i feel out of control

In the last year something feels different that I have trouble explaining. I don't know if i am depressed, lazy, or just lack motivation.

I find simple tasks very difficult to accomplish. I have trouble waking up in the mornings and sometimes take hours getting ready to go places because i feel so worn out or anxious. Through out the day I find myself worrying about the tasks i need to complete. I spend a lot of time making lists of what i need to get done. If i do start a task i obsess over it, even if it is not at the top of my priority list.

For example in the last month i obsessed over two things: 1. A baby shower for a friend. 2. A marketing simulation for my college course

I do very well in the things that i decide to pursue. My performance in areas i can focus in is always above average. However, i cant turn my brain off about the details of what needs to be done. I constantly have racing thoughts and feel overwhelmed even when i don't have a lot to do. My biggest concern is with how much i feel like i'm daydreaming. I am unable to focus on anything. I have resorted to binge watching netflix series because it is the only way i can currently get my thoughts to slow down.

Even writing this post was very difficult for me. It took an hour for me to write it, i reread it numerous times, and i feel like my heart is racing.

I feel out of control emotionally and am not sure what is wrong with me. If anyone has had similar experiences or thoughts of ways i can improve my situation i would greatly appreciate it!

I think you should see a doctor for a full check and diagnosis and possible medication - sounds like you are suffering from some kind of anxiety/depression and you need professional help for that.

If you're in school, your tuition or taxes already cover mental health counseling on campus, so I'd use it for an assessment. Anxiety and depression are not the same thing, people just tend to glom them together. Not a crime, except that when it comes to medications, they're entirely different animals.

Procrastination and fatigue 'sound' like depression while they may be a combo plate of perfectionism and anxiety, which can be exhausting.

Nobody here can diagnose you, and you don't want to diagnose yourself and pursue meds from an MD. See someone who is trained in assessing mental health who can give you coping tools while you pursue the right referrals for 'ruling out' physical conditions.

Not everyone needs meds--there are options to pursue other ways of managing stress, while others elect to treat with meds and then work themselves off of those. Either way, those choices need to be supervised and monitored.