm still a person with a situation going on, and I don't appreciate your ridiculous sass on the internet.

"A situation." You want to pocket all of the furniture surcharge because you say most the furniture in the house is yours, but you know damn well that no one in their right mind is paying a penny extra for furniture if it doesn't at least include a bed to sleep on, which your friend happens to be providing. I don't think she's the "tricky" roommate in this situation.

 

As TWT said, you've got full control. You can dictate the terms, and if she doesn't agree, you can tell her "tough." If you really want, you can have dad come in with a formal 30/60 eviction notice (she'll still legally be considered a resident on or off the lease). Absent that, you've got two choices:

 

1. Credit the roommate for her half of the furniture charge.

2. Pocket it and deal with her disliking you even more.

 

Personally, I'd go with the option where I still get money I wouldn't have gotten otherwise and I don't have to deal with finding a new roommate because this one will hate my guts.