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I know why I'm having issues with this now....


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I blame myself for everything that went wrong. I was good to her but there were things that I could've done better. I was clingy but she never gave any inclination that it bothered her. I been reading a lot and I know that I did smother her. I was just so amazed that someone finally loved me that I always wanted to be around her. I'll never forgive myself. I hate myself so much. It's like Dexter said to Miguel: I just have to accept it, I'll always be alone.

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Many times I've found that you only 'smother' those that aren't really into you. They don't mind 'clingy'...I hate that word, if they WANT to see you every day...or hear your voice, etc. My ex, one time when he was trying to get back with me, said, "i hope I'm not smothering you". Well...ummm. Nope. I was glad to see him not being so damn distant.

 

Then when I was dating a guy that I wasn't into (I mean...hardly at all...still liked ex) I couldn't STAND the fact that he had to sit on the couch with his arms around me all the time....ugh. Where as, if the bf put his arms around me on the couch...or txted me 50 times a day....YIPEE!

 

Everyone likes a different degree of togetherness. Don't act cold and indifferent, because you don't want to come across as 'needy'.

 

I never saw those words back in the 60's and 70's. 'clingy and needy'....Where went...he has my back. He's there when I need him. He's loyal. He's committed.

 

My feelings are, they come from insecurity. So throw out those words, and put in...Next time I will be self-confident and secure.

 

How would you know that you were clingy and smothering her, if she never gave any indication? Maybe that wasn't it at all?

 

I just got back on the dating sites, and realized that I am not attracted to 'small, girly' kind of guys'. I like them more manly. Don't jump at a spider, don't whine...don't complain that your arms hurt after you did an hour of physical labor....lol

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No one else would want me anyway.

 

I understand you are hurting but it is that kind of negative and "woe is me" attitude which will be your undoing. Self-fulfilling prophecy. You shoot yourself in the foot because no-one wants to be around such negativity so they find someone with a happier positive attitude.

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