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Ever Gone Back?


curiousme

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Have any of you left a girl you knew was great for you (perfect wife & mother material) but left because after a couple years you felt a bit bored and wanted to see what was out there? Granted, you could have tried to work harder on the relationship before breaking up. They wanted to make things work when breaking up.

 

Anyways, have you ever regretted what you have done after playing the field a few months? Missed what you had with your ex? Realized you made a huge mistake? Have you ever mustered enough courage to be honest and go back? If you did, did it work out for you? Needing your thoughts here. Even when ending things, thought: I may realize the grass isn't always greener...

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Depends on how long you've been apart and how the breakup went I guess. Other than that, since it was you who walked away, it should also be you who admits they were wrong and they want the other one back. It's a risk but, if you really love her, you should be willing to take it, especially if she wanted to work things out back then and you didn't. it's your turn to try to fix things, if that's what you want.

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Thanks for your replies, everyone.

 

Depends on how long you've been apart and how the breakup went I guess. Other than that, since it was you who walked away, it should also be you who admits they were wrong and they want the other one back. It's a risk but, if you really love her, you should be willing to take it, especially if she wanted to work things out back then and you didn't. it's your turn to try to fix things, if that's what you want.

 

We had been together for two and a half years. We have been apart a little over 3 months now. The breakup was not angry. We were both very emotional about it all. Sometimes me more than her.

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What are the real reasons behind your break-up? Are you sure you left her because you were bored? or because it was comfortable and secure? or you thought you weren't in love with her? or not compatible enough?

 

Because if you were truly bored, the relationship can definitely be successful a second time around with communication and by avoiding taking each other for granted. I cannot stress the impact of communication in a relationship; being open and having positive thinking can change everything. Instead of thinking ''The relationship is so boring!'' transform it to ''What can we do to improve it?'' and check if your partner puts any effort. At the end of the day, maybe she thought you were boring too? People can always work through problems if they are mature and open.

 

My ex left me for the same reasons with a mix of ''I don't feel the same way'' and didn't want to work on the relationship although I was wife/mother material (generally speaking love is more than that).....if he would return, I would try a second time with him because he would be worth it in my eyes and because I see a lot of potential in him. If he doesn't come back, I will never run back to him.

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Boredom. Things just seemed to be almost a routine. I am sure things could have been done to make things fun again. I think boredom is what lead to wanting to see what else was out there and feeling like I was not in love. She is a wonderful person. Sweet, very kind and caring. Always showed her love. We had great chemistry too. Many similar interest which was great because it allowed up to do many activities together. Even intimately, we had great chemistry.

 

I think you are right, evam. Communication could have definitely been worked on. Especially from my part. I think partially it was also a fear of what a future could be (committing).

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If everything you've written is true, maybe just stop overthinking and give it a try? Talk to her, tell her how you feel and that you're prepared to work to get her trust back and see what happens. If the relationship you two had was really that good, there are chances you succeed. From my point of view, my ex and I had a pretty similar relationship and break up. Even if the split was mutual, I wanted to work on things, he didn't. After everything that was between us I would give him a second chance - but he would have to ask for one. I wouldn't go back on my own since I feel it's his turn to make the effort now.

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Would you say you have commitment issues?

If you want her back you should think ling and hard as to whether it's likely you will get board again. To go back just because your lonely isn't fair on her.. don't do it if you think you may walk away again if you get board as its not fair on her.

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Would you say you have commitment issues?

If you want her back you should think ling and hard as to whether it's likely you will get board again. To go back just because your lonely isn't fair on her.. don't do it if you think you may walk away again if you get board as its not fair on her.

I echo this.

You should think long and hard before you consider engaging her again

Typically exes are exes for a pretty good reason.

It would be very unfair and selfish should you reconnect with her only to find out the same dynamic exists and you feel like leaving again.

If you do reconnect address all issues head on with a solid plan on how to not repeat the same mistakes.

 

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

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Boredom. Things just seemed to be almost a routine. I am sure things could have been done to make things fun again. I think boredom is what lead to wanting to see what else was out there and feeling like I was not in love. She is a wonderful person. Sweet, very kind and caring. Always showed her love. We had great chemistry too. Many similar interest which was great because it allowed up to do many activities together. Even intimately, we had great chemistry.

 

I think you are right, evam. Communication could have definitely been worked on. Especially from my part. I think partially it was also a fear of what a future could be (committing).

 

If you don't mind me asking how old are you and is it your first long-term relationship?

 

First break-ups usually lead to a lot of introspection and make us realize the things we have to improve for the next relationship. Rather it's taking each other for granted or lack of communication, those things that can be improved. Sadly, people only realize it after due to lack of experience and sometimes ego.

 

I may be wrong but I think you are overthinking the future because you haven't addressed the issues in your relationship. Not addressing your issues makes no room for improvement and leads to break-ups in search of someone better. You've looked at your relationship in a negative and non-proactive way. Relationships take a lot of work but they are worth it. Walking out of one is the easy part......

 

Once you improve what needs to be improved in your relationship you shouldn't be second-guessing it. Got to take risks in life.

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Yes, I guess you could say I have commitment issues. Wish I had a better idea how to work through them because this woman is amazing.

 

Don't mind at all. I'm 35 ( I know, I know...). I've had a couple other long term relationships (2+ years). You are absolutely right that I (and "us" if I had the chance) have some things to figure out and work through. She said the same thing you did, evam. That relationships take a lot of work and aren't easy, but are absolutely worth it.

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