GF continuing open relationship, I wanted to close it

My gf (26) and I (28 ) have been dating for about 4 years and have had an open relationship for about 1 year. We decided to try it out, as our love life was lacking at the time. Our idea was not to tell one another details but be open about your plans.

During this open relationship I have made out with a couple of girls (nothing serious), but she's has definitely seen more guys. In fact, she recently broke it off with a guy she became very close with who she started seeing all the time. At one point over the 4 or so months she was seeing him, she would get home from work on Friday and say "I'm going to see (blank), bye" and be gone for the weekend. Once, I said it was getting out of hand, and she said 'well this is the way it is and if you don't like it, maybe we should break up". I also remember hearing her in the other room say "I love you" to him over the phone as well. However, she hasn't spoken to him for a while now and isn't seeing him anymore (since he moved), so they must've had a falling out of some kind.

So... about 6 months ago we moved into a new place together (share rent), and I asked her if we could close our relationship. I also tried being more affectionate with her, but she was pretty resistant and cold. We had a conversation shortly after where she told me that she doesn't feel sexual towards me but she does love me. She also proceeded to tell me that sex with this other guy was a lot better.

Fast forward to a week ago, we were arguing, and she tells me that she just needs to have an open relationship with me and can't be in a closed one. So I kinda conceded bc I thought it worked in the past and maybe we can continue with the open relationship.

She's now back on dating apps and has been seeing this new guy and even went on a date with him last night, and got home early this morning. (so i assume she slept over)

I don't know what to do. I love her and she says she loves me too, but she tells me she can't be in a closed relationship after I asked her to close it.

You are housemates. Not lovers...not in a sexual relationship.

You opened Pandora’s Box. She wants to have an open relationship, you don’t. It works for her, it does not work for you. Sorry to say so, but it’s time to break up.

Get a STD test asap and protect yourself.

Nature of your "whatever it is that you have" is quite disturbing. I wouldn't call that a relationship.

The reason why both of you engaged and agreed to such an arrangement is because neither of you are long term relationship material. And here you are today trying to make each other something you are not.

It ain't going to work. And yes, this is very common in "FWB" type of relationships. Whenever you get intimate with anyone or spend time with anyone.....feelings will grow. Human nature. Next thing you know you have 2 people that had no intentions of ever being in a relationship, trying to make it work.

Good luck with all that.....

That's not an open relationship. That's a one sided relationship. She has all the power here.

Sorry but you're done. Time to extricate yourself from this mess.

Actions speak louder than words. She doesn't love you. The moment she finds someone she feels a connection with she will drop you. You are prolonging the inevitable and torturing yourself in the process. Whatever you two had in the past is long dead. The respect is gone. The chemistry is gone. Stop doing this to yourself. Break up. Heal. Move on. Make room in your life for someone who will want to be with you and only you. You deserve much better than this. Everyone does. Being single is definitely better than this. Right now you are stuck and seem on major denial. Drop her. She is hurting your self-esteem and weighting you down. Free yourself.

She does not love you, she keeps you around for comfort, company or who knows what other reasons, when she doesn't have other guys on the leash.

Note how easily and non-chalantly she mentioned breaking up. NOT the words of someone who "loves" you.

I am amazed you have put up with this for so long. You said you originally decided on an open relationship because your love life was lacking. Now the relationship is open and your love life is still lacking, even more so I assume. So what have you got? What are you still getting out of this whole bizarre arrangement?

I have no idea why she keeps you around but it's not because of love, trust me.

Dont you think you deserve someone a lady who's crazy about you (emotionally and physically!), someone you have passion with?

Dude, this is NOT an open relationship...she doesn't have the same sort of affection and attention for you as the other men in her life. You want to be exclusive with her but she doesn't want anything to do with you even when she is around. I don't know why you are still in this.

Agree with those saying this really doesn't fit the definition of an open relationship. You want one thing, she wants something else. That doesn't seem healthy for either of you. Time to let her go and focus on yourself, then find someone who wants a monogamous relationship with you.

This is not healthy. I hate to say it but she doesn't love you the same way you love her. You deserve someone that will commit to you 100%

She's not ready to commit to you. And it is not going to ever grow to something more. It's time for you to not only not have an open relationship with her, but have no relationship with her. There's someone else that is out there and ready for you, but you need to close this chapter so you can find your way to each other.

It's done. This isn't an open relationship, this is her wanting to keep you around because it's better than being alone.

Take your power back and find someone more respectful.

You've been FRIEND ZONED.

Why settle?

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