Confused if he will marry me or not?

I have met a guy who was my classmate earlier. We have been dating for an year and things went so good over time. Slowly, physical intimacy has started between us. The day has come when things went far and I have asked him to marry me on the same day. He took time for hours but later he told he needs time for at least two years. He is 23 years old now. Later, he communicates me that's not the real problem; he has an auto immune disease.. Kind of vitiligo. He has two White patches somewhere in his private areas and he would not marry until that is cured. He is on some homeopathic medication for that and told it would take him two years. Moreover, he confessed me that he loves me so much and there is no problem in marrying me except for the above one. He asked me to marry someone else as he doesn't want to ruin my life. Should I wait for him to marry me or should I directly meet his parents. I have learnt that vitiligo has got no side effects too. Please guide me what to do. I am really interested in marrying him.

What's with the big rush to get married? He's 23, I'm assuming you are his age or close. 23 is too young to get married!! How long have you even been dating this guy for? A year you said? That's definitely not long enough to get married. Yeah, some people get married in one year, or sooner. But it's a mistake. I think a proper time-frame as to propose to someone is three years minimum. I would honestly be kind of deterred from a girl if she asked me to marry her after only a year together too. I would say "no" as well no matter how wonderful you were.

My advice; back off on the thought of marriage. I promise you, if this guy loves you, you're NOT going to lose him or anything just because you two aren't married. Have fun dating him, get to know him more and more on a deeper level. You never even met his parents, I don't know how you could want to marry someone without having met their parents even one time. Just give it time... you should be fortunate and grateful you found someone that you have fallen in love with. You just need to keep letting your relationship grow over time. He doesn't even love you enough to choose him over his skin condition. A deeper connection and more time will make him realize that you don't care about those things. You haven't been together long enough for that to mean anything yet. If things go well, the day will come where he may propose to you.

You just have to be patient and enjoy spending your time with him. Don't force this guy into the thought of marriage or he will run. It's simply too soon for this. Don't fall for family or social pressure either, eg. if your friends are getting married and whatnot. Your life is your life. If you want to do what is in my opinion the "right" thing to do, then don't try to make this guy marry you, at least not so soon.

You want to meet his parents and discuss the white patches on his doodle? Really??

Vitiligo has no cure. Homeopathic remedies certainly won't cure it lol.

You had sex and now think you must get married?

This is 2016!!! Just clarifying because it sounds like I am in a time warp?

I have to agree with Billie, the Vitiligo aside, this all sounds a bit much after only a year. He is still young enough not to be ready for marriage NOW, even if he thinks marrying you in the future is something he wants.

How old are you?

I do find his answer a bit odd too .... he asked you to marry someone else? It all sounds a bit Victorian.

I don't understand why there is so much emphasis on getting married. Why can't you just enjoy being in a relationship at this early stage? A year is nothing when you are thinking of spending a lifetime together.

It sounds to me like they are from a different culture where getting married young and talking about marriage early is the norm.

What if you tell him Vitiligo can't be cured and that you don't mind it, see what he says?

It sounds to me like they are from a different culture where getting married young and talking about marriage early is the norm.

 

What if you tell him Vitiligo can't be cured and that you don't mind it, see what he says?

Yes that was my thought. There seems to be a certain amount of pressure to be married.

Just because its 2016 doesnt mean everyone on the planet is having sex outside wed-lock and running around cheating or being some girl at a college party. Id rather go back in time to where i actually liked men!

Gloworm, what year did you like men that you would like to go back to?

My comment on what year it was, was not suggestive or condoning people having sex at college parties. It was to do with thinking that having sex automatically means marraige.

This girl had sex and now thinks he has to marry her. I couldn't care less if it's a cultural thing. The guy clearly had no problem having sex with her despite their culture yet now is saying his spotty is a reason not to marry her.

But his spotty was perfectly fine to have sex.

And that, Billie, is a perfect summing-up. Yes.

I just want to make clear that we had no sex we are from a different culture where sex before marriage is a serious offence. And yeah, am not gonna talk about vitiligo to his parents, rather ask them about our marriage officially

What's the culture specifically?

To me, what he said sounds like the brush off. He even told you to marry someone else. I'd say move on and listen to him. If marriage is what you want, find someone you don't have to convince.

Our culture may sound odd, but in the reality, it's the girl's parents who has to approach the guy's family and ask for his son to marry their daughter. And typically this whole thing of marriage and searching for alliances starts right from girl's of age 18 and above. But luckily, in my family it started from 23.

Regardless of culture, this man does NOT want to marry you.

I believe that even within the culture he has a right to decline and that he has done.

He simply gave you an excuse ( a lame one ) .

Yes, since he declined you already, wouldn't it be going against his wishes to have your family approach his to talk marriage?