Fela Kuti Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Say, you're an orthodox religious man and your potential spouse has the same religion as you but with much lower level of practice and knowledge. Practically everything is compatible/equal between you and her except for this matter. She says she doesn't have a problem with your orthodoxy and will compromise, but you still have some lingering doubts of possible clashes that could come out of this difference (e.g. child education, way of dressing, opposite-gender interaction). Sure you could address the dealbreakers in advance, but there's bound to be small differences that might add up. Would you still go for it? Link to comment
DoF Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I wouldn't date a religious person. Deal breaker. Link to comment
Theniceone Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Potential spouse? if you are just dating ( or is it an arranged marriage situation) it does not make sense to marry someone who does not have the same value system from the get go. Sure some couples can talk it through, but it would be extremely difficult to achieve especially when children are involved. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Best to stick with someone with a similar level of religious intensity. Link to comment
Clinton Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Heavy into religion and I'm not, deal breaker Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Yes, so long as there was mutual respect. I'm not a religious person so as long as the person respects that I don't believe in the same things that they do. Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 would you compromise? she says she is willing to compromise, but are you willing to compromise on issues too? Link to comment
Stay_home Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Why can't child education, way of life or friends of the opposite sex have more to do about your personal preferences as human beings and not so much about religion? Link to comment
Fela Kuti Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Potential spouse? if you are just dating ( or is it an arranged marriage situation) it does not make sense to marry someone who does not have the same value system from the get go. Sure some couples can talk it through, but it would be extremely difficult to achieve especially when children are involved. yeah you can say we're dating. you're right, maybe I'm too naive thinking that she'll improve to match my level of religiosity would you compromise? she says she is willing to compromise, but are you willing to compromise on issues too? sure, I'm all for compromising, except for some core values in religion, and that's what I'm afraid of. sure she now says that it's not a problem, she'll compromise and improve on her religion, but who knows what would happen. Why can't child education, way of life or friends of the opposite sex have more to do about your personal preferences as human beings and not so much about religion? I'm not sure what you mean there but for me my religion is the basis of my preferences as a human being. Link to comment
musicman777 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I see this topic come up quiet a lot, "religion". You know, we are all human beings born on the same planet. I don't think any religion has a right to say who you fall in love with (and that is one of many reasons why I am agnostic). Unfortunately some people have been brainwashed to have that train of thought. I have to agree with others; I think you should date/marry someone with similar religious beliefs. It's something I see as a mutually beneficial topic at first but down the road I see it becoming a big problem, especially you eventually have kids. Link to comment
Fela Kuti Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 I see this topic come up quiet a lot, "religion". You know, we are all human beings born on the same planet. I don't think any religion has a right to say who you fall in love with (and that is one of many reasons why I am agnostic). Unfortunately some people have been brainwashed to have that train of thought. I have to agree with others; I think you should date/marry someone with similar religious beliefs. It's something I see as a mutually beneficial topic at first but down the road I see it becoming a big problem, especially you eventually have kids. well you could replace 'religion' with 'core values' and that would be the pretty much same. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 She says she doesn't have a problem with your orthodoxy and will compromise, Naah, I wouldn't bother. Compromise needs to work both ways in order to 'work,' and there is no compromise in orthodoxy. Link to comment
youareworthy Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Dear Fela, Are you an African or Middle Eastern man who is an Orthodox Christian? (Ethiopian, Eritrean?) Or are you an Orthodox Jew, or a serious Muslim? If you are an Orthodox Christian, I have some ideas on this topic. Perhaps you and I can chat privately, if the moderators feel that would be the right choice. Youareworthy Link to comment
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