theREALdusman Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Hey guys, here's an update on what's been happening... So basically my ex girlfriend recently unfriended me on Facebook, primarily due the fact that I told her straight up that she shouldn't call or text me unless she wants to talk about us getting back together, I wasn't arrogant or anything, I was just calm and direct, and just let her know that she can't have her cake and eat it too, and keep me around as a plan B; because I love her too much to just be friends, which I know is a bad idea. So anyway, she unfriends me from her Facebook after I told her that, surprise! surprise!! I didn't think she'd do that, but i knew that she'd get angry for sure. She basically told me to block her from everything, which I haven't and won't, because my attitude is that if you're the one who's decided to leave this relationship, I'm not going to support you because I think what you're doing is very stupid and selfish, so I'm not doing you're dirty work for you. So anyway, I find out that she not only unfriended me, but also my brother, my older sister, my mother...but not my other younger sister. And one thing I've noticed, but I don't know if I'm paranoid or not, but it seems that every time I post a photo when I'm out having a good time which I do from time to time, my ex puts up a photo shortly after, as if she's trying to get to me, make me jealous, or compete in some way, whether it's through Facebook or Instagram. And we all think that the reason that she's only kept my other sister on her friends list is her way of keeping tabs of what I'm doing, because she knows I'm not keeping tabs on her...and i find that if I'm not posting anything then she's not posting, so i don't if she's trying to feed her ego or she's just being childish or whatever, but it looks like she might be conflicted, or not...I don't know. So yeah, any light on this topic would be greatly appreciated guys. Oh and also, if you're ex (dumper) is the one who unfriends you on Facebook, is it good to send them a friend request after a certain point if you want them back?? OR does the ex (dumper) have to be the one who initiates it?? And what are the pros and cons to each scenario??? I've been in absolute no contact for about 2 weeks since I told her what i wanted, it's been killing me, but I've been trying to just focus on myself and my goals and stuff, which is actually helping alot. So yeah, any light on all of this would be great guys. Thanks. Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 The games that ex's play. You have to let the obsession go. No contact is for you to heal, not as a way to get her back. Understanding why she is doing this or that matters not. You are letting her mess with you. I know it is hard, but sometimes letting go and not doing anything but focusing on you is the only choice you have. Stop being crazy ex boyfriend. Link to comment
Bunney Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 because she knows I'm not keeping tabs on her.. Well, quite clearly you very much are Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Your sister could solve your problem by unfriending her on fb. You are being paranoid and foolish. Stop worrying about what she's doing or not doing and get on with your life. Link to comment
Raoul Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Stop looking at her social media pages. Why torture yourself? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 I'm sorry, but why is it such a big deal when someone unfairness you on FB. UGH! Sounds a bit obsessive. Link to comment
Birdie Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Yeah I think you're giving this waaaay more credit than how it is in reality. People want to move on from exes, so they delete them and their family so they're not reminded of them every time they browse Facebook. That's it. Don't give it anymore thought than that. And by noticing all this on Fb, you must be looking her up or at her profile, so you're not NC. Cut ALL contact and focus on moving forward, block her. Link to comment
Andrina Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 If she decided she wanted you back, why you even take her back? She didn't care about you enough to work on your problems. Instead, she dumped you. Why would you risk your heart on someone who so easily kicked you to the curb before? On and off relationships never work because it means you're not right for each other. I've never taken anyone back who broke up with me. I'd rather risk my heart on someone who I have a clean slate with. You won't be moving on until you stop getting updates on her life and seeing her photos and thinking about what she's thinking. She chose to no longer be a part of your life. Why are you still a part of hers? Link to comment
jennylove Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Good for her for taking step 1 in her healing process. Link to comment
freewill1234 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Whatever you do, do not send a friend request to her on FB. Balls in her court now. You told her straight up that you only want her to contact you if she wants to get back together. Leave it at that, stay NC and move on. I wouldn't block her from FB yet because it doesn't sound like you're strong enough too, you will probably unblock her and she might notice this. This is the challenge now for you. You might be better off disabling your FB account for a bit until you become a little more emotionally detached from the situation. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Dude, you are 30! Why do you care so much about Facebook? You are in the denial stage and taking everything as a sign that she still loves you. The real reason she unfriended you: she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and wants to move on. I always unfriend and block my exes. You need to do it to. It's not healthy to obsess over Facebook. Like seriously, sit down and logically think about this, you're an adult, it's Facebook. Face the real world and see it for what it is. The relationship is over and you're just delaying your healing. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 I would seek counseling if I were you. You are a bit "out there", don't you think? No offense but most people are relieved when their ex unfriends their family members. Get help and get on with your life. She's your EX, remember? Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 It's a natural thing to do. He wanted to move on with his life and I think you should too.I don't see the problem, she did you a favor. Now you can move on. And no ,don't send her another request in the near future, respect her wishes. Link to comment
LovelyDani87 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 At this point you are only hurting yourself and dragging the break up on. Let it go.. I know it's cliché but you have to stop right now and forget about what she's up to, what she had said etc. Find peace in your heart that you no longer have to know what's going on in her life. Leave it alone and move forward. Link to comment
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