My bf is on drugs

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and my relationship has only taken a turn for the worst. At first we were both very happy and excited about us becoming new parents but after my bf lost his job things have went bad. He now does nothing but sells and takes drugs. Before this I knew he smoked weed occasionally but I had never seen him do anything harder then that. I have found out though from a close friend he has been snorting coke and taking a drug called molly. He has changed so much as well. He is constantly moody and angry all of the time unless he is on something. I recently moved out hoping he would stop but he has only tried harder to hide it. I can tell when he is messed up though just by looking at him. He is a completely different person from who I used to know. I feel like my only option now is to leave him but it is so hard to do. I have always had issues with not being able to be alone but I know that I must be strong for son. My heart is hurting so much and every time I try and come up with something to tell him I end up crying myself to sleep. I just don't know how I am going to end this.

stay strong. he needs rehab. so sorry for u.

Do you have friends and family who can help you? I think that perhaps you can lean on them while you try to be more of a strong/independent single mom.

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and my relationship has only taken a turn for the worst. At first we were both very happy and excited about us becoming new parents but after my bf lost his job things have went bad. He now does nothing but sells and takes drugs. Before this I knew he smoked weed occasionally but I had never seen him do anything harder then that. I have found out though from a close friend he has been snorting coke and taking a drug called molly. He has changed so much as well. He is constantly moody and angry all of the time unless he is on something. I recently moved out hoping he would stop but he has only tried harder to hide it. I can tell when he is messed up though just by looking at him. He is a completely different person from who I used to know. I feel like my only option now is to leave him but it is so hard to do. I have always had issues with not being able to be alone but I know that I must be strong for son. My heart is hurting so much and every time I try and come up with something to tell him I end up crying myself to sleep. I just don't know how I am going to end this.

You stay strong and you stay gone knowing that you are doing the best thing for yourself and most importantly, your son to be. You DO NOT want your son being brought up in the drug environment do you? You don't want your son seeing a miserable role model like a drug addict do you? You don't want the type of people that buy drugs around your son do you? You want the best possible life and the most positive role models around you son. That is enough reason for you to leave this man and keep him gone.

Go see a lawyer and find out what your rights are as far as getting sole custody and hitting him up for child support. Perhaps if he's being made to be accountable for his decisions in life, he'll get the help he needs or, he'll end up in jail for non payment of child support and get the detox and rehab he needs to get off drugs.

If you take him back or you don't break up with him then you are enabling him to be the reprobate that he is. Don't allow him in your life for both yours and your baby to be's best future.

Don't over complicate this. All you need to say is, "I won't have a drug addict around my son. We are done. Get out. If you ever get clean and get your act back together, then we can discuss you being a part of our lives again. Thanks. Bye."

That's it. Also, you are not alone. You have a child. Effectively means that you will never be alone again even if you wanted to.

Coke you said? RUN FAST AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

Hell you you should break up, if you don't, expect your life and your child's life to be misery going forward (from every single aspect).

DO NOT assume he will change......also don't forget, cokeheads are the masters of "hiding their addiction".

Break things into small steps. No one expects for this to happen all at once. Create small, doable ways, to start taking your focus off of the addict. Here are some practical tips and suggestions for how you can start doing this:

1. Before contemplating separating yourself emotionally or physically from the addict, find a support network. This can be a community group, friends, family members or anyone who is aware of your situation and will be there to help support you. Pick a group or someone who inspires you. When you leave a conversation with your support of choice you should feel better, less afraid and more motivated.

2. Create a list, mentally, or an actual list of actions you know you need to change. Pick things that will stop you from becoming engulfed in what the addict is doing wrong. For example, the next time the addict is out “using,” do not call them, instead talk to your support person and refrain from trying to get them home or get them help.

3. Every time you slip up on your list, do not beat yourself up. Self-love and care is something you need more than ever. If you had it to begin with, things may have not progressed to this point.

4. Find activities that you enjoy which don’t involve the addict. Force yourself to start doing them! Take a walk, breathe deeply, take a bath,read a novel, see a movie, or anything you used to enjoy before your life became unmanageable.

5. Walk Away! Instead of arguing with the addict, force yourself to leave an unhealthy discussion you know will only escalate and get you upset.

6. Visualize the life you want and the life you can have if addiction was not part of it. Write it down and say it to yourself every day. Every single day when you get out of bed.

You may feel like a fraud at first, but slowly, these actions will give you an emotional detachment you didn’t think you could have. You will actually feel less affected and consumed by what the addict is doing. In the beginning, this may be forced, but when you find joy or can culminate a genuine laugh again,you are on the road to letting go.

I can relate, as I too, found out that my ex was a drug addict ( just a few months into my pregnancy.)

It's been a difficult roller coaster when trying to work on a relationship with an addict. He's been clean for almost 18 months so far-- but it's been no walk in the park.

Look up Naranon meetings near you. I recently have been attending and it definitely helps to hear others stories and the positive message of how to go forward in your life and finding peace and serenity. I'm currently in the process myself, but going to these meetings are helping me deal with the anger, frustration and hurt when a loved one in your life is an addict.