Should I tell my ex I lost our baby.

Me and my ex split up because he would be verbally abusive at times and put me down swell as having angry outbursts. He knew I was pregnant as soon as I found out and was excited at first but didn't take responsibility and only was there for his family and friends not supporting me or the baby. I don't think he cared even after the breakup he made no mention of the baby just how the place was empty cause I moved out all my furniture which I thought was ridiculous.All he did after the breakup was stress me out and threaten me even though he knew I was pregnant and that wasn't good for me. He only cared about himself I was 14 weeks along and lost the baby yesterday. it would have been his first boy he has two daughters. I was thinking about telling the ex a part of me wished he was at the hospital yesterday for me. I looked at his fb and just saw pics of himself partying with friends. Which shows he hasn't shaped up. He also moved a girl in 1 day after the breakup not sure if she's still there. But that hurt and showed how immature he is. What do you think does he have a right to know. We are gonna make funeral arrangements soon. I don't know if he should be a part of it

First I am so sorry about the loss of your baby. Take time to grieve and be kind and gentle with yourself. Hospitals often offer grief councelling for infant loss you may need that.

As for him, he will compound your grief. I don't think you will get much sympathy from him. Surround yourself with people who love you during this time.

First I am so sorry about the loss of your baby. Take time to grieve and be kind and gentle with yourself. Hospitals often offer grief councelling for infant loss you may need that.

 

As for him, he will compound your grief. I don't think you will get much sympathy from him. Surround yourself with people who love you during this time.

I agree with this completely.

Also, be thoughtful how you speak to yourself. The convention is to say "I lost..." even though we didn't do anything. When I had this happen, I said "I had a miscarriage." It felt like something medical happened to me.

I also lost a baby at 16 weeks. I was very devistated for at least 5 years. That is not to say that you will be but it takes about an average about two years to grieve a miscarriage.

We also had a funeral for our son. I think it provides a certain amount of closure.

First I am so sorry about the loss of your baby. Take time to grieve and be kind and gentle with yourself. Hospitals often offer grief councelling for infant loss you may need that.

 

As for him, he will compound your grief. I don't think you will get much sympathy from him. Surround yourself with people who love you during this time.

I agree completely about surrounding yourself with your friends and family. I also agree that you can't expect or coerce any kind of sympathy or support from him.

I do think he deserves to know and that you should tell him. But you should tell him without any expectations of any kind in how he'll react or of any support he'll offer to you. It's just conveying a piece of information and then moving on.

I am very sorry for your loss and hope you can get better soon. About your question, I think that it doesn´t matter how much of a bad person (aka jer k) He is, He deserves to know. Just let him know and go no contact, lean on your friends and family.

Best wishes!

What you could do is have a family member or friend tell him of the loss . I would not have contact with him yourself as you are in a far too fragile place . He does deserve to know but he doesn't deserve to treat you like crap . So have someone let him know and then have no contact with him .

What you could do is have a family member or friend tell him of the loss . I would not have contact with him yourself as you are in a far too fragile place . He does deserve to know but he doesn't deserve to treat you like crap . So have someone let him know and then have no contact with him .

I think this is really good advice, there is an added implied message there that you are not looking to reconnect by having someone else tell him. Having him on your Facebook isn't helping because you are looking at his actions through the grief that you are going through. There is nothing wrong with having a good time, and on Facebook we tend to try to advertise when we are having a good time with friends, but for you this is just adding another layer of difficult emotions on top of what is happening. You would do well to delete him from your Facebook as well.

Okay I had a family member tell him about it. But all he responded back was that when I am able to he would like to hear it from me... Im not sure why or what to do.

Im sorry for your loss