Need Advice-Both inexperienced first timers

First attempt at a thread on here, please be nice <:>

I'm a 16 year old girl with no prior relationship experience. He's 16 as well, with the same relationship status as my own. (I guess you can consider us part of the "dorky" population of our school) We have both known eachother for 2 years now and are good friends. We met at the beginning of highschool, first semester, in a class we shared together.

This year, in our tenth grade. He began portraying strange behaviours around me, or at least not acting his usual self. (Ie. Sitting closer to me, watching me while I'm talking to other people or himself, laughing at any attempts I try to be humorous, and asking to stay longer when he came over to my house-or making up excuses to his parents so he could come over more often)

He even got me a Christmas present this year completely out of the blue (After informing him of my love of wild dogs/foxes/wolves) he got me a small ceramic statue of a painted Arctic fox for my nightstand.

Within the next two months I find myself in a (partial) relationship with another one of my friends without the boy I mentioned earlier on knowing. After a quick breakup (ultimately causing me to beleive my life was pretty much over) He asks me what was wrong, and I tell him that I've been having self worth issues and trying to cope with a broken heart. He comes to tell me that there is always other people, and later tells me through Skype that when he said that he was referring to himself, and that he's loved me since the 9th grade.

Keep in mind that I had been having feelings for him for a while, and, assuming that he wasn't interested, tried to take my mind off of it by (attempting, and ultimately failing) to see other people.

I obviously respond to him that I reprocate his feelings. Our relationship begins here.

He's a very shy/introverted person to begin with, and since this is my first time in a relationship I don't know what should be happening. I was given two hugs the following day, one in the beginning, and one at the end of school, but no 'I love you's', cuddles or kisses were exchanged.

I'm just confused. I've been told that he'll do it when he's ready, but what if he's not the kind of person that enjoys PDA or even Private affectionate displays? He isn't the most romantic person, to say the least. Will our relationship be strictly hugging and compliments?

I just need some help.

well, it sounds like this could be your first love. maybe he's taking it slow because this is his first love too and he doesn't want to screw it up. some people have gone on to marriage from being high school lovers ya know.

why are you so worried? the question is, do you enjoy being with him? and if the answer is yes, things will sort itself out when the time comes. he's also probably waiting for the right moment to: hold hands, give kisses, and whatever. r u hoping to lose your virginity to him?

to be honest, i'd say leave the grown up stuff until you are grown up to do it. and don't pressure him about it either. usually teenage boys have hormones raging and i bet he's doing a good job of keeping it under control.

this is where you should try to develop your patience. don't be so impatient to get to the next stage. enjoy the ride.

Why do girls always seem to wait for guys to make the first move? Just kiss him already... if that is what you want. If you want to wait for him, then wait for him. But don't get frustrated at him for not making the first move when you have the same ability. Throw the antiquated romantic ideals and expectations out the window. It's 2016 after all.

Why do girls always seem to wait for guys to make the first move? Just kiss him already... if that is what you want. If you want to wait for him, then wait for him. But don't get frustrated at him for not making the first move when you have the same ability. Throw the antiquated romantic ideals and expectations out the window. It's 2016 after all.

That's not what I mean at all, I'm not exactly waiting for him to make the first move as I am just simply not sure if he wants to take our relationship to that kind of intimacy yet. And even if I did mean that, I'd be too shy to even lay my lips on him, I just don't know how he would feel about it. We've only gotten together very recently.

Why do girls always seem to wait for guys to make the first move? Just kiss him already... if that is what you want. If you want to wait for him, then wait for him. But don't get frustrated at him for not making the first move when you have the same ability. Throw the antiquated romantic ideals and expectations out the window. It's 2016 after all.

oh puhleeze. how can romance be ever antiquated? chivalry DOES exist and many men still WANT TO have that role. it will NEVER get antiquated.

and by advising her to not be patient and get what she wants now, what are you trying to teach her? Instant gratification? That's the problem with today's society. ME ME ME NOW NOW NOW

Haha, yeah, I really do love him and I want to be with him hopefully for a while. He seems to share feelings for me, but as you said, he's probably just taking it slow. Thank you for the helpful message

oh puhleeze. how can romance be ever antiquated? chivalry DOES exist and many men still WANT TO have that role. it will NEVER get antiquated.

 

and by advising her to not be patient and get what she wants now, what are you trying to teach her? Instant gratification? That's the problem with today's society. ME ME ME NOW NOW NOW

Oh puhleeze back at you. What I'm saying is that many people have messed up expectations due to social brainwashing. It's fine if guys want to be romantic, they'll attract women who also believe in that. My advice is simply to be direct. No reason to wait around if the OP wants to kiss him, then kiss him. It has nothing to do with instant gratification, it has everything to do with courage. It's never easy to make the first move and face rejection. In my experience, waiting for things to happen is a fools game... whether we're talking about relationships, jobs, or whatever else.

Oh puhleeze back at you. What I'm saying is that many people have messed up expectations due to social brainwashing. It's fine if guys want to be romantic, they'll attract women who also believe in that. My advice is simply to be direct. No reason to wait around if the OP wants to kiss him, then kiss him. It has nothing to do with instant gratification, it has everything to do with courage. It's never easy to make the first move and face rejection. In my experience, waiting for things to happen is a fools game... whether we're talking about relationships, jobs, or whatever else.

patience is a virtue, guy.

patience is a virtue, guy.

Quit trying to take me to school. I do high quality automotive restoration for work. I work on projects that take years to complete that other people won't touch. I have patience for days. But I also won't sit around thinking about how I'm going to tackle a project. I create a game plan. I get busy and get my hands dirty. Some people shape their lives and other people don't. I prefer to be the former rather than the later. You live your life how you see fit and I'll do the same.

Advice for the inexperienced:

Take it slow....you have plenty of time.

Always be Honest.

Find the courage to be vulnerable when you feel too shy to. Example...."I really like you and want to be your girlfriend, and I'm so nervous telling you that because I'm not sure how you feel".

Hold off on sex until you know the other person fairly well.

The start of a relationship like this is always a little bit scary. It's very normal for you to be feeling like you don't know what you are doing. Both of you have kind of wanted it for a while, and you have a friendship already. Now that it's actually happening, you don't know how things are going to change. And they will, but you don't want them to change too fast, and he probably feels the same way. Try to relax and enjoy the process of getting to know a new side of each other. Not knowing what's going to happen next is exciting!

You are the most relationship experienced between the two of you - so you may have to lead a little bit. But he has already shown a lot of initiative with the gift giving and in finally telling you how he felt.

And your thread was very well put, so if you can (eventually) express yourself to him the way you express yourself here you will do fine.