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Thread: Somewhere in between indifference, confusion, and sadness

  1. #31
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    Thank you lostlove76, mustlovedogs, and raindrop22.

    I'm really excited about all of these recent developments. I've managed to hold my composure somehow. Patience is really key right now. I haven't heard anything from him since the last text I sent to him. Maybe he thinks I'm supposed to read between the lines and take charge from here? Not really sure. He didn't say directly he wanted to reconcile but he clearly implied that he made a rash decision and he wants me in his life because he is lonely. I accepted the apology as graceful as I could, but I'm just waiting for what's next. I have so many emotions...I'm just grateful to have come to this point. I went through some serious dark times and although things look they are going in the right direction between us, I'm still not getting my hopes up because I don't really know for sure what is going to happen. I may not hear from him again. Is this my cue to step in or do I just wait?? I can't even explain how I feel. I'm anxious, scared, happy, I'm not even sure. What I am sure of is that I feel very grateful that he is somewhat back in my life.

    Hopefully, I'll be back later with some more updates.

  2. #32
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    Home from work early today. Haven't heard back from him and I'm starting to wonder. My mind is just going in places that will get me in trouble again. I'm wondering if the text I last sent was a wrong move. Maybe he feels that he said everything he should say and I should make the next move? Oh gosh this is killing me. If only patience came easy.

    Providing that he doesn't like to communicate and I know it was nerve wracking for him to say what he said yesterday, I'm thinking he doesn't know what to say from this point forward. Do I wait, do I contact? I'm confused. Maybe he just wanted to offer an apology then end of story. He left me hanging and I'm beginning to feel dumb for expressing my feelings yesterday. What would you guys do if you were in my situation?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    I would TOTALLY feel the exact same way as you if I were in your position. But I have an outside perspective and that helps If reaching out again is too hard, what else would be "too hard" for him in your relationship? He needs to work for you again.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    And, your responses to him were great. You didn't screw up.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I would TOTALLY feel the exact same way as you if I were in your position. But I have an outside perspective and that helps If reaching out again is too hard, what else would be "too hard" for him in your relationship? He needs to work for you again.
    You are absolutely correct. I didn't think of it from that perspective. Communication was one of the major issues we had before breaking up. Just like he mustered up the courage to contact me a couple days ago, he should go a step further. I can't read his mind, but I have an idea of what he is trying to say by his recent texts. I'll wait it out. I've been without him for 2 months. A little longer isn't going to kill me. I need to keep reminding myself not to jump the gun. I'm going to sit tight. Hopefully I'll have another update soon.

    Thanks again!

  7. #36
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    Oh the agony of the waiting game. The suspense! I am can see why you'd be feeling so many mixed emotions.

    From what you said in your last response, do you think maybe, just maybe he would take it as "this break up taught me a lot, it made me see and learn a lot about myself". Do you think he might feel like you're glad it happened and you're moving on?
    It's hard to know but I tried putting myself in his shoes because I been there before. My ex texted saying he found the breakup was a wake up call and he learned a lot. I didn't think much of it other then I was glad and that he seemed to have moved on with his life so I didn't respond to it.
    Not to freak you out, we never exchanged that we missed one another though. It was a no turning back situation. I left because he was abusive. Different story! But that type of text maybe could had given a certain impression that you moved on?

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by Raindrop22
    Oh the agony of the waiting game. The suspense! I am can see why you'd be feeling so many mixed emotions.

    From what you said in your last response, do you think maybe, just maybe he would take it as "this break up taught me a lot, it made me see and learn a lot about myself". Do you think he might feel like you're glad it happened and you're moving on?
    It's hard to know but I tried putting myself in his shoes because I been there before. My ex texted saying he found the breakup was a wake up call and he learned a lot. I didn't think much of it other then I was glad and that he seemed to have moved on with his life so I didn't respond to it.
    Not to freak you out, we never exchanged that we missed one another though. It was a no turning back situation. I left because he was abusive. Different story! But that type of text maybe could had given a certain impression that you moved on?

    I kid you not...I was just thinking this exact thing. I went back and read what I wrote and there was nothing in my text that said I wanted to reconcile. It could very well seem that I am saying I learned a lot from the experience and I am moving on with my life. I was just thinking the exact same thing you said. I don't know what to do because that could very well be the case and if it is, I need to say something to him. This is the problem with not communicating directly. I don't know what to do now. Or maybe I misunderstood his text...maybe he was just apologizing nothing more.

    It sucks that I have to be so strategic.

  9. #38
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    I don't think he would apologize and say that you guys could have worked on the issues.
    When a guy leaves and moves on, he just does it. He won't waste time sending a nice apology text. And if he does, he'd sound distant. It seems like his text wasn't at all that distant.
    Maybe the ball is still in your park. It's a tricky situation. But you're also dealing with someone who doesn't communicate well. He hasn't had the experience of you begging/pleading. In his mind, he has no real way of knowing if you still want him especially after what he did (end things). When the dumper ends things with someone they care about, they have a huge feeling of guilt. They hurt you so badly. So they have to deal with that hurt also. His apology was likely to make sure you know he didnt like how it ended. He felt horrible for it.
    He's likely looking for some way in. Seeing if theres a chance.
    I only know what you've shared though so it's hard to really know.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by Raindrop22
    I don't think he would apologize and say that you guys could have worked on the issues.
    When a guy leaves and moves on, he just does it. He won't waste time sending a nice apology text. And if he does, he'd sound distant. It seems like his text wasn't at all that distant.
    Maybe the ball is still in your park. It's a tricky situation. But you're also dealing with someone who doesn't communicate well. He hasn't had the experience of you begging/pleading. In his mind, he has no real way of knowing if you still want him especially after what he did (end things). When the dumper ends things with someone they care about, they have a huge feeling of guilt. They hurt you so badly. So they have to deal with that hurt also. His apology was likely to make sure you know he didnt like how it ended. He felt horrible for it.
    He's likely looking for some way in. Seeing if theres a chance.
    I only know what you've shared though so it's hard to really know.
    I think you've made a very good point and that is my thinking now that I've gone back and read my response to him. He was telling me that he thinks we could have worked things out. I responded by telling him that the break up hurt me but ultimately I learned a lot. I told him that there hasn't been a day
    I haven't thought about him but that I just kept telling myself that sometimes good things don't last forever. I can see how my text could be mistaken for me being ok with the breakup.

    I'm about to panick, but I have to remind myself to remain calm. Im going to send him a light text or call him. Hopefully he will respond. I don't want to pressure him.

  11. #40
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    Calling him sounds viable but it's also probably best if you texted.
    Calling makes him feel like he has to tell you then and there what's going on and that can put a lot of pressure on him - yourself included.
    Texting allows the chance for both of you to think and have no pressure -- at least not as much.

    Maybe you can say something agreeable to what he had said. Like "Hey, if it's any consolation, I also feel that these issues are things we can work out".
    Men need things to be spelt out to them! Haha

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