*super long read*

I moved to America (from England) in the summer and a week after I had settled in I met a guy on a mountain (super romantic I know).

We started texting - a lot - before going on some perfect dates that are still some of the happiest memories of my entire life. It was a slow start but was perfect for us and we fell hard for each other. The thing is he's in the military and we knew when we met that he was going to be deploying in June. He also has two children from a previous relationship and a very possessive (slightly crazy) baby momma to go with them.

He lived four hours away from me and I would try and travel to see him most weekends, every time I did it was really good and we had a great time UNTIL just before Christmas when people started stirring the pot a little. People he worked with (girls) would tell me little things that were different to what he had told me and while it didn't cause arguments between us it caused a little friction. Over Christmas I didn't see him much and suddenly his contact went down to nearly nothing- I barely heard from him and it scared me - so I kept asking whether or not he was thinking of bailing...understandable if he's deploying...and I asked that if he was that he tell me sooner rather than later because I had fallen in love with him.

He kept assuring me he wasn't thinking of that and started to get annoyed with my questioning, but his behavior just wasn't saying what he was. On NYE we went to a party and again someone told me a whole pile of stuff about him, telling me he was still with his baby momma and a whole host of other stuff. It threw me and ended in us arguing in a big way.

BUT we were fine, he still wanted us and we were okay, although it did send my worries into over drive.

My birthday (the middle of January) came around and while he was in the shower a naked picture came through on his iPad from another girl. After confronting him he broke down, apologized and begged me to stay. For the rest of January and most of February we were perfect, I even looked after his kids for a week. We were back to how we were at the beginning; he had realized he didn't want to lose me and that he really did love me.

It later transpired though that it wasn't just pictures, he'd cheated. I only found this out a week before he was due to go on predeployment training and so we never got a chance to properly talk through it and deal with it. It hit me hard especially because his arguement was "I'd decided I was going to bail" when he's allowed me to feel crazy for worrying about that same thing! I was heart broken: this is the man I love more than anything and I wasn't enough for him and yet, because of what's going on with his life, we never had a chance to talk about it and for him to try and fix it and I don't know whether that bothered him.

I saw him for the weekend this past weekend and it was the best time we've had in so long; there was no drama, just us and we spoke about the pros and cons of us staying together given everything and both decided that we are worth it.

But now that I'm not with him I barely hear from him, even when he's free he doesn't contact me and I'm scared less.

He doesn't know what he's going to do when he comes home; he has two kids, I don't have permanent residency and there's a lot of other things that are going to make this hard. Not to mention he's deploying for 9 months. BUT while if it gets hard I'll just try harder I think that he'll just quit and I just don't know what to do.

I love this man but because of everything I am slightly insecure. I know he loves me but I just never hear from him if I'm not with him.

Am I being daft?

Leave. He's cheated, lied, I mean where do you see any positives.

If you don't leave, don't expect much sympathy. You're an adult so do the adult thing.

BUT while if it gets hard I'll just try harder I think that he'll just quit and I just don't know what to do.

Why do you want to be with someone who you think would just quit the relationship anyway, has cheated on you, has lied to you, and is now not contacting you?

Think about this.

Because when we're together we're unbelievable. And I do think we're very compatible I just think that he quits things when things get hard

Because when we're together we're unbelievable. And I do think we're very compatible I just think that he quits things when things get hard

Don't you want to be with someone who is "unbelievable" when you're together and when you're apart?

Don't you want a healthy relationship?

Because when we're together we're unbelievable. And I do think we're very compatible I just think that he quits things when things get hard

Well, if you're compatible with a lying cheater you have some problems you may need to address.

Are you daft to be in love with a lying, cheating scumbag? Yes. You know that. Dude must be something else in bed though....about the only excuse you've got for being so hooked on this creep. Hope you are using protection and checking yourself for STD's regularly though. Talk about playing with fire.

"I know he loves me but I just never hear from him if I'm not with him". Um, no, he doesn't love you. How can someone love you if you never even hear from them? Someone that loves you would contact you all the time. Also someone that loves you wouldn't cheat on you. Many different people told you different things about him cheating with baby mumma and now this woman too. Don't you think where there's smoke, there's fire? Why would many people tell you something if it's not true? Trust me, this guy is not anywhere near as into you as you are not him. And that's really obvious from your post. And yeah I'm sure he WOULD just give up on you as easy as that. If he's leaving for the army for nine months, I'm sure he's thinking that will be an easy exit for him to make out of your relationship. After all, there will be other women along the way for him to bang. I'm really sorry he's done this to you but you can do so much better. Don't settle for this.