Day 47 no contact

Today is day 47 no contact..!47 days from the actual break up. I broke up with him. I was left with no choice wen I was breaking up with him and felt so upset. I haven't heard a thing since. We were going 5 years. Just last week he has decided to make a Facebook account. I had to block his name so I Wudnt have the opportunity to torment myself from looking at it. I feel like I haven't really healed from no contact. Deep down I still love him but he must feel bitter towards me that I ended it even tho I had no choice. He pushed me to it 😔

It sounds like you're doing everything right so hang in there. It takes time to heal from a break up and being a forced dumper doesnt make it any easier.

47 days is awesome, but let's forget counting now.The only goal needed is moving on.I think we stop counting untill we realize they are not coming back( been there) stopping the count is the good step in moving on.

Best wishes

Today is day 47 no contact..!47 days from the actual break up. I broke up with him. I was left with no choice wen I was breaking up with him and felt so upset. I haven't heard a thing since. We were going 5 years. Just last week he has decided to make a Facebook account. I had to block his name so I Wudnt have the opportunity to torment myself from looking at it. I feel like I haven't really healed from no contact. Deep down I still love him but he must feel bitter towards me that I ended it even tho I had no choice. He pushed me to it 😔

Hi Chutney86,

I totally understand how you feel as I am going through the same situation now. Just want to share a little of my own story here. My ex and I had been together for 4 years (little short than your relationship) and decided to break up 2 weeks ago because I just can't be with him anymore. Just like you, I still love him too but I told myself that I have to follow the NC rule just to help myself heal. I am not counting day by day because my goal is to move on and not looking back. You are actually very brave to block his fb so that you won't get to see his stuffs even accidentally. Please keep us updated as we both going through the same stage now, and I would like to hear how you getting over this. Also, we are here supporting each together. Let's get through this together.

It sounds like you're doing everything right so hang in there. It takes time to heal from a break up and being a forced dumper doesnt make it any easier.

 

47 days is awesome, but let's forget counting now.The only goal needed is moving on.I think we stop counting untill we realize they are not coming back( been there) stopping the count is the good step in moving on.

 

Best wishes

Hi Dottie,

Totally agree with you on stopping the count and it will help a lot. I had set my goal as moving on , but not wanting him back at all. I am telling myself that I can do it. =)

Why were you left with no choice but to dump him?

Try to socialize a lot more! A LOT MORE! You need new people in your life, I'm not saying dating anyone new yet. You can always make new friends and explore different characters. If you do feel comfortable start talking to guys. Strictly "TALKING" since you still seem very emotional.

Why were you left with no choice but to dump him?

I wanted a commitment from him and he kept saying he wasn't ready. He had problems even spending quality time with me.

MC26

You sound like you are coping fine. 👍🏻 I had to block it for my own sanity. I broke up with him because I wanted a commitment from him and he couldn't give me that. Kept saying he wasn't ready. His priorities are his mates. I'm left now feeling very hurt that he couldn't even acknowledge my feelings after the break up when he knew I was very upset and didn't want to break up but I knew I deserve better.

Hi Dottie,

Totally agree with you on stopping the count and it will help a lot. I had set my goal as moving on , but not wanting him back at all. I am telling myself that I can do it. =)

Try to socialize a lot more! A LOT MORE! You need new people in your life, I'm not saying dating anyone new yet. You can always make new friends and explore different characters. If you do feel comfortable start talking to guys. Strictly "TALKING" since you still seem very emotional.

I am talking to guys but I can't stop thinking about me ex and I think it's the psychology of the no contact and the silence.

MC26

You sound like you are coping fine. 👍🏻 I had to block it for my own sanity. I broke up with him because I wanted a commitment from him and he couldn't give me that. Kept saying he wasn't ready. His priorities are his mates. I'm left now feeling very hurt that he couldn't even acknowledge my feelings after the break up when he knew I was very upset and didn't want to break up but I knew I deserve better.

Chutney,

Wow, our situation is very similar. I am at the mature age and ready to be in a commitment, but then he told me he is not thinking about it and still want to have fun with his friends. I was so upset because I thought we both been together for a while and things are getting stable now and can't believe that he wasn't thinking about getting further. It hurts but yes I think instead of spending time to continue waiting while he doesn't know what he want, then it's better to move on and look for someone else who is ready to settle down. I told myself maybe he is just not the one.

Let's get through it, we both deserve better..

P.S meeting him tomorrow to sort out some stuffs/paperwork, trying my best to show him that I am totally OK without him.

Yeah, no one in committed relationships ever have fun with their friends.

Chutney,

Wow, our situation is very similar. I am at the mature age and ready to be in a commitment, but then he told me he is not thinking about it and still want to have fun with his friends. I was so upset because I thought we both been together for a while and things are getting stable now and can't believe that he wasn't thinking about getting further. It hurts but yes I think instead of spending time to continue waiting while he doesn't know what he want, then it's better to move on and look for someone else who is ready to settle down. I told myself maybe he is just not the one.

 

Let's get through it, we both deserve better..

 

P.S meeting him tomorrow to sort out some stuffs/paperwork, trying my best to show him that I am totally OK without him.

Aww I'm sorry to hear u are in a similar situation. I try to tell myself that if he was willing to let me go than make a commitment then he wasn't the one. At least you have the upper hand in your situation where ur ex contacted you. Mine hasnt due to bitterness and stubborness. Gud luck with your meeting tomorrow. I really hope it goes well for u. And yes, show him how great you are doing xx

MC26

How did u get on with ur meet up?

MC26

 

How did u get on with ur meet up?

Hi Chutney, Thanks for asking! here is the update.

It was OK. We didn't really talk about anything, just some quick short words regarding the paperwork. I signed the paper and left, returned his stuffs to him, and that's it. I told myself it's OK, it's all GOOD. I am feeling pretty comfortable seeing him, but on the other hand, seems like he is not really comfortable seeing me, and didn't look into my eyes when he talked to me. I guess he is just feeling bad or something. Sometimes, I want to tell him that we can still be friends even now we are not together, I don't hate him or anything, but I am afraid that he may thought I want to keep contact, so I rather not say anything at all just to make him feel better because I know he feel it's his fault for breaking up.

To be honest, I tried my best to show that I am fine without him. I did feel sad and want to know how is he doing, but then I didn't ask him about anything; even though he seems having a cold, I didn't even ask if he is sick because I don't want him to misunderstand that I still care.

To conclude, seeing him did make me think about him, but I stay strong and remind myself that I need to move on. So, I will keep my NC rule, and will never have any thought of getting back and been always telling myself that "I DESERVE BETTER" and I don't want him back because he didn't make me happy, he really did made me worry more than happy, so I will find a man who will make me laugh and happy every day.

Chutney, I am sure you can do the same too. Let do our best and find a man who is willing to be in a committed relationship, but not keep making us waiting and waiting.

Hi Chutney, Thanks for asking! here is the update.

It was OK. We didn't really talk about anything, just some quick short words regarding the paperwork. I signed the paper and left, returned his stuffs to him, and that's it. I told myself it's OK, it's all GOOD. I am feeling pretty comfortable seeing him, but on the other hand, seems like he is not really comfortable seeing me, and didn't look into my eyes when he talked to me. I guess he is just feeling bad or something. Sometimes, I want to tell him that we can still be friends even now we are not together, I don't hate him or anything, but I am afraid that he may thought I want to keep contact, so I rather not say anything at all just to make him feel better because I know he feel it's his fault for breaking up.

 

To be honest, I tried my best to show that I am fine without him. I did feel sad and want to know how is he doing, but then I didn't ask him about anything; even though he seems having a cold, I didn't even ask if he is sick because I don't want him to misunderstand that I still care.

 

To conclude, seeing him did make me think about him, but I stay strong and remind myself that I need to move on. So, I will keep my NC rule, and will never have any thought of getting back and been always telling myself that "I DESERVE BETTER" and I don't want him back because he didn't make me happy, he really did made me worry more than happy, so I will find a man who will make me laugh and happy every day.

 

Chutney, I am sure you can do the same too. Let do our best and find a man who is willing to be in a committed relationship, but not keep making us waiting and waiting.

Wow! U did good. U are very strong. Well done. If I had of been in that situation I would have crumbled. I think about my ex everyday even though I try hard not too. I think to myself why am I wasting my time thinking of a person who did not love or care about me the same as I did him. Still no contact from him. I don't want back with him, i know in my heart I deserve better. Like you, I don't hate my ex even though I have plenty of reasons to but I am a good person and the only way to move forward is to forget and forgive. I hope we do find our true Mr Rights. X

Wow! U did good. U are very strong. Well done. If I had of been in that situation I would have crumbled. I think about my ex everyday even though I try hard not too. I think to myself why am I wasting my time thinking of a person who did not love or care about me the same as I did him. Still no contact from him. I don't want back with him, i know in my heart I deserve better. Like you, I don't hate my ex even though I have plenty of reasons to but I am a good person and the only way to move forward is to forget and forgive. I hope we do find our true Mr Rights. X

It's not easy honestly, but we just need to move on. I do think of my ex and wonder what he is doing once in a while too, but I will get myself out of it very fast because I don't want any dragging on and makes myself unhappy. Don't force yourself too hard on not thinking about him, sometimes, it just because we haven't get used to it yet. We have been with that person for a while, we can't just say forget then forget cuz they were part of our life once. Btw, don't wait for him to contact you, and don't even think about contacting him, it's actually better to be in no contact. Trust me, when I am trying to heal, then suddenly a text from him would just ruin my process, then I have to start all over again.

So, let it go and time to take care of ourselves, let fate does the rest

It's not easy honestly, but we just need to move on. I do think of my ex and wonder what he is doing once in a while too, but I will get myself out of it very fast because I don't want any dragging on and makes myself unhappy. Don't force yourself too hard on not thinking about him, sometimes, it just because we haven't get used to it yet. We have been with that person for a while, we can't just say forget then forget cuz they were part of our life once. Btw, don't wait for him to contact you, and don't even think about contacting him, it's actually better to be in no contact. Trust me, when I am trying to heal, then suddenly a text from him would just ruin my process, then I have to start all over again.

So, let it go and time to take care of ourselves, let fate does the rest

 

Thanks so much for ur support. It has been very good. So far I've stopped counting the days. I try hard to keep busy so I'm not thinking about him. I hope everything goes well for u. And ur right about letting fate take care of the rest. I wish my friends gave me words of wisdom like u 😊