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Thread: Somewhere in between indifference, confusion, and sadness

  1. #41
    Silver Member
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    Originally Posted by Raindrop22
    Calling him sounds viable but it's also probably best if you texted.
    Calling makes him feel like he has to tell you then and there what's going on and that can put a lot of pressure on him - yourself included.
    Texting allows the chance for both of you to think and have no pressure -- at least not as much.

    Maybe you can say something agreeable to what he had said. Like "Hey, if it's any consolation, I also feel that these issues are things we can work out".
    Men need things to be spelt out to them! Haha

    Sounds good to me. I'll send him a text. Hopefully everything will be ok.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Good luck!!

  3. #43
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    Keep us updated. I have a good feeling things will workout. You two seem to really care for one another and all this pain and agony will be a thing of the past.

    Sending a lot of positive vibes your way.

  4. #44
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    What a ride!

    First and foremost, you guys have no idea how much your support and advice means to me.

    Raindrop22, I took your advice and sent a short text. I also stated that I hope anything I said didn't upset him.

    He replied shortly after saying no not at all. He said that he appreciated everything I said and that he just doesn't know what to say. He asked where do we go from here. I responded telling him that I think we should take things slow and see how we feel. The old relationship is over and that we should start new. I also told him that I wanted him in my life and that I'm not happy without him. I spoke from the heart. He responded saying that puts a smile on my face. I went on to say that when the time is right, we should put everything on the table once and then never talk about it again. We can forget the mistakes of the past and then move forward. I said communication is key and I know you're going to help me with that. He responded immediately saying perfect! I'm not perfect and I need you to help me be the best I can be. I wished him a good night and said we would talk soon. He wrote back saying have a great night. I miss you.


    I'm at ease now. I want things to progress naturally and the real test comes as we start to spend more time with eachother. I realize he is not a person who can handle a lot of pressure and he doesn't communicate well at all. I have faith in that we will be there for eachother. I really hope I don't ever lose sight of that. I will constantly remind myself of the silent hell I've been living in these past 2 months. I will never forget this experience for as long as I live.

    I will be back to post more updates.

    Wow...I can finally go to sleep with peace of mind tonight. I hope my story gives inspiration and hope.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    This story makes me so happy! Best of luck to you. It all sounds great to me

  7. #46
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    Oh my heart! This makes me so happy to read. I was so excited for you just reading your last post. I am so happy to have come across your forum and to be of any help.
    It looks like you're on this path to reconcile and things are headed in the right direction.

    Good job in pointing out putting all your cards on the table and putting the past in the past. I'm wondering if you for that from this forum haha it seems like the thing to do I am proud and happy for you guys. Hope you're able to further update on the reconciliation process as time goes on.

    I hope to share my story if that were to ever happen.

    Much love!

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Realitynut's Avatar
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    /

    I was going to suggest reading this thread first, before responding to him. but too late! lol

    Just be on the look out, that even if you get back together, It just may not last! The problems that were there before, will still be there, and things will end even sooner.

    Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer. Ex fiancÚ and I were together 3 years. He met someone else. 4 months later he was back with me....only to go back with her 4 months later, and we were finished for good.

    Now my last guy...sheesh, Mr. Hot/cold guy. For 2 years. He kept running back cuz he was lonely. I would break down and text...I miss you. And he'd be in my driveway, wondering if he could come in!

    Sheesh. And he was 58 and I was 60! You'd think we'd know better by now.

    But in March it was over for good. He started hiking with an out of town group. Met 'her'. His "kindred' spirit...in his words.

    People keep telling me it won't last. Doesn't do me any good. Who wants to be thrown over for another woman?

    I hope things do go will for you. I was always so happy when I got back together again...only to be 'dumped' a few weeks later. ugh

    Spring time....New Beginnings! Finger's crossed.....

  9. #48
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    Though I agree with Realitynut, I also can see that during these 2 months you had so much to think about and realize. You've had time to introspect a lot and focus on how you felt and what part you played in this relationship.

    Things don't work out when people don't change. But it can workout if a lot of thinking and changes are made. Since y'all are taking it slow, that's good! Getting to slowly re-learn and putting down new expectations and boundaries. But it'll come from a place of love, patience, and compassion.

    Sometimes two people need to fall apart to fall back together even stronger!

  10. #49
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    Love is a risk. No matter how you look at it. You weigh the pros and cons and make the best decision you can...either way, you have to follow your heart and move forward with a positive attitude. Most importantly, I have faith.

    I've thought of every possible outcome and I'm willing to take the risk. We are moving slow and careful. When I met him, we were two fools in love. We wanted to spend every waking moment with eachother. I've realized that we have some serious communication issues, but this experience taught me so much. I learned some very valuable lessons. The knowledge and experience I've gained is going to help me through things this time around. A lot of time and effort was spent on correcting my mistakes. Have I changed? Maybe, maybe not. People don't change over night. I will say, I am a work in progress and if him and I work together to help eachother, we will have a healthy, long lasting relationship. I have high hopes for us. Nothing in this world is fail proof. God knows I've failed in relationships many times. This time around, I have a completely different attitude and I'm fully committed to working hard. We are going to be ok. I will be ok.

    This morning we spoke a little here and there about our morning and what our days would consist of. I'm not pushing to see him just yet. Maybe this weekend. I miss him so much, but I'm not trying to push anything. I'm just going to let things settle into place on their own. Going with the flow. I feel a sense of peace. I spent the last 2 months in anxiety and sadness. Just enjoying this moment right now.

    Thank you all for your help and support.

  11. #50
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    Wow, so much has happened since I was last here! I'm sorry for being MIA for a couple of days, Ksol. I had a lot to do and got behind on everything. But I see that you got some very wise advice in my absence I am SO happy for you! I agree that things sound like they're on a really good track. I may have suggested staying NC, so I'm actually really glad I wasn't here to advise - raindrop's advice seems to have been right on target.

    I've learned a lot from reading your posts, and you've inspired me to try a more direct, honest, compassionate, and mature approach moving forward with my own guy. I need to take the time to do what you did - really think about the negative things I bring into the relationship, and work on changing them. So thank you for that. I'll say again, you're a wonderful writer, and I enjoyed reading your thoughts.

    Best of luck to you, and please do keep us updated!

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