franktank Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months. Nothing serious. She had been initiating flirting and hinting at plans up to a week ago when she just went cold with one word responses. Her grandma was dying of cancer and I offered my support and let her know I'm here for her. She blew me off. I said I understood she was upset but didnt have to push me away. She replied with the following text: "pushing you away? you practically friendzoned yourself. Listen i know you had good intentions but I've tried so hard to flirt with you and all you do is take me seriously and come off as a to my friends. I appreciate the flowers but I had to open my mouth to get them. Not once have you tried holding my hand, take me out to a real dinner date or even call me beautiful. Forget the fact that you didnt pull a move on me. Thats ok anyways because when you kiss me its like you're kissing for the first time. You have a strong personality and would be a great friend but as a boyfriend I'm sorry but the game you have isnt what I'm looking for. You always have to be right and any conversation we have turns into a playful argument. I cant stand that. Listen my grandmother is practically on her death bed, and has hours left. I'm learning the hard way that life is short. So im just gonna say it. I just dont think what you have to offer is good enough for what i need. I dont want to come off mean but i practically have to spell everything out for you" There is plenty of this that is untrue but I havent responded to this. No sense arguing when shes like this. What should I do from here? Should I just give her space and reinitiate again at a later time? Should I just walk away and never respond again due to her being disrespectful and insulting me? Should I just go no contact and wait for her to contact me (if at all) and then take things from there? Is she completely done with me and I have zero chance as it seems to be or is that just the grief, anger, and frustration from the death coming out towards me? Any help and advice would be appreciated Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Its over. Do and say nothing. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Wow it doesn't get more done than that. At least she didn't keep you hanging. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I gotta say, the part where she says "I gotta spell everything out for you" and you still are wondering if you should just give her space......WOW. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Give up, it's two months and there's already massive amounts of drama. A simple block and delete her, back to the drawing board. Unless you enjoy being emotionally bullied, because I read what she said and she's coming off as a whiny princess. Nothing you ever do will be enough for her and she already told you it's done, so it's done. I'm not even sure why you have to ask. She was bashing you for not being a mind reader on how to please her. All I could think was, "Whoa there Satan, go eat something and take a nap. A simple I don't see us together, so I'm not going to date you any longer, but thank you for your condolences," would have been the classy way to let you down. Not that spewing. You dodged a bullet, move on. Option two is the way to go, she was massively disrespectful with zero reason to be. Block, delete, find someone with better manners. Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Too much drama, let it go, don't respond to her. Find yourself a nice girl. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Her Gran is dying, which makes your two months of doing things wrong meaningless. Stick a fork in it, it's done. Strangely, I quite admire her brutal honesty. As for giving her space, she's given you the space. Like the rest your life space. Don't make an utter fool of yourself contacting her again EVER. Link to comment
Clinton Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 The relationship is done man, it's bitten the dust, it's pushing up daisies, it's bought the farm, it's breathed it's last, it bought a pine condo, it's doing the dirt dance, it cashed in it's chips, the fat lady has sung, it's checking out the grass from underneath, it's crossed over, it'd deader than a doornail, it's defunct, it's demised, it's departed, it's erased, it's extinct, it's taking a dirt nap, it's feeling no pain, it.s flatlined, it gave up the ghost, it's gone to the big hotel in the sky, it's gone to meet it's maker, it's wearing a toe tag, it's a win for the reaper, IT'S OVER!!!!!! Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 The relationship is done man, it's bitten the dust, it's pushing up daisies, it's bought the farm, it's breathed it's last, it bought a pine condo, it's doing the dirt dance, it cashed in it's chips, the fat lady has sung, it's checking out the grass from underneath, it's crossed over, it'd deader than a doornail, it's defunct, it's demised, it's departed, it's erased, it's extinct, it's taking a dirt nap, it's feeling no pain, it.s flatlined, it gave up the ghost, it's gone to the big hotel in the sky, it's gone to meet it's maker, it's wearing a toe tag, it's a win for the reaper, IT'S OVER!!!!!! I'm saving this lol Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Do not respond. I would also take what she said to heart. You sound a bit clueless in the dating department. Link to comment
Mari Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months. Nothing serious. She had been initiating flirting and hinting at plans up to a week ago when she just went cold with one word responses. Her grandma was dying of cancer and I offered my support and let her know I'm here for her. She blew me off. I said I understood she was upset but didnt have to push me away. She replied with the following text: "pushing you away? you practically friendzoned yourself. Listen i know you had good intentions but I've tried so hard to flirt with you and all you do is take me seriously and come off as a to my friends. I appreciate the flowers but I had to open my mouth to get them. Not once have you tried holding my hand, take me out to a real dinner date or even call me beautiful. Forget the fact that you didnt pull a move on me. Thats ok anyways because when you kiss me its like you're kissing for the first time. You have a strong personality and would be a great friend but as a boyfriend I'm sorry but the game you have isnt what I'm looking for. You always have to be right and any conversation we have turns into a playful argument. I cant stand that. Listen my grandmother is practically on her death bed, and has hours left. I'm learning the hard way that life is short. So im just gonna say it. I just dont think what you have to offer is good enough for what i need. I dont want to come off mean but i practically have to spell everything out for you" There is plenty of this that is untrue but I havent responded to this. No sense arguing when shes like this. What should I do from here? Should I just give her space and reinitiate again at a later time? Should I just walk away and never respond again due to her being disrespectful and insulting me? Should I just go no contact and wait for her to contact me (if at all) and then take things from there? Is she completely done with me and I have zero chance as it seems to be or is that just the grief, anger, and frustration from the death coming out towards me? Any help and advice would be appreciated She was looking for romance, she wanted you to make her feel wanted without her telling you to do that. It's like you make an android and you want it to love you but not because you programmed it to love you but because it chose to love you on its own. Sure you fish for that love by flirting but the rest has to come from the android. You are that android. She wants flowers cause you want to give them to her because you think she's worthy, not because she asked because then you'd be giving them cause she asked and you didn't feel squat. It can be hard to figure out if you're coming on too strong or not coming on strong enough. In this case, not coming on strong enough. It's your choice what you want to do from here. The key during these times is to take what she's saying, not let your pride get in the way and get affected by it and figure out what she wants and decide if you should change. In this case, you can resolve this issue by changing and by telling her how you truly feel about her, assuming you feel she's really awesome. If you think she's awesome and you wish you could be her boyfriend, explain in detail every reason why you want to be with her and what you would've liked to do with her. The "proof" of why you like her are both descriptions of physical beauty as well as what you like about her personality. Once she receives that from you she may be willing to go out on a date again. At that point, you would have to show your "proof" in the way you look at her and act around her. It will only take her a few seconds to figure out how you feel about her by the way you look at her. After she receives the in person "proof" she would want to be with you but she'd want things to continue at that level. Good luck. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 There is no way to "resolve" this. None. Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 She was looking for romance, she wanted you to make her feel wanted without her telling you to do that. It's like you make an android and you want it to love you but not because you programmed it to love you but because it chose to love you on its own. Sure you fish for that love by flirting but the rest has to come from the android. You are that android. She wants flowers cause you want to give them to her because you think she's worthy, not because she asked because then you'd be giving them cause she asked and you didn't feel squat. It can be hard to figure out if you're coming on too strong or not coming on strong enough. In this case, not coming on strong enough. It's your choice what you want to do from here. The key during these times is to take what she's saying, not let your pride get in the way and get affected by it and figure out what she wants and decide if you should change. In this case, you can resolve this issue by changing and by telling her how you truly feel about her, assuming you feel she's really awesome. If you think she's awesome and you wish you could be her boyfriend, explain in detail every reason why you want to be with her and what you would've liked to do with her. The "proof" of why you like her are both descriptions of physical beauty as well as what you like about her personality. Once she receives that from you she may be willing to go out on a date again. At that point, you would have to show your "proof" in the way you look at her and act around her. It will only take her a few seconds to figure out how you feel about her by the way you look at her. After she receives the in person "proof" she would want to be with you but she'd want things to continue at that level. Good luck. Following this persons advice will result in a restraining order. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 The relationship is done man, it's bitten the dust, it's pushing up daisies, it's bought the farm, it's breathed it's last, it bought a pine condo, it's doing the dirt dance, it cashed in it's chips, the fat lady has sung, it's checking out the grass from underneath, it's crossed over, it'd deader than a doornail, it's defunct, it's demised, it's departed, it's erased, it's extinct, it's taking a dirt nap, it's feeling no pain, it.s flatlined, it gave up the ghost, it's gone to the big hotel in the sky, it's gone to meet it's maker, it's wearing a toe tag, it's a win for the reaper, IT'S OVER!!!!!! I was going to add, "Yep, it's taking a dirt nap," but Clinton beat me to it, dang it! Stick a fork in it, because that baby is done. (You missed one, hah!) Sorry OP, but yeah it's over. Not every one you date is a keeper and you deserve someone who gets you and likes you, for you. Two months in it's kind of no harm, no foul. You both tried, it isn't working. Link to comment
Mari Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Following this persons advice will result in a restraining order. I was going to add that perhaps he should be a team player and not always be right. How do you guys figure saying a few nice things will result in a restraining order? Just apologize, say what you like about her and promise to treat her better. If she wants to give him a chance she will otherwise he doesn't have much to lose by asking. Link to comment
franktank Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Thanks for the replies everyone. I had been leaning towards just walking away. What confuses me though is up until a week ago she was pushing to meet up so I wondered if the anger at losing her grandma was being projected onto me. Idk. The flowers thing annoyed me though because she was already bringing that up after only 2 dates. I know to get girls flowers but that soon? And by her bringing it up puts me in a no win situation. If I dont get them, then obviously I'm an inconsiderate but if I do its only because she told me too. I cant win. And I sent them to her job a few weeks later because I knew she was stressed and that is how she shows appreciation? The ungratefulness and entitlement bothers me. Its unfortunate what happened because things started so well, she was so sweet, and we have so many things in common. Both very optimistic of the potential. But I do lack dating experience and have some anxiety so my taking things slow and being cautious did play a role in things. I think both not being a dating veteran combined with progressing cautiously because i didn't want to screw up, screwed things up. But she is not without her flaws in things too but my lack of 'game' didnt help. You live and learn. Reflecting on things and advice from you guys leads me to having to accept this once very promising girl isnt the one. I will not write back to explain or beg and will just let things be as they are and fade out. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 No move on.She sounds like a drama queen. If you stay with her, It'll get worse.It's for the best to let her go and enjoy your life.She'll only bring you down Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 There is nothing sweet about that girl. She sounds spoiled and entitled. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Definitely move on from this one. While I have to admit I appreciate the fact that she told you how she really felt, rather than making up dumb excuses like "It's not you, it's me" and "I'm not ready for a relationship right now," she sounds pretty angry, and as mhowe said, spoiled and entitled. WAYYYYY too much drama for only a couple of months. She really sounds like a drama queen, and you may very well have dodged a bullet. Contacting her again will make this WAY worse. Your best bet is to just leave it alone -- no response, nothing. That will tell her that you've heard her, loud and clear, and that you don't plan to engage in any more of her drama. Link to comment
Mari Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 ...You live and learn. Reflecting on things and advice from you guys leads me to having to accept this once very promising girl isnt the one. I will not write back to explain or beg and will just let things be as they are and fade out. Ok, after that explanation of wanting flowers after two dates, I'm going to have to jump on the bandwagon that's already pretty full of all the other people here. Have a good life, I hope you get someone better. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 This woman is an entitled, spoiled brat, she seems terribly high maintenance... yikes. I wouldn't say a single word. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Thanks for the replies everyone. I had been leaning towards just walking away. What confuses me though is up until a week ago she was pushing to meet up so I wondered if the anger at losing her grandma was being projected onto me. Idk. The flowers thing annoyed me though because she was already bringing that up after only 2 dates. I know to get girls flowers but that soon? And by her bringing it up puts me in a no win situation. If I dont get them, then obviously I'm an inconsiderate but if I do its only because she told me too. I cant win. And I sent them to her job a few weeks later because I knew she was stressed and that is how she shows appreciation? The ungratefulness and entitlement bothers me. Its unfortunate what happened because things started so well, she was so sweet, and we have so many things in common. Both very optimistic of the potential. But I do lack dating experience and have some anxiety so my taking things slow and being cautious did play a role in things. I think both not being a dating veteran combined with progressing cautiously because i didn't want to screw up, screwed things up. But she is not without her flaws in things too but my lack of 'game' didnt help. You live and learn. Reflecting on things and advice from you guys leads me to having to accept this once very promising girl isnt the one. I will not write back to explain or beg and will just let things be as they are and fade out. The flower things is a bit much, so soon into dating. I think she is very high maintenance, but I also think that you need to move a bit faster when dating. Link to comment
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