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Needing advice and/or support with ex girlfriend


beneggs

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Ok. Long story short...

 

I ended up in a serious relationship with my best friend of 7 years. The last 3 years of which we were in a serious relationship.

 

I made a horrible mistake and made out with another girl on a night out with the guys. And I felt terrible.

 

Anyway once she knew of this she was extremely upset and we took a few weeks apart from each other (without breaking up)

 

We continued to date for another three months after this but ultimately she broke up with me on the 3rd of November 2015...

 

She said she couldn't stop thinking about my mistake and felt terrible and depressed all the time and although she could see that I've made a lot of changes she still couldn't move past my mistake.

 

She told me she needs to fix herself before she can fix us and that she 'wants everything with me' but doesn't expect me to wait around for ever.

 

We have continued to stay in contact for the entire three months.

 

The early weeks she would message me frequently saying she was missing me and struggling to get over me.

 

Some days she was blunt some days wed laugh and talk a lot,

 

I asked her to stop telling me she missed me as it is giving me false hope, to which she replied ... 'its not false hope.. I hope that one day in the future I have gotten over my doubts and can trust you again... That isn't going to happen tomorrow so I can't stay with you if I'm not comfortable planning a future with you.

 

Any way I've read all the ty breakup guides and no contact theories. And I decided that because of the trust issues that being distant and disappearing wouldn't be my best plan...so I've been there for her in a non pushy way for The majority of the three months... She's accepted invites to hangout and also invited me to things...

 

Things seemed to be heading in a slow yet positive direction until two weeks ago. I was tagged on fb out at a bar with some work Mates. I received a message from her saying she thinks it's time she deleted me from fb

As she needs to stop checking up on me and move on....she said we can still contact each other via text....I said I understood but was little upset.

 

Any way I let things cool off for a few days and texted her asking how she was.... The conversation was nice.. With some laughter and it was nice to know we could still talk.

 

Things took a turn for the worse however, I invited her to a comedy show because I found tickets, and she said she wants to not be planning things with me for a while because she wants a few weeks to be selfish and look after her self.

 

I replied calmly saying things such as I understand and that her happiness is important to me. I said I hope she could see a brighter future with me in what ever capacity that may be.

 

She messaged me back staying 'it's not forever....just until I can get through a day with out crying'

 

She's asked for a few weeks space but also said I can text her lol... And she said she'd see me after my police entrance exam in a couple of weeks.

 

All very confusing I know.... And sorry to turn it into a long story.

 

Was just looking for words of wisdom and advice....

 

I do hope to be back together again, although I have partially accepted the possibility of that not happening.

 

It's been a week since we last spoke. Which is the longest since the breakup

 

Any ideas on my next move???

 

Cheers for reading!!

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I have been through this...Just do as many nice things as you can if you really love her instead of going silent she will meet other men ..... Right her a love letter on paper not through txts! Show up at her work with her favourite flowers and lots of them! Tell her you are truly sorry and you want to make this work but your not giving her space to meet another man if you do all this and it still fails let it go and find another girl..

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If you are not creative enough than google a beautiful love letter and alter it a little bit so it seems like it was meant for her and I bet you will get your girl back going old school always works txt messages are just annoying and will eventually lead to her blocking you

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Jonny J.... I like your enthusiasm.... It just seems a bit too much lol.... Her birthday was early January and I got her a nice card and a neutral present ( tickets to a gig-) to give her the option to take me, only if she wanted.

 

But one things I've taken on board is that she has referred to anything romantic or nice that I do as 'rubbing salt in the wound'

 

I believe a full throttle chase at this stage would cone across as extremely needy and I don't think it would work. Obviously your girl/situation was different.... Which I'm curious to know... Did it work for you???

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Jonny J: Nice!!! I don't really know your situation though..... I've hurt her pretty had so I Kind of feel I should respect her space... Valentines day is around the corner however haha... But all jokes aside Im not sure your methods would work..... Do you mind elaborating on your story?? Congrats on the kid btw!!

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Lol thanks a lot I have had one hell of a ride with this one and I honestly messed everything up s going down the tubes for me right now but honestly if you want to win her back you need to not be needy just do what I told you and back off she will come back if there isn't another man around... when we first started dated we broke up and while she was at her sisters house with another man I rolled up and said come speak to me .. The other guy did nothing she actually ran in the house and her sister made her come out and talk to me and boom she felt our love and she was back again we have been off and on we have both made a lot of mistakes and trust me you didn't hurt yours as bad as I hurt mine I got drunk a couple times and slept with her sister we have managed to work through everything and I know that sounds bad but she has had her fair share of mistakes

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Jeez!!! Quite a story.... I haven't been needy so far apart from the first one or two days about three months ago.... But that's understandable.... Your story sounds like an exception to a rule.... I don't think most women would respond to that sort of thing...no offence... Every woman is obviously different!

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So your going to jail, youve already shown you're capable of cheating AND shes pregnant. .. i think I'd be 'crazy' dealing with that. So she's pregnant.. alot of cheating /breakups happen during pregnacy. fact... youve proven untrust worthy by straying already and youre about to go to jail and leave her with what? A baby to look after alone. If you want a family and a life start making a home for your woman, reassure her with WORDS AND ACTIONS, and 50 %of the madness ends with pregnancy and a whole new set of stresses begins.... MAN UP OR GO HOME.

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