I lost control

A couple a months ago I broke up with a long term boyfriend. Both of us were first loves and he promised me exactly the future that I wanted. He changed after he moved away for his job. He stayed out late with girls and invited them to his house and made me feel. Worthless through many comments he'd make and dedicating more time to other girls than me. He made me cry because of insults sometimes. The last few months of our relationship was heartbreaking for me, I used to cry everyday because of how he was forgetting me and at the same time telling me I shouldn't meet my male friends, yet he could do what he want. Whenever I stated my opinion he said 'you're wrong I'm always right'. He made my life hell and essentially forced me to leave him. He agreed very happily when I ended things like he was purposely hurting me so I left him. The problem is that I still thought he had feelings so I asked for him back and tried talking as friends but he was cold and said no and ignored me and insulted me to his and my friends

I feel bad that I lost the motivation to stop contacting him and said that. He would've saw my attempts as his victories as he was able to reject me.

I hate that feeling that I lost dignity for him.

Ps - he emotionally cheated with one of the girls he was meeting who he said was only a friend

You are well rid of him.

Move on, he is not the man you thought he is. He may have been (doubt it) in the past, but not now. You deserve a good life. Seek it.

It's time to forgive yourself, and put one foot in front of the other. Up your value, and kick this clown out of your life.

my probem is that i was confident before the relationship but he knocked my self esteem a lot. after it, the insults knocked me a lot too. also i feel upset that one day he'll be able to treat a girl right perhaps and that wasnt me - i feel like a failure

Self esteem can't be knocked by someone else.

Hold yourself in high regard...his failure isn't about your worth.

Self esteem can't be knocked by someone else.

Hold yourself in high regard...his failure isn't about your worth.

see as this was my first serious relationship,im scared i wont find someone as romantic as him. he treated me well when he wanted me but im just scared about not being treated romantically again like that. i dont miss him, i miss what he used to say to me (promises of marriage, kids, romantic talk)

Well...there are romantic guys out there. But focusing on empty words isn't a good idea. Focus on their actions.

see as this was my first serious relationship,im scared i wont find someone as romantic as him. he treated me well when he wanted me but im just scared about not being treated romantically again like that. i dont miss him, i miss what he used to say to me (promises of marriage, kids, romantic talk)

You do know that there can be a next guy that pulls your heart strings. Just be more realistic about the value of those words. And, as others note, watch their actions too.

You'll find love again.

You do know that there can be a next guy that pulls your heart strings. Just be more realistic about the value of those words. And, as others note, watch their actions too.

 

You'll find love again.

I really want to reach the point of indifference. I want to know that I'm capable to love someone else the same and more for the future. I feel like he hurt me so much though that I'm genuinely scared of being hurt again. Am I over exaggerating by feeling this hurt and betrayed or were his actions bad.

sorry for posting twice, didnt realise you couldnt do that. just wanted to know that i am better than that

do you think that what he did is cheating

It doesn't matter if he cheated or not, the relationship is over. Try to focus on you and move forward.

im really struggling today. im desperate to forget him, there are so many good people i know that i can be with if i really wanted to be. but i cant forget him even though he cheated and was abusive. i just cant see him as being that, and people think hes such a nice person. im comparing myself tl the girl he cheated on me with. maybe shes smarter or prettier? i dont know i just feel terrible

I really want to reach the point of indifference. I want to know that I'm capable to love someone else the same and more for the future. I feel like he hurt me so much though that I'm genuinely scared of being hurt again. Am I over exaggerating by feeling this hurt and betrayed or were his actions bad.

Today I really want him back. Can someone bring me back to reality please

Today I really want him back. Can someone bring me back to reality please

What more reality do you need? He was emotionally abusive to you, when he moved away, unfortunately his feelings for you moved as well. Someone who truly cares about you would never make you feel that way. He's intentionally trying to make you feel less than you are to make himself feel bigger and you're allowing him to. You have to know your worth, know that there's somebody out there who is willing to be there for you and make you happy. You first have to let go of this guy, you're not missing him, you're missing what he was, you're missing the promises he sold you, you're feeling in pain because you put your hopes and dreams and built a future with him in your mind. He is no longer that guy and will no longer be that guy, he's moved on. It's hard but you have to accept that harsh reality. Nobody likes to feel like they weren't "good enough", but the truth of the matter is he wasn't good enough for you and he knows that, that's why he's off entertaining random females and emotionally cheating. You need to appreciate this time, at the end of you pain you'll come out a much stronger woman. The universe doesn't make mistakes, it will give you what you need when you need it, just trust and believe.

What more reality do you need? He was emotionally abusive to you, when he moved away, unfortunately his feelings for you moved as well. Someone who truly cares about you would never make you feel that way. He's intentionally trying to make you feel less than you are to make himself feel bigger and you're allowing him to. You have to know your worth, know that there's somebody out there who is willing to be there for you and make you happy. You first have to let go of this guy, you're not missing him, you're missing what he was, you're missing the promises he sold you, you're feeling in pain because you put your hopes and dreams and built a future with him in your mind. He is no longer that guy and will no longer be that guy, he's moved on. It's hard but you have to accept that harsh reality. Nobody likes to feel like they weren't "good enough", but the truth of the matter is he wasn't good enough for you and he knows that, that's why he's off entertaining random females and emotionally cheating. You need to appreciate this time, at the end of you pain you'll come out a much stronger woman. The universe doesn't make mistakes, it will give you what you need when you need it, just trust and believe.

Thank you so much. So, however bad the pain is now, I should tryst that it's all for a cause and that I'll find someone better for me and who treats me better on the other side after I move on completely from this one? Is it possible to move on without finding someone else