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8 months later an I still miss my ex.. Reconciliation possible?


Mushyheart421

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My ex broke up with me 8 months ago, I wasn't being as thoughtful or as caring towards her as I should of been. I think she also was having issues trusting me. I'm 22 and her 20 and we dated for just short of two years. I was her longest relationship an also took her virginity. After we broke up she almost immediately jumped into a new relationship with a guy who "treats her like gold". That's kinda what she always wanted from me but her bf before me of a year an a half also did that but she got bored and left him. Originally she wanted to be friends and stay around but I couldn't handle that. I made all the classic mistakes in the beginning like begging and crying and gifts. Now we don't really talk anymore. If I called I think she would answer but I respect her enough to let her be in her relationship. We have talked a few times post break up and when we do it just kinda picks up where we left off lol. It's weird I have been in long term relationships and have missed ex's before but it really is different with this girl. I think about her everyday still after all this time. I worked hard on bettering myself I have a new job, new car, healthier. Do exes really come back? I think from what I've read men come back more often than women do. Am I wrong? Can I still have some hope of getting another shot with her?

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But why should she give up true love to return to you?

 

He took her virginity...if there's one thing I know is that if you lost your virginity to a boyfriend he practically owns you for a few years. I learned that the hard way with my first ex who I treated like gold and her ex treated her like garbage and she couldnt stop missing him. Of course that's my ex and not every woman but we were about the same age as the OP.

 

OP, why do you want her back? Admit it...I know there's something genuine there but you're only doing this to see if you can. I know you don't believe me but you wont realize it till a few months after you have her back that your ego was more interested in seeing if you COULD get her back than actually having a healthy relationship. I know I was there 2 ex girlfriends ago and everyone on ENA warned me and it wasnt till I had her back and 2-3 months passed that I realized they were right. I was certain I wanted her back for the right reasons.

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I'd like to think what she has now isn't true love , but more along the lines of a fling for her heart. I was immature when I dated her. Us breaking up was what I needed to grow up and be more the guy she knew I could be and that she deserved. I challenged her, I did support her, I made her laugh and smile and I still support her now even without being together. I turned 21 and didn't handle our relationship responsibly. She made me grow up and I hope to have an opportunity to show her all that.

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YOU think it was true love. Apparently SHE doesn't. And since you didn't come to that realization until she'd had enough of your indifferent treatment, I can't blame her if she's skeptical.

 

Why do so many people decide someone's the love of their life only after they lose that person because they got tired of being taken for granted?

 

And you BOTH have to want to get back together in order for you to get back together! You can't "show" her, she has to come to that decision on her own.

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He took her virginity...if there's one thing I know is that if you lost your virginity to a boyfriend he practically owns you for a few years.

 

This is definitely not accurate. I mean, where the hell did you come up with this one?

 

As for the OP, no, reconciliation is not possible at the current moment because she's in love with someone else who treats her better. It's probably not possible down the road either as your lives go on their separate paths. You're more than likely going to go down different paths than reunite.

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I'd like to think what she has now isn't true love , but more along the lines of a fling for her heart. I was immature when I dated her. Us breaking up was what I needed to grow up and be more the guy she knew I could be and that she deserved. I challenged her, I did support her, I made her laugh and smile and I still support her now even without being together. I turned 21 and didn't handle our relationship responsibly. She made me grow up and I hope to have an opportunity to show her all that.

 

Eight months is quite a fling. In fact, it kinda looks like moving on.

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In my eyes you have hope of moving on and building a great new future for yourself.

 

Instead of looking backward, how about looking forward? You're young, the world is before you. Why waste your time pining over someone who doesn't want what you want? How about being available to someone who DOES want to be with you, and who you don't have to convince?

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It's not like I haven't been dating or with women since then, it's just the idea that with her it's different and I would of liked to hear others say anythings possible when the love is genuine, but doesn't seem that way. If she stays happy in her relationship I won't rock the boat or be angry at that. I do care enough to want the best for her and I still plan on reaching out every now an then to check on her and keeping the idea of us getting back together possible. If it happens I'll be a lot more to her then what I was and if it doesn't I'm sure something else will workout.

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It's not like I haven't been dating or with women since then, it's just the idea that with her it's different and I would of liked to hear others say anythings possible when the love is genuine, but doesn't seem that way. If she stays happy in her relationship I won't rock the boat or be angry at that. I do care enough to want the best for her and I still plan on reaching out every now an then to check on her and keeping the idea of us getting back together possible. If it happens I'll be a lot more to her then what I was and if it doesn't I'm sure something else will workout.

 

Reaching out to check in to try to plant a seed in her mind is manipulative as hell and not the sign of "true love". It's the sign of someone who doesn't respect the other person. Not to mention that it will probably annoy her at worst or just make her feel bad for you at best. Neither one of those are good building blocks for a relationship.

 

If you really do care about her, then let her do her thing without trying to meddle and interfere (which is what checking in is). You had your shot, it didn't work. It's up to her (AND COMPLETELY UP TO HER) whether or not you get a second one. Stop trying to trick and manipulate her into giving you that chance. It's not cool.

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You blew that out of portion lol I meant it how I said it, Not planting seeds but more checking on a friend. Yeah for now I have bigger intentions but that doesn't mean I'm pressing her for that. LC every couple of months is far from trying to trick or manipulate someone.

 

She's not your friend. She's your ex. And you specifically said you'd be checking in to "keeping the idea of us getting back together possible." That's not a friendly check-in, that's an agenda. And it reeks of manipulation.

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I get what your saying, I take a little of what everyone says and add it to what I think. I will always keep the idea of getting back together in the back of my mind, I don't reach out often but whenever I do it's more seeing how an old friend is not hey let's try again. Yes she's my ex but it's more than that with her. I never speak to any of my other exs but with this girl neither of us want it to be that way but surely respect my boundaries and stay away. What guy doesn't take his girl for granted at least once. No ones born perfect lol you just learn and grow from your mistakes and experiences. I wanted some support originally when I made this thread but I won't allow you guys to kill my hope. I'm not holding my life up for her, or going out of the way to ruin hers but I do believe in second chances and I think this could warrant one down the line.

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I would assume that if you had just taken her for granted for a day or a week, then she would not have left you. And gotten with someone else. And still be with him 8 months later.

 

But you hang on to the hope that when HE takes her for granted, she will think of you...and maybe check in!

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This is definitely not accurate. I mean, where the hell did you come up with this one?

 

As for the OP, no, reconciliation is not possible at the current moment because she's in love with someone else who treats her better. It's probably not possible down the road either as your lives go on their separate paths. You're more than likely going to go down different paths than reunite.

 

You own a women when you give her first orgasam, not just sex

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