Well this will surely suck.

Some of you have read my previous posts. I recently heard that the x's grandfather passed away. I sent a card addressed to her whole family simply wishing my condolences. I had doubts weather to send the card or not but with some advise from ppl on here and people in my life I sent the card. I was NOT trying to earn brownie points despite what you think. The reason that I was hesitant was because I feared it would make her reach out. I don't ever want to speak to this person again but I was very close with the family so I sent the damn card.

I sent the card two days ago. X lives a few hours north so it will take a few days to get there.

Last night I found out that my sister has been staying in contact with x via phone calls and snapchat.

In fact I found out that when her grandfather passed she called my sister because she was sad. They were never all that close. They formed a friendship when we dated but no strong bond. She told my sister that she had no one to talk to and was sad. That is a complete lie. She has a huge family and lots of ppl that love her. She could have spoken to anyone else.

She also told my sis that the dog that I bought when we were dating (which she stole from me when she left) got hit by a car and wasn't doing well.

She has been gone four months now. It's no longer my dog and didn't really bug me.

I heard all of this from a mutual friend.

I recently started seeing a new girl. Nothing too serious. About 6 dates and a few hook ups. The new girl and I really like this local band that come around about once every six months. The x and I used to go see them every chance we got. Well here is the kicker. New girl and I have plans and tix to see the band tomorrow and I find out that x is going to the same show with a bunch of her people, and MY SISTER!!

Remember the x lives 3 hours away. And she never heard of this band before me and much know that there is a chance I might be there.

I am torn. I really want to go to the show with the new girl. But don't want to see x. I'm thinking I am going to go and tray and stay away. But it is a small venue and I'm sure I will see her. At that point I guess o will have to leave. I'm not sure. I don't understand why the hell she would be in contact with my sister. And this all couldn't have happened at a worse time being that I just sent the card.

Life sure gives you a lot of lemons.

Since the new girl has never seen the band, she won't care. Wait for the spring concert.

You aren't thinking of trying to stay away. You are trying to figure out how you are going to connect. Your own sister has not passed an iota of information, including the phone call or the dog story. Therefore, it would appear that ex asked her not to....and your sister doesn't see a need to inform you (possibly believing that you would contact ex).

So ---- take new gf off for a great night somewhere else and put the ex out of your mind.

All I get after reading your post is i really feel sorry for your new girlfriend. You are soooooo obviously not over your ex it's pitiful.

Get your head on straight and stop obsessing over the ex.

Don't think those are the cases. New girl has seen the band and loves them. Is looking forward to the concert. Sister doesn't tell me anything about x because I told her when we broke up that if they remained friends to please not tell me anything about her.

Don't want to conect with the x. Don't want to see here. Last post may be right. I am not over the hurt from the x but as far as the x herself I don't want contact and I definitely don't want to see her. I will most likely be honest with new girl and do something else. I don't think that I would have fun and mind would be somewhere else not on new girl. New girl is nothing serious. Just an interest.

Thanks for input.

Ugh I was one of those who told you to send a card lol well you still did the right thing. Just leave it at that. Now you have a new girl. That was kind of fast, but you know what you want. I would agree with the above cmnt. Skip the show and go for something else. You really can't do anything about your sister being friends with your ex. But you can control what you do. Protect what you and the new girl have and go enjoy your time elsewhere. It's too soon to bump into the ex, especially with someone new.

I think if you tell the new girl that you know your ex will be attending the concert with your sister, she may get over her desire to attend.

BTW --- your thoughts are currently on the ex. 24/7

BTW --- your thoughts are currently on the ex. 24/7

That is not the case. Yes I do think about her here and there. Usually some sort of irritated thought but I rarely think about her. I find myself going days without thinking about her. And when I do it is for a second and I push her out of my mind. It's just been more recently since the grandpa thing. I honestly have no desire to see her. Therefor I will tell new girl the situation and do something else with my Friday night. I think new girl will understand, and if she doesn't then she can find plans with someone else.

For what it's worth, I'm not sure why everyone's assuming you're still into your ex... I didn't get that impression from your original post at all.

If you're not comfortable going to see this band, maybe just suggest to the new girl that you do something else that night. Keep up with not contacting your ex as you seem to be doing okay without her. Hopefully she'll move on eventually.

Ugh I was one of those who told you to send a card lol well you still did the right thing. Just leave it at that. Now you have a new girl. That was kind of fast, but you know what you want. I would agree with the above cmnt. Skip the show and go for something else. You really can't do anything about your sister being friends with your ex. But you can control what you do. Protect what you and the new girl have and go enjoy your time elsewhere. It's too soon to bump into the ex, especially with someone new.

Thank you for insight. I did the right thing on the card. It may be fast to date, I really wasn't trying to. I have seen a handful of girls sinc the BU but I seem to meet girls really easy. I have kept it light with all of them. It is nothing serious. Just someone to hang out with and laugh.

 

Don't want to conect with the x. Don't want to see here. Last post may be right. I am not over the hurt from the x but as far as the x herself I don't want contact and I definitely don't want to see her. I will most likely be honest with new girl and do something else. I don't think that I would have fun and mind would be somewhere else not on new girl. New girl is nothing serious. Just an interest.

 

Thanks for input.

You will know when you are truly over the ex when you don't give a second thought to anything she is doing or planning to do, even if there is a chance you will cross paths, it simply won't matter and your plans won't be altered to accommodate her.

You still have a long way to go my friend.

All I get after reading your post is i really feel sorry for your new girlfriend. You are soooooo obviously not over your ex it's pitiful.

 

Get your head on straight and stop obsessing over the ex.

Yep, OP clearly needs to stay away from opposite sex for EXTENDED period of time and heal/recover. This will take time.

Just do the knod, say hi to your sister, and then ignore eachother for the rest of the night. It's not like you'll all be in the same section or sitting next to eachother. Just like breaking up with a coworker - act cordial, or go about your own business.

Tell the current girl, "Hey, I just found out my ex is going with my sister to the concert tomorrow. Do you still want to go or shall we take a pass and go do something else? I don't want any drama, hate that stuff actually. What do you think?"

Let the girl you're dating have a heads up and a say in the matter. You may not want to run into your ex, but sooner or later if she and your sis are friends it's bound to happen. Annoying yes, but you cannot run away forever. And if you see them a simple, "Hi everybody, then introducing your current girl to all of them including her simply by name with an extra nod to Sis is all you need to do."

And if your new girl wants to wear a killer outfit and smile hugely at everyone and be friendly she's a keeper, frankly. Some girls can handle it very well and have everyone loving them and some can't. But give her a clue what's happening there.

P.S. I get being over someone and yet not wanting to run into them. Especially if it wasn't a neutral breakup, but still you gotta rip that bandaid off sooner or later. It's usually far less awful than you think it is. GOod luck.

You will know when you are truly over the ex when you don't give a second thought to anything she is doing or planning to do, even if there is a chance you will cross paths, it simply won't matter and your plans won't be altered to accommodate her.

 

You still have a long way to go my friend.

I agree with this, I don't think OP moved on from his ex,Judging from his post . His actions and mindset prove otherwise.I'd say focus on yourself and getting over your ex first before dating