How many dates before you write someone off?

I have been on two dates with a lady I met on e-harmony. They were not terrible dates but not great either. We are both on the introverted end of the personality spectrum. And i feel like we are not clicking, but I am also thinking maybe it is our personalities and it takes longer to warm up to someone new. We have quite a lot in common and I am attracted to her, so I am not sure if I want to give up on her. But I also do not want to lead her on either. We have agreed to get together for a third date. So I am wondering whether or not to go ahead and have another date with her and see if we start clicking. Being introverted makes dating challenging and I do not want to mess something up because my brain does not know how to be quiet. But at the same time I do not want to keep heading down a dead end road. Your thoughts and advice will be greatly appreciated.

One. If I don't want to go on another date after the first, I don't force myself to go on a second. No reason to. It's not just for my own sake, either. Why would I lead someone on and let them think I enjoyed them by asking them out again? I'm not interested in wasting my time nor theirs.

It's hard to give it an exact number of dates - but maybe ask yourself this: Would you feel like you're losing out on anything by not giving it another date? If you think you'd be willing to try in once more - for a few dates - then maybe it's worth it.

For me if I did not desire to kiss the person by date four, that was it (whether or not we actually kissed).

So do you usually date women who are more extroverted or a mix of introverted and extroverted? How's that working out or you? I mean that in a nice way people seem to do the same things over and over saying "I'm more attracted to this or that" without every really giving something else a shot, it seems silly doesn't it?

Listen you said none of the dates were bad and you have a lot in common and you're attracted to her....so why would you not go on date 3? Ah yes it's the "not clicking" thing....well if you are both introverted it may take a bit more time to really open up enough to feel the click. If you're attracted to her and you have a good time with her my guess is that the click is there it's just not an overwhelming feeling. I'd give it a couple more dates just don't sleep with her until you've answered this question about the "click". 3-4 dates is not leading someone on....Sleeping with them just to see if the "click" will happen that's not only leading someone on, but it's just not cool in general.

Go for that third date and see how it goes. Nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Try something different for date 3 that might spark something. What did you do on your first 2 dates? Perhaps an activity?

Personally for me it's anywhere between 1-3 dates. If there is no chemistry, then it is one date. There is either a spark to make me want to know more about someone, or there is not. The ones I have given second and third chances to have turned out to be the worst ones, so now I trust my gut, and if it says "nope" then they only get the one shot. One date should be able to tell you if the person is on the same wavelength as you, if you are going to be able to feel comfortable around them, etc.

I dated an introvert. After the first two dates I was ready to call it but the third date we did an activity together and dynamic changed.

I assume you two have sat accross the table from each other and wrestled with the awkward silences?

Do some activity you think she might like and see if something changes. It did for me, at least at the time being.

(Mine didn't work out for a variety of reasons)

We have quite a lot in common and I am attracted to her, so I am not sure if I want to give up on her.

Then it makes sense to see her again. Try doing something you'd enjoy rather than forcing yourselves to speak the entire time.

I hope you'll let us know how it goes. If it's painful, you can call it quits at any time.