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Seeing ex tomorrow..so confused. Need advice!


Alicia59

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Hi everyone. I'm really confused with my ex.

 

Dated two years; he was very hurt by the breakup. He hasn't dated many people, and I was his first serious girlfriend. He broke up with me and wouldn't speak to me, so we were in NC for almost two months while he calmed down. Randomly he comes to this party KNOWING I'll be there, after not speaking to me for months. So then we get back in touch, texting and a few calls for a little over a month. I have to initiate 100% of the time. Starts off distant but slowly warms up to joking and laughing together. You know, typical situation. A few more things happen, and he realizes his feelings for me remain but isn't ready to get back together so he starts avoiding me until New Year's Eve, when we see each other at a party..all goes well because we still get along great and stuff. We chat, play party games, to anyone watching it appears we're friends! Since then we've spoken once and he doesn't initiate ever so I was like, okay I'm done. Stopped trying to talk to him or do anything.

 

Just as I'm starting to accept this, I've been informed he's coming to a party I'll be at tomorrow, knowing I'm there. What IS this? Does he miss me? How am I supposed to act?

 

P.S. I can't not go to the party because I'm co-hosting it with our other friend LOL

 

P.P.S. I want him back so please no generic "find somebody else" comments. This is the "getting back together" forum LOL not the "move on and get over it" forum. My question is about how to act and what his motivations for attending randomly may be, after not talking to me since January 1. Thanks all.

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He's coming to the party knowing that you will fawn all over him. So you need to stop doing that.

 

Maybe you need to use these parties as a way to meet somebody else and get over it. I mean, that's what going to parties is all about isn't it?

 

When I say party I mean like 10-12 of our friends. I already know everybody there, and at the last party I didn't "fawn over him" at all. Like I said I haven't even texted him in a month...

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It's started as a forum to tell your success stories...not ask for advice on how to fix a broken relationship.

 

I think he's going to the party...because he was invited. I wouldn't read into it

 

Before now he refused to go to anything where I am. If I was there, he wouldn't attend. So he's been invited plenty of times..we have all the same friends..so I want to know why now..

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When I say party I mean like 10-12 of our friends. I already know everybody there, and at the last party I didn't "fawn over him" at all. Like I said I haven't even texted him in a month...

 

You did all the reaching out. Don't get why you would do this, especially since he dumped you. Have some pride, girl!

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Before now he refused to go to anything where I am. If I was there, he wouldn't attend. So he's been invited plenty of times..we have all the same friends..so I want to know why now..

 

He's moved on. He wants to party with friends.

 

If he wanted to be with you, he would be contacting you and trying to reconcile. Not, show up at a party, allow you to do all the contact, then fade away.

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Read your statement and repeat. "He broke up with you." Keep rereading it. Reflect on that. Contemplate that. Think about it some more. It still states the same thing. " he broke up with you."

 

I know it is hard to let go. It absolutely blows. It sucks. It is what it is. There is no happy rainbow at the end of this party. Just you torturing yourself some more, hoping to read something positive into a random action he does or something he says.

 

Try just disappearing. Be done. Live your life. Just stop.

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Is there a reason that you don't want to say why he dumped you but you and your friends keep inviting him to these get togethers?

 

I am guessing you did something to break his trust.

 

Since he has been invited to these before and not accepted, until now....I would prepare yourself that he might show up with a date.

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