Feeling really down - suicide and self harm

It's been a while since I posted on her, so here it goes.

I've been feeling really down lately, I've been frequently self harming and been having thoughts of suicide - I feel as if death would be good, but I don't have the will power to do something so drastic. I'm young, I'm going through some like everyone else my age.

I have this friend, who is the only person who I express my feeling to, and she knows about all this crap. She's agreed to follow my request of keeping this between us - until I get really really bad, but I'm getting worried about telling her stuff as I don't know what will cause her to tell others and get help.

After talking for a while, I'll start to find it difficult to hold a conversation and to concentrate, and it makes me feel like I'm under a lot of pressure. I start to feel really bad about myself, and I always end up saying something to her like "I'm just gonna go - you've got better people to talk to", I'm not just saying that to be attention seeking, it's just, all we do is talk about my feelings, she's super devoted to help me get through this and I can't really hold a fun conversation as it stands anyway, so like I feel as if she's not gaining anything from our friendship, like, she has other friends that entertain her way more. She'll go on and say how 'amazing' I am and stuff, but I really can't believe her. Like I just look through messages, and I'm like "that's not true at all".

I feel as if, I have no control over our friendship anymore, we used to be 'dating' you could say I guess, but she decided she didn't want that with me, so we've remained super good friends. She's moved on, and it makes me feel really bad and emphasises my feelings that she's got better people to talk to. I don't see a point, I mean, she has no benefit from our friendship, and trying to be positive for her, is just so difficult and drains me.

I feel as if, I do commit suicide, it wouldn't matter to anyone really. I have a fairly small friend group, who I've started to lose lately, and it wouldn't effect my family much, I'm like an outsider in my family, I prefer to stay to myself.

I don't know really. You guys can try to help me if you want, I don't really have a specific aim for this post.

Call the depression and suicide hotline. Someone will be able to help you 1-800-273-TALK

National Adolescent Suicide Hotline

Getting professional help and making this more of a 'public' matter, isn't really something that I'm comfortable with / want. I can't really express why too much

How old are you?

As the saying goes, permanent solution for a temporary problem.

We've all experienced lows in our lives, I dont know what you're going through, but you have to remind yourself that the mindset you're currently in could all be switched around if you actually tried to get help. It's like locking yourself away in a dark room, the door is right there all you gotta do is the first steps. Talking to someone who's licensed and experienced enough to help you would be step #1 so I would advise you to call. You're starting to feel bad about telling things to your friend. Call that hotline, it's safe. You have to try. Give yourself a chance.

How old are you?

 

As the saying goes, permanent solution for a temporary problem.

 

We've all experienced lows in our lives, I dont know what you're going through, but you have to remind yourself that the mindset you're currently in could all be switched around if you actually tried to get help. It's like locking yourself away in a dark room, the door is right there all you gotta do is the first steps. Talking to someone who's licensed and experienced enough to help you would be step #1 so I would advise you to call. You're starting to feel bad about telling things to your friend. Call that hotline, it's safe. You have to try. Give yourself a chance.

I'm 16, turning 17 soon. I like that saying. I've got anxiety problems, my parents are recently divorced, and regular stuff. Is there any service or whatever, that I can like, speak to someone 'professional'-y, at home over text or something? That way I can keep this 'off the books', I don't want my family finding out. My sister recently recovered from an eating disorder, and I don't want to stress them out further.

Check out BetterHelp app on android. You can chat with a counselor for free in the first 7 days

I'm 16, turning 17 soon. I like that saying. I've got anxiety problems, my parents are recently divorced, and regular stuff. Is there any service or whatever, that I can like, speak to someone 'professional'-y, at home over text or something? That way I can keep this 'off the books', I don't want my family finding out. My sister recently recovered from an eating disorder, and I don't want to stress them out further.

Teenage years are the toughest, you just have so much going on internally.

I'm happy you are considering getting safe help, try the app Justme222 suggested.

Whatever you decide, if you call ..once your call is answered, a caring and trained person will listen to you.

Take care of yourself. The hardest step..is step #1.

Take care of yourself.

Keep us posted.

Hello,

It's important you do reach out by the app or suicide hotline. If it means you end up being safe it's worth it to save your life. You are very young and have a great deal of a beautiful life ahead of you.

I was sixteen like you and had to drop out of Highschool because my depression, anxiety and suicidal thought got so bad. I'm 33 years old now and to tell you things get better, much better. If I had taken my life at your age, I wouldn't have been able too experience the things I experienced, like seeing new places, falling in love..

Your life is just opening up doors for you. I know things are tough and believe me there will always be tough times. But getting help now will help you endure those tough times.

You are stronger then you think and by coming here you acknowledge you need help.

Tell your friend it's time.

It's nice you have a friend like her.

Lisa

Hello,

 

It's important you do reach out by the app or suicide hotline. If it means you end up being safe it's worth it to save your life. You are very young and have a great deal of a beautiful life ahead of you.

 

I was sixteen like you and had to drop out of Highschool because my depression, anxiety and suicidal thought got so bad. I'm 33 years old now and to tell you things get better, much better. If I had taken my life at your age, I wouldn't have been able too experience the things I experienced, like seeing new places, falling in love..

 

Your life is just opening up doors for you. I know things are tough and believe me there will always be tough times. But getting help now will help you endure those tough times.

 

You are stronger then you think and by coming here you acknowledge you need help.

 

Tell your friend it's time.

It's nice you have a friend like her.

 

Lisa

I feel super guilty and bad for her though, because if it wasn't for me she'd be so much happier and she'd be able to focus on more important things and people.

You should never feel like a burden if anything she wants to help you. She would be far worse if you did something and she didn't help you. Please don't feel guilty. Reach out to her. Trust me she wants you too.

Lisa

Man this isn't too great. I'm constantly treating her like . Like today, one of the first things I done when I got home was asking how she was, then trying to persuade her to leave me because I'm such an a**hole. Like, earlier today, she had to go, and I couldn't even manage to find the energy to say goodbye or anything, it just felt wrong.

Another friend of mine today got super upset about a test result and starting crying about it, I tried to calm her but I just freaked out and barely said much, I feel like such an a**hole, I'm going to message her soon and see how she's doing or something