Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I blame myself for everything that went wrong. I was good to her but there were things that I could've done better. I was clingy but she never gave any inclination that it bothered her. I been reading a lot and I know that I did smother her. I was just so amazed that someone finally loved me that I always wanted to be around her. I'll never forgive myself. I hate myself so much. It's like Dexter said to Miguel: I just have to accept it, I'll always be alone. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 At least you know where you went wrong (being clingy/smothering/needy) and from that you learn not to make the same mistakes in future relationships. See this as a positive. Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yea but there's no one else I want Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 No one else would want me anyway. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Many times I've found that you only 'smother' those that aren't really into you. They don't mind 'clingy'...I hate that word, if they WANT to see you every day...or hear your voice, etc. My ex, one time when he was trying to get back with me, said, "i hope I'm not smothering you". Well...ummm. Nope. I was glad to see him not being so damn distant. Then when I was dating a guy that I wasn't into (I mean...hardly at all...still liked ex) I couldn't STAND the fact that he had to sit on the couch with his arms around me all the time....ugh. Where as, if the bf put his arms around me on the couch...or txted me 50 times a day....YIPEE! Everyone likes a different degree of togetherness. Don't act cold and indifferent, because you don't want to come across as 'needy'. I never saw those words back in the 60's and 70's. 'clingy and needy'....Where went...he has my back. He's there when I need him. He's loyal. He's committed. My feelings are, they come from insecurity. So throw out those words, and put in...Next time I will be self-confident and secure. How would you know that you were clingy and smothering her, if she never gave any indication? Maybe that wasn't it at all? I just got back on the dating sites, and realized that I am not attracted to 'small, girly' kind of guys'. I like them more manly. Don't jump at a spider, don't whine...don't complain that your arms hurt after you did an hour of physical labor....lol Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 No one else would want me anyway. I understand you are hurting but it is that kind of negative and "woe is me" attitude which will be your undoing. Self-fulfilling prophecy. You shoot yourself in the foot because no-one wants to be around such negativity so they find someone with a happier positive attitude. Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 It's not like I tried before but she was the only one that gave me a chance. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 It's not like I tried before but she was the only one that gave me a chance. And there'll be others giving you a chance, but only if you change your current attitude (imo). Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I am having a very difficult time with it. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I am having a very difficult time with it. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety Are you getting any kind of treatment and/or medication? Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yea I go to a therapist once a week. I'd go more but I have a $60 co pay Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yea I go to a therapist once a week. Oh that's a good thing! Are you on any medication for your anxiety/depression? I think that would be a great help too. Link to comment
Jgeorge1980 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 No she doesn't believe in them Link to comment
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