My hurtfull story

First of all hello and thank you for reading my story.

Here it goes,

I`m 25yo and she is 23. We had a relationship for 2 years and one month.. as usual with ups and downs but i loved her and i still do more than anything. Half an year ago we moved to another country to work and make a bright future together. I left first because i had a job already and she came after 2 months. Those 2 months for me were awful.. i was crying most of the time because i was used to her being with me 24/7 and she kinda ignored me.. she was out with friends every night.. i started getting suspicios / jealous. After the 2 months she came to me and everything was back on track for 2-3 months. I was kinda off most of the time because i kinda hated my job.. and she didn`t had a job.. she was taking classes..and made a few friends.. and i started getting mad at her because she was always out with friends.. every weekend.. when i wanted just to be with her on my free days.

Long story short last month.. we had a discusion about money and that I feel she doesn't offer me any moral support, and decided to break-up.. i was mad.. i accepted it.. we both cried a lot that night.. i was devasted.. she moved to a friend in the same city the next morning.. she asked for a 2nd chance but i was still angry and i said no.. but when i got home from work that day.. i called her.. i begged her to come back.. but she said that it's over.. the pain was ok-ish for 1 week.. but now.. she moved to her brother in the same country like 700km from the city we lived.

a few days ago I texted her again.. to meet up to talk about it.. to work it out.. because i love her so much but she said that she doesn't see a future for us.. and that there is no love left for us. I'm devasted.. i don't know what to do.. i'm in a foreign country with no friends.. with nothing.. and i'm not that very social guy that can make friends easy. everynight i struggle with insomnia.. thinking about her. I still hope like an idiot everyday that she will knock on our door and we work it out..

I don't know what to do.. I still hold on to hope but deep down i know there is no point of doing that since she told me that we're over. I want her back.. i just know that we can fix it and live our lives. I'm a mess.. now i haven't contact her since last week. I still have her on social media and i see that she didn't delete any of out photos yet, maybe that why i'm still hoping.

Please give an advice.. do you think that she will come back ? should I text her again or have i done enough ?

I'm scared that I will be alone and unable to get another one like her ever again.. I know deep down that this may not be true.. but I'm freaking out.

Thank you.

O.M.G. you sound exactly like my friend who is also foreign and went through the same thing. Almost the same but after a few months later, everything became clearer to him and he saw she was not really a good person. It was very difficult to not be with the person esp after being in love. My friend lost 30lbs from depression, not worth it.

First if you cannot handle the emotions when you see her on your social networking site, block her. Personally I was too lazy to delete my ex's photos.

Stop contacting her. Stop texting. Stop it!!!!

You cannot force someone to reciprocate your feelings if they do not have it.

You want her back because it's comfort. Change is hard. That's why people don't leave their 20 year marriage cause they're comfortable arguing every day.

Ok, there are billions of females out there. You're going to find someone MORE COMPATIBLE AND CARE ABOUT YOU. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE SMARTER, FUNNIER, PRETTIER, ETC!!!!!

Join a youth church group, volunteer at a homeless shelter, join online gaming or forum community. I think you can count on us here to be your friends.

Edit: I would be jealous/suspicious too if my partner went out every night and weekends. That's not nice. She doesn't seem like she cares. You mention 24/7 being with her, that being comfortable and knowing familiarity. Change. Embrace it. It hurts, it sucks, everyone went through this and lots of experienced people will say give it too and you will get better!

Thank you for the reply,

I know I should let her go but I don't want to.. I don`t know why but I still think there is hope.

I will try to stop contacting her, maybe she will text me or something. It's just hard to accept that it's over, i will never see this girl again. we made plans for the future..and to lose all of this for a fight.. I always tried to fix things.. I don`t just throw everything in the trash.

It's been a month since the break-up. I had break-ups before.. and it took me around 2-4 weeks to get over someone.. but I don't know why is so painfull right now..

Its painful because you are so lonely. You have a lot of time to think about things and dwell. I learned that healing after a break up depends on your mindset. You are focusing in on what you dont have and look at that you have a chance to improve your life. You say you have no friends, then go out and make some. You control your happiness my friend.

Thank you for the advice. I know I have to do things for myself. Otherwise I can't get over her.

The problem is i still love her a lot.. and thus i know that i can't force anyone to feel anything for me, i still hope that she will realise what we had and come back. That's why i don't want to block her on social media just yet. I don`t think that love can go just like that.. puff and it's gone.

Harsh reality is that you are always going to have a love for her, but it doesnt mean you have to stop your life because of it. No one knows the future and who knows maybe one day she will find you, but you cant be in the same position if it happens. You two broke up for a reason and if you are the exact same guy then nothing will change and there is no incentive for her to come back. The thing is you have to be the great happy guy that attracted her in the first place not the guy that she broke up with. I hope you understand what Im trying to say.

Now, you finding that great happy guy helps you in so many ways... you can attract a wonderful, beautiful girl again and here is a spoiler alert.. odds are that the next girl you find will be even better than the one you just broke up with. Break ups are hard, they are easier said than done, I know how you are feeling. The thought of another girl seems like a galaxy away but once you realize she is gone and its over what choice do you have? There are billions of women out there and you are worried about one? She wasnt the one for you if she was you would still be with her.

You control how much you smile. If you are going to spend months or years crying over what happened then you are just wasting time. Mourn your loss but stand up and dust yourself off and go make yourself happy.

No1, I know deep down that you are right, but i can't accept it right now.

I was thinking to text her. after the discussion we had on 24dec when she said to leave her alone and not contact her again, on 25 she messaged me " merry xmas, take care of you..". this tells me that is still room for contact.

I want to text her that i did a serious thinking about what happend and i know where i was wrong and i am willing to give her the space if she wants to take it slow this time and try to rebuild something.

please tell me what do you think ? I don`t know if she's over me.. she kept all the photos on social media with us.. also she needs to give me back some of the stuff that i have at her brother's place. I was thinking to send her that message.. with no pushy things.. just to say that i understand were i was wrong and that i'm willing to repair / change.

I know that i keep on holding on to this girl.. but i just want her back.. it's been over a month and keep having dreams about her.. and can't function straight.

Please tell me what do you think ? is it a good idea / do i have chance ?

If there is a chance it has to come from her. She knows you want her and want her back but its no longer up to you to decide what two people want. Best thing to do is let her be, let her see a life without you. She knows where to find you if she wants you. The choice has to be hers..

I didn`t talk to her since x-mas.. she started making friends in her new town.. a lot of guys.. and I'm just miserable.. I am thinking to move back to my home country but i'm scared because i will move back to the apartment where we lived together. It's been almost two months since the break-up and I can feel that I'm about to breakdown anyday now.. i just can't stand the pain. I have no one to talk to even at work, no friends no nothing here. Friends from back home are pressuring me to come back home and start over but here I have more money (actualy the only thing that keeps me here is the tought that she will come back to me).

I know I should act like a man, i'm not a teenager i have to wake up and move on.. but i just can't. I'm exercising every other day now.. nothing changes. I just need someone to tell me that this pain is gonna go away, that it will be ok someday.

I don`t want to block her on facebook because I guess i will like to talk to her after all of those feelings will go away.

I was thinking to write her a mail.. nothing angry.. just to say that I love her a lot and I understand her decision and that i will always remember our small things that will always make me happy, and this will be the end.

I'm hoping that by doing this I will get some closure. And also make her think about all those moments. And hopefully I'll move on.

Please, tell me your advice.

First of all hello and thank you for reading my story.

 

Here it goes,

 

I`m 25yo and she is 23. We had a relationship for 2 years and one month.. as usual with ups and downs but i loved her and i still do more than anything. Half an year ago we moved to another country to work and make a bright future together. I left first because i had a job already and she came after 2 months. Those 2 months for me were awful.. i was crying most of the time because i was used to her being with me 24/7 and she kinda ignored me.. she was out with friends every night.. i started getting suspicios / jealous. After the 2 months she came to me and everything was back on track for 2-3 months. I was kinda off most of the time because i kinda hated my job.. and she didn`t had a job.. she was taking classes..and made a few friends.. and i started getting mad at her because she was always out with friends.. every weekend.. when i wanted just to be with her on my free days.

 

Long story short last month.. we had a discusion about money and that I feel she doesn't offer me any moral support, and decided to break-up.. i was mad.. i accepted it.. we both cried a lot that night.. i was devasted.. she moved to a friend in the same city the next morning.. she asked for a 2nd chance but i was still angry and i said no.. but when i got home from work that day.. i called her.. i begged her to come back.. but she said that it's over.. the pain was ok-ish for 1 week.. but now.. she moved to her brother in the same country like 700km from the city we lived.

 

a few days ago I texted her again.. to meet up to talk about it.. to work it out.. because i love her so much but she said that she doesn't see a future for us.. and that there is no love left for us. I'm devasted.. i don't know what to do.. i'm in a foreign country with no friends.. with nothing.. and i'm not that very social guy that can make friends easy. everynight i struggle with insomnia.. thinking about her. I still hope like an idiot everyday that she will knock on our door and we work it out..

 

I don't know what to do.. I still hold on to hope but deep down i know there is no point of doing that since she told me that we're over. I want her back.. i just know that we can fix it and live our lives. I'm a mess.. now i haven't contact her since last week. I still have her on social media and i see that she didn't delete any of out photos yet, maybe that why i'm still hoping.

 

Please give an advice.. do you think that she will come back ? should I text her again or have i done enough ?

 

I'm scared that I will be alone and unable to get another one like her ever again.. I know deep down that this may not be true.. but I'm freaking out.

 

Thank you.

Lord, just reading your story breaks my heart.First,Im really sorry you have to go through this. Second, you will find someone. Right now it may not seem like it because your going through the break up and the grieving stage of it but you will find someone. But for right now please focus on you.Cry for a couple of days and then start to do things that you like. Try to make friends at work. If it gets to a point that your feeling really lonely you might want to look into getting a therapist or moving back home.

I didn`t talk to her since x-mas.. she started making friends in her new town.. a lot of guys.. and I'm just miserable.. I am thinking to move back to my home country but i'm scared because i will move back to the apartment where we lived together. It's been almost two months since the break-up and I can feel that I'm about to breakdown anyday now.. i just can't stand the pain. I have no one to talk to even at work, no friends no nothing here. Friends from back home are pressuring me to come back home and start over but here I have more money (actualy the only thing that keeps me here is the tought that she will come back to me).

 

I know I should act like a man, i'm not a teenager i have to wake up and move on.. but i just can't. I'm exercising every other day now.. nothing changes. I just need someone to tell me that this pain is gonna go away, that it will be ok someday.

 

I don`t want to block her on facebook because I guess i will like to talk to her after all of those feelings will go away.

 

I was thinking to write her a mail.. nothing angry.. just to say that I love her a lot and I understand her decision and that i will always remember our small things that will always make me happy, and this will be the end.

 

I'm hoping that by doing this I will get some closure. And also make her think about all those moments. And hopefully I'll move on.

 

Please, tell me your advice.

You don't sound like anything, you sound like a human who is heartbroken and thats fine. I do think it would be a good idea for you to move back home. It will be easier for you to move on from this whole thing

I agree with no.1 she knows that you love her and want to be back together. Don't chase her let her be. Delete her off of everything you checking her social media will not help you one bit

i guess i will move back home next month. Doing this feels like i'm giving up on her.. i know that i will never see her again if move back home...

Also the mail part i know that will cancel any chance for me to get back with her. But i'm hoping that by doing this, it will remove all my false hope of getting back together.

I regret from the bottom of my heart that I was angry that day and I accepted the break-up. i can`t forgive myself. I should`ve act differently. I know there's no point in thinking about "ifs".

Really thank you for the messages. It makes me feel good that I can share this thing with someone.

Also she always said that I don't really love her.. she said that I just don`t want to be alone.. She always said that.. even after we broke up.. she said that I don`t want her back.. i just want someone not to be alone.

Thats another reason to send her the mail..

Also she always said that I don't really love her.. she said that I just don`t want to be alone.. She always said that.. even after we broke up.. she said that I don`t want her back.. i just want someone not to be alone.

 

Thats another reason to send her the mail..

I get that you want someone and you don't want to be alone especially because your away from home but you need be careful when you have that taught you open yourself up for people who don't have your best interest at heart. Please do your best to get back home as soon as possible and start doing things for yourself and hang out with your friends.

Have you accepted that its over? It does take two people to make things work and you cant do the work for both people. You have to get out of that mind frame that you gave up or quit or thoughts like that. Truth is that if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. But she doesn't so you are not together. It takes two.

The best thing for you to do is admit that its over. Its okay to let go of the relationship. All you are doing is starting another chapter of your love life.

Hey...

I wrote her a message last week.. with no intention of getting a response.. basicly I said i'm sorry for stuff that i did wrong.. and also i thanked her for the wonderfull relationship and i told her that from my point of view.. i will like to start over with her but i know that's not really possible at the time.

I got a response yesterday from her saying that she doesn`t she doesn't hold me responsible for the break up.. whats done is done and that there is NO chance of getting back toghether. Also she said that she went back home and that she will like to meet and get a coffee sometimes but not now because she is also hurt and wants to stay away from me a period of time.

After that we made small talk..about stuff.. i left her my laptop but she said she will pay for it.. but i'm do afraid to ask her for the money right now..

Now i'm planning to move back home next month also.. i know it's a mistake because now i wanted to go back badly because she will be there. but maybe this is the way for me to heal.. get back home.. meet with some friends.. try to get over it. I'm starting to have problems sleeping again after i sent her the message, but I grabbed some vitamins from the farmacy to help me get back on my feet.

I accept that is over.. but as i say it.. it feels like i'm lying to myself. I hope it will pass soon. So far, i feel very lost.. don't know who i am anymore, if i will ever get a girl like her again.. she was a perfect 10 for me.. beautifull.. smart all the package, but i ed up. At first it felt like i don`t deserve to be with her because i'm not that good looking.

I want to feel like i'm making progress with my self... I haven't cried in a week, actually last week was okish, but today it feels like i'm back to square 1. I'm also thinking that i'm making a mistake that i will go home.. don`t know why.. maybe because part of me is doing it for her.. and the other part to try and find someone new..

Thank you for the messages. I know i'm a emotional wreck right now, and I kinda piss people off because I fail to understand logic.

you are going thru the normal cycle. There is nothing wrong with you. Your emotions are going to swing like swings on a swing set on a windy day.

Right now your confidence is down in the toilet. Thats okay, it happens to us all. So before you get down on yourself and say youll never attract a beautiful woman again Im going to say.. Youve done it before, who is to say you cant do it again? Even a 99% failure rate means youll get at least 1 hot girl.

So what you have to do is find that guy that attracted the hot girl then once you do, dont eff up again.

You messed up.. we all do. You are not the first and not the last guy to mess up. We are human, messing up is what we do, but we have to learn from them.

cry if you have to, thats fine but know that in the long run, youll be okay.

ok. Today my ex posted a picture with a guy. This guy.. met with her a few months ago .. when i was waiting for her.. but she lied about it.. and i found out later about their meet up as she told me herself. also back then she told me there was nothing going on between them, and that they are just friends. after that i saw a message from him to her saying that he misses her. I let that go.. didn`t confront her because i thought it was all in my head.

ok. now i`m angry and hurt because i feel stupid and i belive that she cheated on me during the time i was waiting for her to come to this country. also because i left her my laptop and begged her to take me back a few weeks ago.

now.. my gut is telling me to just confront her.. and tell her everything and to give me back my laptop and that she's a sl*t .. but i know.. that it's just the angry inpulse.. i rly don`t know what to do.. i was thinking to go to a therapist.. because i can barely hold on.

I know that i will resolve nothing if i insult her but deep inside i just want her to feel what i feel. Funny fact is that her ex boyfriend told her that she's a sl*t but i ignored that.

Shes not yours ... She can do whatever she wants. You have no right to be angry

Rob you really need to stop looking at her page. How is that helping you in anyway? ask yourself do you like to be in pain?If the answer is no then start to do things that bring you joy not tears,fear, and worry.She is obviously doing what she wants to do whether you like or not.You should do the same without keeping tabs on her your only causing your self more pain and stopping yourself from moving on.

ever hear of the saying 'careful what you look for because you just might find it"?

You were looking for an excuse to be angry. You were looking and looking until she posted a picture with a guy and in your mind that gave you justification. What is there to confront? Its over... the whole thing is over. Confronting her now just makes you seem petty and all you are doing is re inforcing her decision to end it with you. You are not helping yourself.

Dude.. its over. At this point there is no blame or fault. It doesnt matter anymore. You have to let that stuff go.

The more you stalk her page, the worse you are going to feel. Quit it!

Its over... accept it.

You were right. it's my fault that I keep looking for stuff to make myself feel like .

I didn`t do anything while I was angry, maybe because I posted here first.

She contacted me a few days ago.. and also today.. to ask me if i'm comming home and when i'm coming and if i plan to stay there or go back to this country .. all those question confused me. I answered every question she had regarding that.. and i forced myself not to ask he anything.. like " why are u so interested ? " and all that. I just asked her if shes ok.. and she said yes.

Those questions kinda put a dagger in my heart and at the same time lifted some pain because for a second there.. i started to hope that maybe she is interested in something.. maybe she wants to meet up.. but i try to stop myself from thinking that because it can only bring pain. But every time i talk to her.. it's like.. I feel alive again.. it doesn't matter what it is about.. the idea that she is interested in what I am doing boosts my mood skyrocket but after a few minutes feels like someone smashed bricks on my chest.

I never contacted her after x-mass.. only she made contact.. i tried to shorten the conversations and not to ask many questions. I sill want her badly and i know that if i say something like that to her right now.. it will only push her away.