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Thread: Why is my ex boyfriend adding so many people on Facebook all of a sudden?

  1. #1
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    Why is my ex boyfriend adding so many people on Facebook all of a sudden?

    I have an opinion question. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago saying he doesn't see a future with me. We tried to stay friends the first 1.5 months, but it was impossible. I was overly jealous of one of his married friends at work and accused him of having an affair with her. About 1.5 months ago, we stopped talking completely after a huge fight. He got really mad at me for accusing him of the affair and completely shut me off.

    Well, during our entire relationship of 10 months, we both never once added each other on Facebook. We were both too stubborn to add the other, and I use it very rarely, and he uses it very rarely that we just didn't care at all. It was a non issue in our relationship until our breakup, when I used it against him saying "you never added me on Facebook bc you were trying to hide our relationship". I didnt even really mean it, but I said it anyway to try to prove a point i was making. He even admitted during our breakup he was wrong for never adding me, and I was surprised to hear that but I genuinely didn't even really care.

    Anyway, after our breakup, I would check his "recently added friends" the first 1.5 months and there were none. This was when we were still friends and talking. I think I was snooping to see if he adds girls. Then, after we got in our huge fight and he started hating me, about 1-2 weeks after that, he literally has added almost 100 people in such a short amount of time. A mutual friend asked me "what the heck is going on with your ex, he is becoming friends with so many people. It keeps popping up on my newsfeed" i then went to check out his recently added friends list and was shocked at the amount of people he recently added. A lot of the people were also our coworkers who he hardly even knew. Btw, we work together, so there were so many people he is just acquaintances with at work. He used to complain about how people from work add him and he hates being friends with coworkers. I think it is SO odd and out of character for him. One girl he added for example, I remember talking to him about her and he didn't even know who she was. I was like "thats Jessie's best friend at work" and he said "oh yea i still don't know who that is" and now they are Facebook friends!! He is also liking everyones pictures and statuses all the time, I can see the ones that are our mutual friends. It is just very odd behavior because he never likes anything before or added anyone and would complain of ppl from work adding him. He is also making status posts, one about the powerball recently and one about people should use the app venmo. Even my best friend who is friends with him is like "he never ever makes Facebook posts, this is weird" and he keeps them on "public" so I can easily see it.

    Anyway, I am trying to analyze this weird social media behavior from him. One best friend said "he is doing it for your attention, he probably knows you are checking up on him and is doing it for you to see". I just can't imagine he would care since he dumped me and then stopped talking to me. My best guy friend said "this is single guy behavior, he is just trying to get back out there". I tried to look up articles to find the psychology behind why a person adds so many people in a short amount of time after never using Facebook for years, but there aren't much. The closest thing I could find is an article that said insecure people add a lot of people they hardly know on Facebook.

    Anyway, do any of you guys have an opinion about why he is doing this? Or if you acted similar after a breakup, why did you add so many people you hardly knew?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Birdie's Avatar
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    Why does it matter why he is adding people? No one here can look into his mind about why he's changed his social media habits.

    I think it would be better to focus on why you're putting so much if your attention on this guy who's no longer in your life.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Blue_Skirt's Avatar
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    Isnít this what happens often? People break up and do things they have not done before. When I broke up with my first puppy love at 17, I decided to get earrings and I know he hated earrings. My last ex created a Facebook account after we broke up. Women sometimes change their hairstyle / hair colour after a break up. Donít read too much into it, especially not when itís about Facebook.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    I agree with Birdie. If I were to guess, I would go with what your guy friend said "He's putting himself out there". Not even necessarily looking to meet women, but to connect with people!
    Nothing that strange or wrong with it either. People can change their minds about something and decide to give it a try because, why not?

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  6. #5
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    Why are looking constantly at his Facebook page? You need to get a grip, Rose. This leads to only pain and suffering. What an ex does is impossible to define and trying to figure it out will only drive you nuts.

    You need to,let this go.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member mg22's Avatar
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    He's trying to make new friends? who cares what hes doing focus on you and stop looking as his FB Page.

  8. #7
    Member beautifulzen's Avatar
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    Move on. You broke up. What he does on Facebook isn't your concern. Make like the chick in Frozen and "LET IT GO, LET IT GOOOOOO."

    In all seriousness, he probably isn't thinking about you. It may seem harsh but it's likely true. The only thing you'll accomplish by constantly scrutinizing his Facebook is driving yourself crazy. Trust me, I've done it.

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    Wow, I usually only post in "healing after a breakup" and just realized the people in this forum aren't at all as friendly or understanding as the "healing after a breakup one." I should probably stick to that forum.

  10. #9
    Gold Member treesandbees's Avatar
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    Maybe he is spending more time online after the break up and that is why so many new adds lately compared to before. I deleted my FB because I had common friends with my ex and didn't like seeing things that popped up, or looking at old photos it became too much, you could maybe deactivate for a bit until you feel less sensitive regarding him.

  11. #10
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    Block him on FB to prevent yourself from snooping and tell your friends to stop updating you about an ex. That's beyond toxic and will drive you "crazy."

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