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Keeping memories of your past


Tranquillo

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Share your thoughts and opinions on what you think about keeping things from your past such as gifts given from your exes or letters/texts/emails recieved by them.

 

I found some old letters from a girl i dislike kept by my SO (they're just friends but I don't like her as i find her to be bossy and attention seeker type) - unknown to him (yet) i ripped those letters and threw them away (oops). Yeh wasnt a good thing to do but its done now.

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Whenever I've broken up, I get a green garbage bag and toss out all the stuff that reminds me of them. I then delete all pictures of them. I basically pour gasoline on the bridge and burn it.

 

But I do know a lot of women that have kept a lot of reminders of relationships past. No right or wrong answer, it's whatever works for you.

 

After all, they had a life before they met you. They shouldn't have to destroy all traces of it.

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Share your thoughts and opinions on what you think about keeping things from your past such as gifts given from your exes or letters/texts/emails recieved by them.

 

I found some old letters from a girl i dislike kept by my SO (they're just friends but I don't like her as i find her to be bossy and attention seeker type) - unknown to him (yet) i ripped those letters and threw them away (oops). Yeh wasnt a good thing to do but its done now.

Sorry for the straight forward, no holds barred response... but since you asked: I'm thinking that You will be lucky if he stays with you. Your actions are of someone who is incapable of communication, obsessive in your need to control, interfering in other peoples personal business and immature to the nth degree.

 

You should look within to find out what makes you so insecure over letters that you'd destroy them before even asking the owner about why he keeps them.

 

Sorry, but shame on you.

 

As for my thoughts on keeping things from the past. As long as he's not displaying them openly and having a need to look at them frequently (which indicates he is still quite attached to the author) I could care less. Being able to have that resolve makes for a far happier existence since I'm not obsessed/jealous in general or over trivial matters like letters. pffft. If I felt as threatened and childish as you did that I felt a need to destroy personal property over it, I would first indeed be discussing my anxiety with my partner and at least given him a chance to remedy by destroying them himself. You should try that, luv.... you'd feel much better about everything in regards to him and you'd not have the untasteful job of now telling him what you did to his stuff.

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Whenever I've broken up, I get a green garbage bag and toss out all the stuff that reminds me of them. I then delete all pictures of them. I basically pour gasoline on the bridge and burn it.

 

But I do know a lot of women that have kept a lot of reminders of relationships past. No right or wrong answer, it's whatever works for you.

 

After all, they had a life before they met you. They shouldn't have to destroy all traces of it.

Good for you girl.. I like your attitude.

 

I'm the sentimental type and like to keep old memories. I have old email accounts from decade ago I've kept alive hehe. Things like gifts from exes...I like to get rid off as well. I keep memories as a reminder of what was.. not to remember the people who were part of my life once.

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Sorry for the straight forward, no holds barred response... but since you asked: I'm thinking that You will be lucky if he stays with you. Your actions are of someone who is incapable of communication, obsessive in your need to control, interfering in other peoples personal business and immature to the nth degree.

 

You should look within to find out what makes you so insecure over letters that you'd destroy them before even asking the owner about why he keeps them.

 

Sorry, but shame on you.

 

As for my thoughts on keeping things from the past. As long as he's not displaying them openly and having a need to look at them frequently (which indicates he is still quite attached to the author) I could care less. Being able to have that resolve makes for a far happier existence since I'm not obsessed/jealous in general or over trivial matters like letters. pffft. If I felt as threatened and childish as you did that I felt a need to destroy personal property over it, I would first indeed be discussing my anxiety with my partner and at least given him a chance to remedy by destroying them himself. You should try that, luv.... you'd feel much better about everything in regards to him and you'd not have the untasteful job of now telling him what you did to his stuff.

I was actually asking your thought or opinion on what you think about keeping old things from the past not what you think about what I did or what you assume he will do but thanks anyways. Yeh it was immature but it would be more immature of him if he leaves me for something so trivial. I know why I destroyed it.. I didn't want something of someone I dislike in my presence so I got rid of it.

 

Ps- I'm not going to tell him.. he will find out himself whenever he decides to look for them (which will be never hopefully )

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I was actually asking your thought or opinion on what you think about keeping old things from the past not what you think about what I did or what you assume he will do but thanks anyways. Yeh it was immature but it would be more immature of him if he leaves me for something so trivial. I know why I destroyed it.. I didn't want something of someone I dislike in my presence so I got rid of it.

 

Ps- I'm not going to tell him.. he will find out himself whenever he decides to look for them (which will be never hopefully )

 

Well: I hope that he goes to look at them sooner rather then later because he needs to know who he is with. Your actions will tell him what he needs to know and then at least he has an informed decision as to whether he continues on knowing what he knows about you.

 

I suspect there is more trouble in "paradise" as it is since I'm sure he knows how you feel about her but he keeps her in his life anyway.

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Wel i agree with clinton and thatwasthen,

I broke up with my ex, am totally done with him and don't even like him anymore, that said, i have kept everything he ever gave me, wrote me, stuff we did and all those reminders and if a new bf would ruin that or throw it out i would break up with him right there and then!

You don't do that, that's not your business, it's his choice to keep it and i can't believe you did that!

Even though I'm through with my ex i still want to keep that stuff and no one has a right to tear it up it throw it out!

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Yeh it was immature but it would be more immature of him if he leaves me for something so trivial.
At the very least, he should be asking for your ID to verify your age if he were to ever find out. Ripping up someone else's notes? I think I remember seeing a girl do that in like 4th grade.

 

What worries me more than you having done the deed is you considering it "trivial." Going through your boyfriend's ****, destroying his property, and hiding it are all incredibly immature things to do and you should be asking yourself some hard questions to address why you'd act in such a way.

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Share your thoughts and opinions on what you think about keeping things from your past such as gifts given from your exes or letters/texts/emails recieved by them.

 

I found some old letters from a girl i dislike kept by my SO (they're just friends but I don't like her as i find her to be bossy and attention seeker type) - unknown to him (yet) i ripped those letters and threw them away (oops). Yeh wasnt a good thing to do but its done now.

 

very immature.

 

 

I see the great communication in this situation.

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I am wearing earrings today, that my first ex gave to me let’s say 21 years ago. They are my favourite and I wear them almost every day for work. I still have some other memories, that I keep in a box and I don’t intend to throw them away. I don’t destroy the pictures either. We had a good relationship for almost 10 years, but it did not work out in the end.

 

I threw away things of my second ex, almost everything, but I still have the vacation pictures (digital). He is on a couple of them. I really don’t go through all of my pictures and delete each and every one where he is on. They are on my laptop, they stay there.

 

I am 47 and I have a past. I don’t erase my past because of insecurities of a potential partner.

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I will add that what you did was wrong and would not be considered trivial by many people. It would not be immature of him to break up with you over it.

I know it was wrong.. but I disagree about how many view it as not trivial. If someone did that to my things. .I would be mad but then get over it.. relationship would matter to me more than losing some past materialistic thing. Each to their own.

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Well: I hope that he goes to look at them sooner rather then later because he needs to know who he is with. Your actions will tell him what he needs to know and then at least he has an informed decision as to whether he continues on knowing what he knows about you.

 

I suspect there is more trouble in "paradise" as it is since I'm sure he knows how you feel about her but he keeps her in his life anyway.

I'm not the type who stops a person from keeping someone in their life..that would be immature. Keeping letters is not same as keeping someone in your life.. or is it?

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I know it was wrong.. but I disagree about how many view it as not trivial. If someone did that to my things. .I would be mad but then get over it.. relationship would matter to me more than losing some past materialistic thing. Each to their own.

 

thats you. you didn't even communicate the issue to him before taking it into your own hands.

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Wel i agree with clinton and thatwasthen,

I broke up with my ex, am totally done with him and don't even like him anymore, that said, i have kept everything he ever gave me, wrote me, stuff we did and all those reminders and if a new bf would ruin that or throw it out i would break up with him right there and then!

You don't do that, that's not your business, it's his choice to keep it and i can't believe you did that!

Even though I'm through with my ex i still want to keep that stuff and no one has a right to tear it up it throw it out!

Yeh no one has the right to do it but I did do it and can't take back time now. Personally for me though.. If someone did that to me yes I would be mad but I wouldn't throw a relationship away coz of it.. a part of me would find it cute that he was that mad over something from my past that he had to cross boundaries and destroy it. I would find that hot in a man (after getting over the madness of having MY thing destroyed).

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a part of me would find it cute that he was that mad over something from my past that he had to cross boundaries and destroy it. I would find that hot in a man (after getting over the madness of having MY thing destroyed).
That's incredibly disturbing. "Cute" and "hot" should never be associated with violating someone's privacy and destroying their personal effects.
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Yeh no one has the right to do it but I did do it and can't take back time now. Personally for me though.. If someone did that to me yes I would be mad but I wouldn't throw a relationship away coz of it.. a part of me would find it cute that he was that mad over something from my past that he had to cross boundaries and destroy it. I would find that hot in a man (after getting over the madness of having MY thing destroyed).

 

DRAMA RELATIONSHIP!!!

 

No, it's not "cute" that someone is so insecure and fearful that they feel they have the right to destroy someone else's personal items!

 

My ex's current girlfriend (who he dumped me for) burned down his house because she thought he was cheating on her. He said he knows she only did it because she loves him so much, she lost control of herself. And that he never realized just how very much she loved him.

 

Good God...

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At the very least, he should be asking for your ID to verify your age if he were to ever find out. Ripping up someone else's notes? I think I remember seeing a girl do that in like 4th grade.

 

What worries me more than you having done the deed is you considering it "trivial." Going through your boyfriend's ****, destroying his property, and hiding it are all incredibly immature things to do and you should be asking yourself some hard questions to address why you'd act in such a way.

We share the same property so legally everything in the property is also mine. Anyways.. when I say 'letters' it was just a few postcards.. and a wedding card invite from said girl who I dislike. Ripped and in bin now. I don't think he will lose any sleep over it. I was more interested in knowing what most people out there think of keeping past things.

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We share the same property so legally everything in the property is also mine. Anyways.. when I say 'letters' it was just a few postcards.. and a wedding card invite from said girl who I dislike. Ripped and in bin now. I don't think he will lose any sleep over it. I was more interested in knowing what most people out there think of keeping past things.
That's not how property law works.
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