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Dougie_D

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We had a professional photographer come in at work. I used the photo and put it on my dating profile. But when my Roomie saw it,she said take it down its a terrible picture. I seem to not have good pictures. But when I let my girly friends choose, I still don't get results. They all say my profile is "fine". I'm getting depressed because I feel like I will never have an "attractive" picture because I'm just not attractive.

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Who said you aren't attractive, besides your own insecurities? You're not alone, everyone has insecurities and things they don't like about themselves.

 

And I guarrantee there are many women out there who would be attracted to--and it isn't just about looks. I'm attracted to tall thin men. They don't have to be conventionally good looking, just tall, skinny, and a nice smile--that's enough to get me talking to them to see if they are smart and funny.

 

As a suggestion--if I was looking at a guy's profile on a dating site, I'm more apt to take a closer look at guys whose pictures aren't "forced", meaning it's not a selfie or a pic in the mirror or a professional shot. I like the candid ones, pics with friends/family or doing something you enjoy.

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Here we go with the looks thing, again. You have posted uncountable threads on this topic.

 

Dougie have you sought therapy for your feelings of inferiority? You really have an issue here!

 

There are plenty of average and unattractive people that get dates and having loving relationships. This is because they are confident, positive people, not always focusing on their appearance.

 

Please seek some help. I also suggest trying to meet people in real life,

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I never thought I was unattractive until people started to point them out to me. My parents , in Highschool, thought I needed a chin implant and hired a personal trainer for me. I didn't like it. But then in college people made a nick name for me "chinless" and it started to mess with me. Maybe my parents were right? Then the "sloppy hair" the "new clothes" the "caveman jokes" the "big ears" the "short, fat, " started to come.

It's not like I woke up and said. Dang I'm ugly. No, it's because I'm told that. "Maybe you shouldn't look for girls out of your league".. Like really? What league would that be? The reality is that I'm not a good looking guy according to about 90% in general. And it affects me. I can't avoid it.

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I know picture is an important part of the online thing.....reason#43243 why not do it.

 

Do it like men have done for millions of years......not 2 decades.....

 

 

 

Next time you are out in public. Count # of women that you walk by, then count the ones you find attractive. You will quickly realize that you insecurities are not just insignificant but also irrelevant. : D

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We had a professional photographer come in at work. I used the photo and put it on my dating profile. But when my Roomie saw it,she said take it down its a terrible picture. I seem to not have good pictures. But when I let my girly friends choose, I still don't get results. They all say my profile is "fine". I'm getting depressed because I feel like I will never have an "attractive" picture because I'm just not attractive.

 

Dougie, if you're on okc, have you thought about taking your profile to the Reddit thread on okcupid? They do profile critiques and can help you pick out a good picture and edit your text.

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What makes a good picture aren't about conventional ideas around what physical features we find attractive. Some pictures we take are good and some are bad but it is still the same person so it can't be about looks. If you don't look relaxed and/or comfortable in front of your camera then it is not going to be a good picture. What makes a photographer good is to bring out the best in you. If the picture looks like you're smiling but suffering from a toothache its probably not going to be a good picture of you.

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"Maybe you shouldn't look for girls out of your league".. Like really? What league would that be?

 

I'm one of probably MANY who told you that! What league...YOUR league. What league do you feel like you're in? With your insecurities about your looks....that would be at the bottom of the barrel!!! But we're NOT saying that. We're saying....think MORE of yourself....and go for those types of girls. MIDDLE of the road types. And what other kinds of girls? The kind of girls, that if you talk to them, they act interested. If they don't....move on.

 

And maybe you DO need a chin implant. Hell...I got a tummy tuck to make myself feel better about myself!!! I've looked at the plastic surgery sites...and the chin implants make such a difference, wouldn't mind one myself....

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"Maybe you shouldn't look for girls out of your league".. Like really? What league would that be?

 

I'm one of probably MANY who told you that! What league...YOUR league. What league do you feel like you're in? With your insecurities about your looks....that would be at the bottom of the barrel!!! But we're NOT saying that. We're saying....think MORE of yourself....and go for those types of girls. MIDDLE of the road types. And what other kinds of girls? The kind of girls, that if you talk to them, they act interested. If they don't....move on.

 

And maybe you DO need a chin implant. Hell...I got a tummy tuck to make myself feel better about myself!!! I've looked at the plastic surgery sites...and the chin implants make such a difference, wouldn't mind one myself....

 

The difference of what?

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Here we go with the looks thing, again. You have posted uncountable threads on this topic.

 

Dougie have you sought therapy for your feelings of inferiority? You really have an issue here!

 

There are plenty of average and unattractive people that get dates and having loving relationships. This is because they are confident, positive people, not always focusing on their appearance.

 

Please seek some help. I also suggest trying to meet people in real life,

 

So you are saying I am only average and unattractive? How would someone like me compete against "above average" then? Women don't even take the time to chat with me or get to know me.

 

Women claim that personality matters, but how can they judge personality based off a picture or a 5 minute conversation?

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I know picture is an important part of the online thing.....reason#43243 why not do it.

 

Do it like men have done for millions of years......not 2 decades.....

 

 

 

Next time you are out in public. Count # of women that you walk by, then count the ones you find attractive. You will quickly realize that you insecurities are not just insignificant but also irrelevant. : D

 

Majority of women look the same to me. And I bet women say that as well about men. But if that's the case, why haven't I had any look? Or how come my message box doesn't get full? There has to be some differential about me and other men.

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So you are saying I am only average and unattractive? How would someone like me compete against "above average" then?

QUOTE]

 

Well what's the hell wrong with average? Most of us ARE average! Average is NOT unattractive. Unattractive is in the eye of the beholder. For instance. Years ago, I had my first job. A girl started working there that was by all accounts VERY attractive. Pretty soon I found out she was snippy....and talked about me behind my back. Soon, I found her very unattractive. The guy that just got done breaking up with me...who I've mentioned many times on here, WAS VERY UNATTRACTIVE to me when I first met him. But his personality spoke to me...and we became great friends. I must admit....flirty friends.

 

Dougie...be FUNNY (not silly and sophomoric) but witty. Smile. If you act stupid and people are laughing AT you....not with you....then you know why you are failing with women.

 

And yes...this guy I mentioned, I have dated over 2 years, I met at a meetup. I saw him 5 times before I saw something in him that stirred my interest. (he came up and whispered something clever in my ear!) He had asked me out on a dating site earlier....and I never answered. So yes...it does take meeting someone in person sometimes....and more than a 5 min. conversation.

 

It's called perseverance!

 

oh...and btw...my message box doesn't get full either. I finally found someone I was attracted to one there last week. Made plans to go hiking last Sunday. He cancelled on Sat. Was I hurt? Sure. I hadn't seen anyone I liked on those damn sites for so long, but apparently he found someone that tripped his trigger more!

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The difference of what?

Chin implants make such a difference! A difference of what? Well...what do you think? Is this the problem you have with women...or all people in general?? Not connecting.

 

A chin implant makes such a difference in HOW THEY LOOK! As in an improvement. Better facial balance. Gives you more self-confidence. Makes you look more 'Manly' not having a weak chin.

 

Go to Realself.com and look up chin implants. See if it is something you would be interested in saving your money for....

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How can the majority of women look the same to you? Geez. All women look different. From 1 to a Million.....especially when you factor in personality.

No, serously they do. I'm not judging personality at all. You said "look" wise. They all like to wear the same things or where similar make-up and . I'm more into the wild pink blue gothic punk chicks anyways. That's probably why I say they all look similar to me for some reason.

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Chin implants make such a difference! A difference of what? Well...what do you think? Is this the problem you have with women...or all people in general?? Not connecting.

 

A chin implant makes such a difference in HOW THEY LOOK! As in an improvement. Better facial balance. Gives you more self-confidence. Makes you look more 'Manly' not having a weak chin.

 

Go to Realself.com and look up chin implants. See if it is something you would be interested in saving your money for....

 

No. I know what the difference is.. And it's pretty lame to say it makes a man more "manly". Because of his jaw line? So my chin really is a dealbreaker for majority of women?

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So you are saying I am only average and unattractive? How would someone like me compete against "above average" then? Women don't even take the time to chat with me or get to know me.

 

Women claim that personality matters, but how can they judge personality based off a picture or a 5 minute conversation?

 

I am saying that you should get out into the real world and try to meet people. Do some volunteering, take courses, try Meetups, join clubs. Anything.

Your biggest obstacle is your lack of self confidence. WE HAVE ALL TOLD YOU THIS, A MILLION TIMES! Dougie, why are you not getting this?? Please seek professional help!

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RN, I love you girl, but I don't think Dougie needs a chin implant. AND he can't afford it, on a minimum wage type job. I also don't think you "needed" a tummy tuck, even if it made you feel better about yourself. I've seen guys with women with flabby stomachs and they looked pretty happy to me.

 

Better he spend that money on the best therapy money can buy, if he isn't covered by insurance yet (which he should be, with the Affordable Care Act, which will fine you if you don't get healthcare.)

 

Majority of women look the same to me. And I bet women say that as well about men. But if that's the case, why haven't I had any look? Or how come my message box doesn't get full? There has to be some differential about me and other men.

 

So after 1285928758394785 threads from you about how you can't hold your own against "more attractive guys", including in this very thread, you're saying women don't find differences between men in the looks department?

 

Look, you think women think all men look about the same? In that case, it's not looks after all is it? And you can't even talk about "ugly" when everyone's all about the same. So THAT CONCLUDES THIS THREAD, RIGHT? Maybe it's all the other parts of a person?

 

YOU SAID IT HERE FIRST, DOUGIE -- WOMEN THINK "HOT" MEN AND GUYS LIKE YOU LOOK ABOUT THE SAME. So you can stop being depressed about your looks forever -- RIGHT? YOU CAN DROP THE CHIN COMPLEX AND EVERYTHING ELSE WITH YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, RIGHT? And work on the other stuff people talked about in your other threads (expanding interests, getting therapy to understand why you have no motivation or ambition in life, re-evaluating your somewhat obnoxious/"get a rise out of them" sense of humor, etc.)

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I am saying that you should get out into the real world and try to meet people. Do some volunteering, take courses, try Meetups, join clubs. Anything.

Your biggest obstacle is your lack of self confidence. WE HAVE ALL TOLD YOU THIS, A MILLION TIMES! Dougie, why are you not getting this?? Please seek professional help!

Because I've done all those things and nothing pans out. I'm starting to feel like I have a personality that isn't suited to attract women. I can make friends super easy. It's not like these women say I have a crappy personality. Most of them say I'm a funny guy actually! It's like I don't have that something that puts me in the "I can see myself dating him" category.

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RN, I love you girl, but I don't think Dougie needs a chin implant. AND he can't afford it, on a minimum wage type job. I also don't think you "needed" a tummy tuck, even if it made you feel better about yourself. I've seen guys with women with flabby stomachs and they looked pretty happy to me.

 

Better he spend that money on the best therapy money can buy, if he isn't covered by insurance yet (which he should be, with the Affordable Care Act, which will fine you if you don't get healthcare.)

 

 

 

So after 1285928758394785 threads from you about how you can't hold your own against "more attractive guys", including in this very thread, you're saying women don't find differences between men in the looks department?

 

Look, you think women think all men look about the same? In that case, it's not looks after all is it? So THAT CONCLUDES THIS THREAD, RIGHT? Maybe it's all the other parts of a person?

 

YOU SAID IT HERE FIRST, DOUGIE -- WOMEN THINK "HOT" MEN AND GUYS LIKE YOU LOOK ABOUT THE SAME. So you can stop being depressed about your looks forever -- RIGHT? YOU CAN DROP THE CHIN COMPLEX AND EVERYTHING ELSE WITH YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, RIGHT? And work on the other stuff people talked about in your other threads (expanding interests, getting therapy to understand why you have no motivation or ambition in life, re-evaluating your somewhat obnoxious/"get a rise out of them" sense of humor, etc.)

 

I wish women would think men are the same, but we all know that's not the truth. Prove me wrong and tell me we all look alike.

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