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I was dating this girl for 3 years. I am 28 and she is 22 years old. The first 2 years we were at bliss. The whole of last year our relationship took a 360 turn. I set up my business and I was constantly under a lot stress and fed her a lot of my negativity. On the other hand my ex graduated from college and took up a full time position. She started to spend more time with her colleagues. We were slowly drifting apart and her colleagues influenced her into trance and music festival (which was totally not her thing when she dated me).

 

For that very reason, I was becoming insecure because she would always spend time snap chatting her colleagues and when she was with me she was constantly moody and unhappy. Despite my insecurity, I still purchased festival tickets for her to enjoy with her colleagues. In summary, I was not that bad of a boyfriend. As expected, bad things happened. A very small fight occurred between us. I was merely addressing the issue that she prioritized her female colleague more than me. One argument led to another she decided to break up with me. The usual I don't love you any more but I still care about you bull crap which I did not buy. Just one week before we broke up, she invited me to her high school reunion and she told me she wanted her high school friends to know she is dating an amazing guy.

 

In the first 4 months of break up, I lost my mind. I bought so many self help books. Every other few weeks I would ask her to take me back. I did not believe in NC. Because it just doesnt make sense to me. How are you supposed to get your ex back when you are implementing NC?! And the more I approached her, the more she avoided me. To a point she stopped talking to me. In summary, I was becoming less alpha and less attractive in her eyes. We even tried to be friends. But it just didn't work.

 

I finally came to my senses and started to implement NC. The first 8 days was hell. But I see my life slowly falling into place. I became more confident. I changed my lifestyle. I gained weight and muscles. I met up with heaps of friends that I lost touch in the past 3 years. I still miss her everyday but I am not obsessed with her any more. NC is a good time for me to build myself up. Ex, on the other hand, is slowly missing me. The beautiful thing with NC you give them time to miss you. She knows eventually I will not focus on her. Eventually all this energy of mine will be placed on another lucky girl.

 

Just a little update, I am still following her blog. She would post really sad stuffs every day (ever since the implementation of NC). Something along the line she is sad and miserable and that she wished we could try again. She is an introvert thats why Blog is her let out. NC taught me to be very disciplined. So i did not budge. NC is not a tactic to get your ex back. But it really helps you to realise your worth. I did so much chasing in the past 4 months. If she wants me, She would make an effort to talk to me. Therefore NC all the way. At this point I am fine without her but she is slowly realising its not that fine without me.

 

I am currently Day 14 on NC. It gets easier everyday trust me. Do what you need to do. For me it takes me for 4 months to come to this stage. Chase if you need. Beg if you need. But after awhile you know NC is the only way to go.

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Yep. Good for you. Are you also friends on FB? That was a trying one for me...but it's better now. I just avoid FB for long periods. I never post personal status updates. Just very sporadic funny posts, or pics of me and my dog. Some exes think by keeping tabs on you they have a 'connection' without any effort. Keep that in mind.

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Hey Jas. Thanks for the response. My FB is very light hearted... Lots of random posts... Lots of photos check in that I am finally enjoying my life... I can't wait for her to enjoy my life... I am single so I have the freedom to go out with whoever people I like Are you NC too? How long has it been?

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Good for you Jesiah! It does get better. I am on day 31, I now go very long periods of the day without thinking about my ex. Even when I do, it doesn't hurt as much as it did the first few days. I no longer want that phone call or text. I blocked him and his entire family on FB. It's not about them, it's about YOU. Being selfish is part of healing. Putting yourself first and realizing that you simply cannot keep chasing someone that does not want you.

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Good for you, I also did what you did for 5 month until I realised I needed to go nc for my own health and sanity, I'm now 5 week nc and I do still think of him daily but I'm happy, my confidence and self esteem is returning, I'm getting attention off other guys and I'm actually starting to enjoy the single life something I thought I'd never feel in those 5 months, nc really is the only way, keep it up 😘

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HEY!! Day 31 is amazing. you are such a strong girl! i am so proud of you. Yes do whatever you feel thats best for you. he is probably having the best time of his life now. all you could do is pick yourself up. you don't need his validation. the universe works in an awesome way. once you feel good, everything good start coming your way. We can go thru this. If he does come back, it depend on God. you might have found someone better. thats the future. but for now, you are just going enjoy every second of your awesome life.

 

 

Good for you Jesiah! It does get better. I am on day 31, I now go very long periods of the day without thinking about my ex. Even when I do, it doesn't hurt as much as it did the first few days. I no longer want that phone call or text. I blocked him and his entire family on FB. It's not about them, it's about YOU. Being selfish is part of healing. Putting yourself first and realizing that you simply cannot keep chasing someone that does not want you.
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Yay confusedchef12. NC is amazing because you discover self love. and thats the highest form of love. i think its important to find a balance. We exhibit too much love for our other half. They discovered self love way before we did. thats why they found us unattractive. the more we discover our own worth the more attractive we become! Week 5 NC is way awesome!! we could get thru this together

 

 

Good for you, I also did what you did for 5 month until I realised I needed to go nc for my own health and sanity, I'm now 5 week nc and I do still think of him daily but I'm happy, my confidence and self esteem is returning, I'm getting attention off other guys and I'm actually starting to enjoy the single life something I thought I'd never feel in those 5 months, nc really is the only way, keep it up 😘
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If you read my previous threads you'll see the state I was in, I was desperate and pathetic, I'm so embarrassed at how I handled the break up, I had no self worth no self esteem no nothing, but now I'm regaining it all, I've not heard a word from him and its for the best,I don't want to hurt any more.

 

You seem so happy and confident, we could get through this together 😘 if you feel like this at 2 week nc imagine how you'll feel at 5 week ✌

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Glad you have made progress!

 

For the next step, I would suggest unfollowing her blog as by my strict definition, that still constitutes contact.

 

In my opinion, this couple of weeks of so-called NC has given you a positive bounce in part due to the fact you have seen that it is causing her to be sad and/or question the split. This is perfectly natural, and most people in the early stages of a break up initiate NC to try and get their ex back, even if they don't admit it. But if you are to truly move forward, then I recommend avoiding her blog and any updates about her, instead focusing on YOU even more than you have been doing. That will speed up your healing.

 

Keep up the good work

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I agree that you should stop following her blog. It could only be a matter if time before her next blog posts involves some awesome new guy she started seeing. If you read something like that, how will you feel? Right now, whether you realize it or not, you're getting an ego boost from reading her 'miserable' posts. It's giving you some satisfaction that she might be missing you. That could easily change over time, and when you start reading happier posts, you may start to feel worse. It'll be a see-saw of emotions.

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I am in NC phase wih this boy from last Aug. I kept a tab on him via fb & wtsapp for few months. But beginning this year, I made a huge move by removing him from both. no more ghosting. Though I still have feelings for him but no longer the urge to check what exactly he is doing. For me its a great step forward. I get to see him almost everyday as we work together but I dont see that shine in him anymore that used to be there. Now I see the desparation setting in him.

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  • 1 month later...

Hey guys. Lost my password. I am the owner of this thread. Bummer.

 

Firstly thanks for all the reponses. I took everyone advices on board. In the past few weeks I made the following progres:

 

1. Deleted my blog and quit visiting her blog

2. Blocked her on fb, insta, snap

3. Deleted all our mutual friends

4. Blocked her number on whatsapp and deleted her number off my phone

 

 

Before I did the above, my feelings were all over the place. Now I gained back my control. I felt like I don't have to wait for her to enjoy my life.

 

I put on heaps of weights intentionally, worked out everyday and generally more buff and fit. I lost a lot of weight after the break up.

 

I am starting to feel confident. I am still not dating anyone because I am busy fixing myself. Eating right. Exercising. I am entrepeneur. Making my business model works. I am in a happier place now.

 

I started to see my ex in a negative light.

 

1. She threw our 3 years out of the window cos she had gigs. She mingled with all low qualities single mates who do drugs and s.

 

2. Our 2 furkids she didnt have the courtesy to check up on them. Why would i even want to marry this woman? She is not fit to be the mother of my future children. I am a responsible and driven man. I took good care of the dogs walked them daily generally super alpha and ladies like me. The next girl that comes along she is gonna be a lucky woman because I am a good catch and I will honour her and give her the best of everything. My kids will be brought up with me as a role model.

 

My birthday is coming up and I don't have to wait for her birthday greetings. She is just gonna give me breadcrumb. I don't deserve breadcrumb. I am going to enjoy my birthday with my favorite people. People who wouldn't play mind games with me.

 

I know everyone is struggling in your own way but trust me god knows who does right who does wrong. Good people will always deserve good people.

 

And today 52 days on NC

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Hey sb26 you proven to me that ex will always come back if you were a good partner. He came back but it's too late you moved on.

 

Hey Jezza,

Yes, I was always good to him. He cannot pinpoint a single incident when I had hurt him. Many people don't even realize that. In my case I feel he realizes this now.

But coming back doesn't mean anything for me if the person does not have true realization.

I really dont know if he is really sorry or not for the damage as I never responded to his calls & texts after going for NC. I never gave him the chance to explain & confront the things afterwards. This could prove to be big limitation or a downfall on myside but tell you the truth I am left with no courage to recover from any other hurt from him...And as they say-"She is strong enough to walk away but broken enough to come back...

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I am gonna get through this I know. God is watching over me and karma works like a bich. I am just gonna stick to my gun and keep striving. One day I will look back and realise how stupid I was for allowing you to haunt me.

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Day 57 NC

 

Almost broke NC today because I was feeling weak and vulnerable. Did tons of exercise to release endorphin.

 

I also made realised that the reason we broke up was because of karma. I was probably not a good person and you probably not a good person. Unless we improve ourselves then there is no way getting back together. I helped you through many stages of your life. Probably I owed it to you. The same with my former ex. Probably my job in this world is to make all my exes reach their full potential.

 

Good luck to you ex. I hope you find happiness. I am going to be brave to face that fact that you are never coming back being the introvert person you are. I learned my lesson. Being a giver means nothing but a page on history. Thanks for flipping me over. I am going to create my own happiness without you. Bye

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Working hard today made me recall how you treated me one year ago. I nurtured you into a managerial role. You relocated to another state for work. On my b day you didn't have the courtesy or consideration to spend the long weekend with me. Instead you went out partying with your low and useless mates. Really made me why I stooped so low wanting you in my life. When 2 people in love and care for each other everyday is special and b day and anniversary and valentine day become even more significant. Made me realised I deserve so much better because I would go all out for someone I love. To me you were top priority. But obviously I am just a ing Noone to you. You always get the love you think you deserve. So if that's how you treating your other half you will get exactly a boy version of yourself. Fcking cold and heartless person. As for me I am a warm, romantic and responsible person so my future wife will be the same version of me. No wonder we didn't work out. It has to be best gift god has given to me. I will appreciate it. Thanks

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Day 59 NC

 

I will have the best time of my life starting from today. Note to self: I don't have to deal with losers. You and your mates are all sore losers who have no moral values.

 

Today i see the real you. You are a drama queen. You are a passive aggressive person. You dug up a crap hole and blamed the whole world for your miserable life and bad decision. Get over it. Move on.

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Day 60 NC

 

Went clubbing ystdy. Didn't enjoy myself. Preferred working out and something more rewarding.

 

For the next 10 days I won't think or shed a tear for the ex. It's gonna be hard. And i am going to do a social media detox too. I will try my best. Update this thread on 29 march. Ta

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Hey ena, I am af. I almost broke NC couples of time.

 

Today marks day 65 NC. I am emotionally shaken. I really wanna text her to ask how's she. But everytime I picked up my phone my memories brought me back to few months ago when she would be so cold to me.

 

Her blogpost tone still sounds so angry at me. Constantly reminding herself to fall for new person. Just makes me believe that she has gigs. And I shouldn't lose my pride to look for her.

 

Soon it will be 3 mths NC soon it will be 4 mths then 4 years.

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You are just in the process of learning how to recover. It will click eventually and you will be so tired of the hurt that comes with checking her blog. Take it a day at a time and after a week or two, I think you will feel empowered and wont want to check it any more.

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