The incessant Roommate

A random post. I'll complain here, so I don't need to complain to real-life peeps, LOL. I live with one other roommate, a gay male, both in our mid-30's. For the most part we get along fine, are independent, have similiar living styles, have good conversation here and there, etc.

However, he gets into this mode of incessant questioning with me. To the point where I'm not sure if he's trying to be annoying. I'm a pretty solitary laid-back roommate and won't pry into your life or the details of your day. He's mentioned before how he sometimes can't tell if he's bothering me (which he's mostly not). I usually just answer his questions, but don't get that deep into the conversating while I'm cooking- or the worst is when I'm watching TV or I'm obviously doing something on my phone! Yet, he continues to ask questions with a smirk on his face.

The worst was recently when he got home at 11pm, I'm on the couch and I say that I'm feeling tired (I have an auto-immune fatigue issue). He mentions a smell (I baked brussel sprouts & bacon), he goes to take out the garbage (I asked him this weekend to do the garbage because I was feeling fatigued & the dampness will start to smell overnight- there was a leak in the garbage from the tea he dumped in it. I clean this ALL the time, he doesn't seem to notice), he goes into asking me about Game of Thrones, my new job, is it the gluten issue, etc. etc. Until I kinda of snapped at him with one answer. I don't want to avoid him (at can't really in our teeny place), but a the same time need a polite way to tell him that I'm not interested in conversating or that I'm too fatigued too. OR to put an end to his bullying. (this has happened enough times for me to notice)

He has mentioned that he's a little bi-polar, and that people have mentioned that he gets into asking a lot of questions (but for the most part seems to be a fairly adjusted person). What gives? Is he just being a fickle gay man?

Tell him "Timmy, cj (you) is having a time out right now. Please give me some space".

He is just being a brat. You aren't paying enough attention to him.

When my sister gets like this, I tell her she is being a "nudge" and to can it.

2 suggestions:

1) Wear earphones (looks like you are listening to music or an audiobook, so can't hear and don't want to be interrupted.) If he tries to question you, flash a quick smile, a quick shake of the head and point to earphones, then focus elsewhere. Don't maintain eye contact.

2) Limit questions to an agreeable number. (Try a variation of what worked during the incessant-questions phase of my toddlers: When questioning was overwhelming me I'd say "I can answer 3 more questions now, then we'll take a question-break." After 3 questions answered I'd let them know that was 3, and now our (10 minute for toddlers) question break would begin. Of course they'd have more questions, but a gentle reminder helped, and allowed me the break I needed. It also helped them to learn to switch focus and discover things in a different way.)

Yes Journey.

When clients call up and say "can I ask you a stupid question" I tell them their limit is 2.

How about "Yes, if I can give you a stupid answer." ? ;-)

I totally get the fatigue. I am having the same issue with an under active tyroid and sometimes its just so hard to sum up the energy to think or to string a sentence together. I get irritated too when my bf is trying to have a conversation with me when I feel like this and I just tell him "babe, I feel awful, let me rest".

I think they just don't get it coz they have never had to deal with it. When I am my normal self and not plagued by this, I love talking and have a ton of energy but it just hits randomly especially in the evening for me.

Ha HA! I just kind of answer his questions on auto-pilot. "How was your day?"--"Good." chop, chopping vegetables, maybe a 1 or 2 sentence summary... "Another question asked." "One word Answer." I have to be more aware, that when he gets to the 6th or 7th question, to say something "Don't you have to get up early tomorrow? This is a lot of conversation for this time of night."

Something polite but sharp enough so he gets the hint.

Maybe he feels offended that I'm not a chatter, who knows! Maybe I'm a test subject for his Social Work class.

The other time it's bad is during the Period cramps! geez.